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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Healing

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  #1  
Old 23-05-2018, 02:06 AM
babaji babaji is offline
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what do I freaking do?

im honestly so freaking close to experiencing oneness and true all compassing universal love! my heart is blocked though! i was very badly abused in the past. my heart has built many large walls to defend itself from the abusers attacks. idk how to remove them! one way would be to have a good cry but idk how to get that! ive tried reiki,acupuncture,fasting etc. im starting to think it matters less then modality and moreso the environment the modality is used within... I need to remove these walls of energy so bad! ive tried removing them myself but to no avail! yet!
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  #2  
Old 23-05-2018, 07:07 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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The reason you're unable to release the blockages is because you're trying to force them to be removed. You can tell how desperate you are in your words. It's a real skill, but try to relax with it all and allow your body to heal when it's ready. We're very conditioned to squeeze tight on to emotions in fear of letting them go - this isn't you specifically, this is the human way. It's a mode of protection.

Rest your awareness on your blockages, without any force or pressure, and things will begin to shift. The more wanting and striving you have to remove the blocks, the more resistance you're creating, so you're effectively going in circles.

Relax with it all, it will happen in time. I resonate with you, though, it can be very frustrating.
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  #3  
Old 23-05-2018, 08:21 AM
babaji babaji is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OEN34
The reason you're unable to release the blockages is because you're trying to force them to be removed. You can tell how desperate you are in your words. It's a real skill, but try to relax with it all and allow your body to heal when it's ready. We're very conditioned to squeeze tight on to emotions in fear of letting them go - this isn't you specifically, this is the human way. It's a mode of protection.

Rest your awareness on your blockages, without any force or pressure, and things will begin to shift. The more wanting and striving you have to remove the blocks, the more resistance you're creating, so you're effectively going in circles.

Relax with it all, it will happen in time. I resonate with you, though, it can be very frustrating.
you're definitely right I am soooo desperate, ive been struggling with this for two years now. i try to relax but my body clenches up again. only time it comes out is when my body feels genuinely safe. happened with animals and one person before...
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  #4  
Old 23-05-2018, 08:52 AM
H:O:R:A:C:E H:O:R:A:C:E is offline
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it may be that you can decide how to position yourself in relation to that wall.
rather than imaging that the wall stands between you and unconditional love,
could it be that the wall serves you as a point from which you can reach out
and make contact? you are as free as you allow yourself to be.
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  #5  
Old 23-05-2018, 11:50 AM
Serenity69 Serenity69 is offline
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Try These Meditative Pieces:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU13sdrLQ-M&t=55s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY90loPPLrg
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  #6  
Old 23-05-2018, 02:09 PM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babaji
im honestly so freaking close to experiencing oneness and true all compassing universal love! my heart is blocked though! i was very badly abused in the past. my heart has built many large walls to defend itself from the abusers attacks. idk how to remove them! one way would be to have a good cry but idk how to get that! ive tried reiki,acupuncture,fasting etc. im starting to think it matters less then modality and moreso the environment the modality is used within... I need to remove these walls of energy so bad! ive tried removing them myself but to no avail! yet!
Did the source of universal love abuse you?

What I am driving at, is that I am also a victim of trauma and even though my heart was closed off and I also hit a wall, I realised that what happened to me was the polar opposite of what that oneness could provide and so, all of the trauma, all of the abuse, all of the self-pity and wallowing were only excuses as to why I felt I just didn't deserve it....but I also knew deep down that I could already feel it happening and I was holding it back...not allowing it to flow...so I was fully aware of it, whether I deserved it or not.

Sometimes though, the feelings need a bit of tender, loving coaxing to fully surface into tears...tears of release, tears of anguish, tears of pain, mixed with the most incredible love I have ever felt...it's like all emotions happen at once and you can't control it...and wouldn't want to, even if you could.

It does take quite a bit of surrender or 'letting go' as others have pointed out and sometimes, the total frustration of wanting it to happen but it is not, can lead to tears of frustration which can also start the whole process going. Also, repeat to yourself "it is not my fault" over and over until you believe it. I wish you all the best with love and peace.
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  #7  
Old 24-05-2018, 11:59 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babaji
i try to relax but my body clenches up again. only time it comes out is when my body feels genuinely safe.

I completely feel what you're saying. As I said, your body really doesn't want to let go, it thinks it has been looking after you for decades, protecting you from the pain, and in a way it has, but it is time to step up and you be in the primary position now so it doesn't like it, and it's also carrying on doing it's job.

For me it's a case of resting my awareness wherever there's any emotions or sensations, but it requires infinite patience, which can be the problem!

When the body clenches up, rest your awareness on that, but ever so gently, don't force awareness on it. It will shift, but it will take time. You can't unlearn something that's been in the driving seat for decades, overnight.

Be gentle on yourself and it will shift
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Old 27-05-2018, 04:14 AM
Starman Starman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babaji
im honestly so freaking close to experiencing oneness and true all compassing universal love! my heart is blocked though! i was very badly abused in the past. my heart has built many large walls to defend itself from the abusers attacks. idk how to remove them! one way would be to have a good cry but idk how to get that! ive tried reiki,acupuncture,fasting etc. im starting to think it matters less then modality and moreso the environment the modality is used within... I need to remove these walls of energy so bad! ive tried removing them myself but to no avail! yet!

I have found over the decades that most people who have had tremendous spiritual experiences came out of traumatic backgrounds, and they most often had a lot of childhood abuse. What you call “walls” are actually resistances that we have created against the perceived injustices we have experienced. We build these walls to protect ourselves from past hurts.

The single most thing that is required to dissolve these walls is trust. Trust requires letting go of fear, and while you may not think you are afraid; you built walls out of fear to protect yourself. Protect yourself from the hurt of previous abuse. There is a blessing in this, because you are going into the depths of your being where you have hide things that you prefer to not look at. Places within you that could bring greater light. I commend you for wanting to work on yourself.

Uncovering these things will allow for a fuller, and deeper, spiritual experience, it will also free you from the prison you have built, defenses you have constructed to protect yourself. We all do this depending on our life’s experiences, attitude, etc. There are lots of methods you can use to dissolve this stuff. First, stop thinking of the walls as obstacles, because thinking of them as obstacles will have you opposing them, and that only causes more friction, more resistance.

The resistance is in our mind and our emotions, usually on a subconscious level; and it may even be transferred to our physical body. Write down the quality of your resistance, either with pen and paper or on your computer. What does the resistance feel like, is it sharpe, rage-full, angry at the abuse you experienced, hurtful, painful, fearful, etc. What thoughts come to mind when you think about this wall. Where do you think this wall comes from? Describe it by writing it down. Writing it down will help get it out of you and on paper, it will also give you some insight into the quality of what is holding you back.

You are also going to have to genuinely forgive your abuser, not for their sake but for your sake. Write a letter to them forgiving them, re-read and sit with that letter for a week or two, and see how you feel every time you read it, then ask the universe for help with your forgiveness and then burn the letter. This is a symbolic ritual that helps some people let go. Then write up some affirmations about the way you would like to be in the here and now.

Realistic affirmations that you can believe in, and everyday look in the mirror and say those affirmations to yourself. The thing is getting past this stuff, that you call a wall, is part of your spiritual journey, and letting go of it may take time. Do not expect instant results. Do not judge yourself or measure your progress, live in the moment, as your abuse is in the past and you created this wall because of past events.

Again, trust the spiritual experience, which you have already developed; that is the greatest healer. Understand that often, once we get to know our demons, their quality and why they are there, they transform into angels that can propel us to greater heights. Continually pray and ask your deeper being for help and guidance. If you ask it, your deeper being will give you some ideas on how to get past this. It can help you develop affirmations, etc. But have no expectation of how your deeper being will communicate with you; when we expect something it can blind us to what is already there, and expectations can also take us out of the moment and even cause anxiety. Have patience with yourself.

Peace and Good Journey
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  #9  
Old 27-05-2018, 06:12 AM
Starman Starman is offline
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P.S. Put a cup of either Epsom Salt or Apple Cider Vinegar in your bath water and
take a relaxing bath at least two times weekly, this will help to relax your physical body,
and maybe even help emotionally. Do some stretching exercises, like yoga exercises,
this will also help you relax. You can get ideas on these type of exercises by searching online.
If you have the money, buy a TENS unit (Trans-cutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation)
or buy a good body massage unit, both can help you relax. Caffeine free herbal teas
may also help. Look at your diet and what you are putting in your body and mind, etc.
Develop a healthy program for yourself. A combination of things usually give the best results.
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