What about chaser's ego?

[username4this]

So, there are many texts on runner's ego (them being scared, ego based, socially based afraid of losing status etc., afraid to accept love ...)

Now what about the chaser's ego?
Have any of you, as a chaser, said in one point "enough is enough next time he comes around Ill make him taste his own medicine and start ignoring him"?

I know there are people in here who would say, if you love him you wouldn't never do that, but lets face it this is too a part of TF dynamics.

I have my own strange anxiety related to passing of time,
when I see things are not happening in the time frame I set (and it is a generously long period of time), I cant help but feeling frustrated.

Im afraid that this waiting, chasing period whatever you gonna call it, will make me become totally miserable, resentful, disgruntled person.
Im afraid that one day when he decides to come back for more, instead of being happy, Ill be too tired for anything...
Im afraid of my own personality, that may become too stubborn and too resentful that Ill make him taste his own medicine.
Im also afraid that Ill enjoy the role of me waiting for his comeback just to close myself forever.

I know I should think like that, I know. Im the one that reads Neville Goddard and tries to think and feel positive and have positive attitude, but still... it is so hard... the pain is unbearable.

My pain over our separation and over his walls was always unbearable and the only way I actually physically survived to this day was, when the pain starts to feel unbearable, to assume more destructive attitude (as I said it, that means to wait for him to come around just to not react to him)

I know you guys are gonna say if you feel that way he is not your TF. :)
Whatever he is by now, twin elephant or soul connection or karmic one or whatever you guys call it, I dont care ..
I know that this overall lasts for half of my life, so it is real to me.

Also, it is really hard to stay positive when you look back at a whole year I wrote him texts about how I felt and everything, and he haven't respond even to birthday message to him...
Im yet to have a birthday this year and the idea that this day too will pass without him sending 1 word to me - the amount of pain ... I just cannot even talk about the pain.. It is too much..

I know deep down inside that this is not over, but I also know that one day in the future Ill wont be able to forgive him all those years of ignoring and him having fun in a life without me... Even if that would make me a bad person...

I know life is not over when we die, it is just a cycle, I believe in it with my heart to the point that I say to myself "if he continues to act like this I might as well- metaphorically- lay down and wait for the death- the great equalizer - to sort out things we couldn't in this lifetime"

Even if all said doesn't make us TF or twins souls or whatever, I know that nobody can base a life on other person's pain and get away without consequences be it in this life or in the hear after, once we die.

I fell like runners ((or maybe it is just mine :)) sometimes literally based their life on chaser's pain and denying chaser a word or a closure or whatever...
I know it is hard to confront your owon feelings as a runner but sending one word via message one word or type two characters forming a smiley face.. - I cant accept that this is hard to do...


Maybe it is just me, but that is how I feel sometimes :(

Is there any other way to look at this, too look at this year in a different way than
"oh a year where I wrote him about everything, begged him to say a word, or just to confirm he read texts, just that, sent him bday wishes, begged and begged him and he ignored me, after everything he knows now about how I felt..."
I just dont know anything anymore :(

[Inika]

I'm really sorry username :( . I do understand this frustration. When you talk about just wanting a sign of life / acknowledgement from his side I hear my own connection saying 'if I gave you a smiley or response you'd take it further and cause distance between yourself and your own healing because you'd get caught up in it which would do neither of us any good' their distance is like showing us how distant we are from our self and what is true. Just too caught up in romance and feelings to be useful as a divine unit that is in service.

[Shivani Devi]

Yeah, this kinda reminds me about that "Hot N Cold" song by Katy Perry.

It gets frustrating sometimes not knowing what your TF is doing - and lets face it, they have a life too and aren't totally accountable to us, no matter how much we expect them to be...I guess this is where trust comes in.

The 'chaser's ego' is like - 'Y U running?...wot did I do?....Y U ignoring me?...talk to me, dammit!'. lol

However, the more insecure the chaser comes across as, the more the runner sees that as being too 'clingy' or whatever...so they run more and of course, the chaser chases more...it's a never-ending cycle.

When this happens, you need to take a step back and look at the whole relationship. It helps to just take a break and stop doing anything for a week or two and if the 'runner' is still interested, they will go "YU no chasing me nemore?" and if they are not interested, they will say nothing and you know then that it's over and it's time to move on.

[username4this]

Inika
Thank you. Whoa Im impressed by the way you look at it.
I would never look at it in that way :( I feel so inadequate for never thinking about it that way.
And the way you said "how distant we are from our self and what is true. " I love it, it does make sense
BUT also I have to mention too, I feel like if I dont get any sign soon (something that will be SIGN for me) - then all of this is like a lie, I dont have anything to grasp on to :(

The Necromancer
Yeah I know everything you said it is the true, and you are right too :)
(and I love that song)

'runner' is still interested, they will go "YU no chasing me nemore?"

Yeah, that is what Im hoping for :) in a way
Although my problem is Im afraid that it wont be few days but a few years or hundred years lol

[alcyone]

Eventually subsides. When there is no twin flame left around.....when the connection is invisible then u become spiritually deeper and in tune to deeper ...."stuff"?

[Delay_Reaction]

As a chaser, I definitely still do have an ego.

But my ego tells me that "she'll eventually come to see things my way", which to me is just as bad as wishing that a piano falls on her head.

My twin is sensitive to my energy, so I really have to tone things down with her.

When I text her and she doesn't respond, I don't freak out as much as I used.

I know it hurts when someone doesn't reciprocate, and it becomes so lopsided you begin to feel resentment towards them. But that's all just your ego talking.

Why do you feel that this person has to answer to you?

At this point, I don't even want to think about having to "equalize" with my twin. It's not about being 50/50.

If you are waiting for death to be the great equalizer, I think you are doing yourself a great disservice in this life.

Runners don't have to answer to anyone, especially to their chasers.

I feel your pain though. I know what it's like to continuously reach out, hoping for a breadcrumb or shred of reciprocity.

This is the perfect time to focus on yourself. Give love to yourself. All of those message you've been sending should be directed inwards. Let the universe sort the rest out.

Peace and love to you and wish you the best!

Originally Posted by username4this

So, there are many texts on runner's ego (them being scared, ego based, socially based afraid of losing status etc., afraid to accept love ...)

Now what about the chaser's ego?
Have any of you, as a chaser, said in one point "enough is enough next time he comes around Ill make him taste his own medicine and start ignoring him"?

I know there are people in here who would say, if you love him you wouldn't never do that, but lets face it this is too a part of TF dynamics.

I have my own strange anxiety related to passing of time,
when I see things are not happening in the time frame I set (and it is a generously long period of time), I cant help but feeling frustrated.

Im afraid that this waiting, chasing period whatever you gonna call it, will make me become totally miserable, resentful, disgruntled person.
Im afraid that one day when he decides to come back for more, instead of being happy, Ill be too tired for anything...
Im afraid of my own personality, that may become too stubborn and too resentful that Ill make him taste his own medicine.
Im also afraid that Ill enjoy the role of me waiting for his comeback just to close myself forever.

I know I should think like that, I know. Im the one that reads Neville Goddard and tries to think and feel positive and have positive attitude, but still... it is so hard... the pain is unbearable.

My pain over our separation and over his walls was always unbearable and the only way I actually physically survived to this day was, when the pain starts to feel unbearable, to assume more destructive attitude (as I said it, that means to wait for him to come around just to not react to him)

I know you guys are gonna say if you feel that way he is not your TF. :)
Whatever he is by now, twin elephant or soul connection or karmic one or whatever you guys call it, I dont care ..
I know that this overall lasts for half of my life, so it is real to me.

Also, it is really hard to stay positive when you look back at a whole year I wrote him texts about how I felt and everything, and he haven't respond even to birthday message to him...
Im yet to have a birthday this year and the idea that this day too will pass without him sending 1 word to me - the amount of pain ... I just cannot even talk about the pain.. It is too much..

I know deep down inside that this is not over, but I also know that one day in the future Ill wont be able to forgive him all those years of ignoring and him having fun in a life without me... Even if that would make me a bad person...

I know life is not over when we die, it is just a cycle, I believe in it with my heart to the point that I say to myself "if he continues to act like this I might as well- metaphorically- lay down and wait for the death- the great equalizer - to sort out things we couldn't in this lifetime"

Even if all said doesn't make us TF or twins souls or whatever, I know that nobody can base a life on other person's pain and get away without consequences be it in this life or in the hear after, once we die.

I fell like runners ((or maybe it is just mine :)) sometimes literally based their life on chaser's pain and denying chaser a word or a closure or whatever...
I know it is hard to confront your owon feelings as a runner but sending one word via message one word or type two characters forming a smiley face.. - I cant accept that this is hard to do...


Maybe it is just me, but that is how I feel sometimes :(

Is there any other way to look at this, too look at this year in a different way than
"oh a year where I wrote him about everything, begged him to say a word, or just to confirm he read texts, just that, sent him bday wishes, begged and begged him and he ignored me, after everything he knows now about how I felt..."
I just dont know anything anymore :(

[Shivani Devi]

This is the perfect time to focus on yourself. Give love to yourself. All of those message you've been sending should be directed inwards. Let the universe sort the rest out.

Yes! I wish there was a 'like button' on here.

I guess I don't have the ego of a chaser though - either a guy is into me, or he is not...simple!

As much as I love somebody and they love me (or say it), if they are not reciprocating, I just get on with my own life and do what I need to do.

Of course I will think about them from time to time because I love them, but unless they are also willing to be a part of my life, I cannot just be part of theirs at their convenience. Yes, it is an 'ego thing' and I both love and accept that.

Were I not an egotistical creature, I wouldn't have a TF in the first place and God would still be the only object of my unconditional love and affections and not have to play 'second fiddle' to another human being.

As much as I feel emotions, I don't allow myself to be controlled or attached to them. For example, no matter how much I love a man who says he loves me, if I don't hear from him for a month without any good reason, it's over, red rover and I move on. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life playing mind/heart games with a control freak...I have too much self-esteem and self-worth for that.

So, if a guy is on the run, I'm usually like 'come back when you've finished your running, but know I am not gonna wait here forever'.

If I am going to love something which rarely talks back, I'd much prefer to go back to loving God again because at least I'm rewarded for my impatience. lol

[~sati~]

Double post sorry

[~sati~]

Hey , before I say something I must say your post moved me because it's so relatable and it's everything that's on my mind

I'm new to posting on this forum but have been following it for a long time just that i never had to guts to start talking . I'm on a similar journey , just hesitant to put any labels on it . Personally I've felt all of the above and yet something keeps me going ..there are times I wish I could just forget all of this and stop seeing weird "on my face" synchs which remind me of him . I've reached a point where I don't mind if there is any contact...i don't get affected as such seeing him laughing and be with someone else..I've accepted our situation and learnt to be happy for him . But I'm not perfect and there are times when the pull is so strong and I yearn for at least a little comfort ...something to make sure I'm sane ...as '3d' as it sounds..if not any contact...at least a wish for my birthday would be enough .I'm trying to think beyond 3d ...getting there ..but I am human..I excuse myself ...I read articles about what the runner goes through...i believe it ..and then the logical side of me..ie..the 3d brain just tells me to suck it up , that he probably doesn't care and I'm just insane ... .

reading your post and ones like yours gives me peace...makes me realize that I'm not the only one so bless you for that ...hope you and each one in this journey is blessed with the courage to go on... Till all is revealed we might as well work on ourselves ..

[hineahuone]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Yes! I wish there was a 'like button' on here.

I guess I don't have the ego of a chaser though - either a guy is into me, or he is not...simple!

As much as I love somebody and they love me (or say it), if they are not reciprocating, I just get on with my own life and do what I need to do.

Of course I will think about them from time to time because I love them, but unless they are also willing to be a part of my life, I cannot just be part of theirs at their convenience. Yes, it is an 'ego thing' and I both love and accept that.

Were I not an egotistical creature, I wouldn't have a TF in the first place and God would still be the only object of my unconditional love and affections and not have to play 'second fiddle' to another human being.

As much as I feel emotions, I don't allow myself to be controlled or attached to them. For example, no matter how much I love a man who says he loves me, if I don't hear from him for a month without any good reason, it's over, red rover and I move on. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life playing mind/heart games with a control freak...I have too much self-esteem and self-worth for that.

So, if a guy is on the run, I'm usually like 'come back when you've finished your running, but know I am not gonna wait here forever'.

If I am going to love something which rarely talks back, I'd much prefer to go back to loving God again because at least I'm rewarded for my impatience. lol

LOL at impatience, that is me as well. I say hi to my twin online knowing he will say hi back and then I will get over excited and write a big long reply and he doesnt reply, so the last time I didnt reply and he sent me a x, so I got the last laugh this time. It is a bit of a game isn't it?