I will never deny Him again

When I was a little girl (around 7 years old) I met someone that made a lasting impression on me.

I was playing in the park when a man walking by comes up to me and asks:
"do you beleive in God" I responded to that question with a :"yes" (which I did then and do now)

He gave me a few pocket books that were basically the 4 books of the apostoles surrounding Jesus's life, Mathieu, Mark, Luke and John.

When I got home my mom saw the books :" suspicious she asks me where I got them. I told her and she took the books away from me, read them and gave them back to me.

I then saw this person around a few times. He was always very nice and easy to talk to.

One day (not too long after this) My school wanted to have a meeting with him. Because parents had been complaining about his presence and they were untrusting of him around their children.

As he was in this school meeting, the children knowing he was in there, started destroying his books that he was giving out.

Tearing them apart and throwing them everywhere in the school yard.
When he came out of the meeting (I knew in my heart he had been told to leave) he strated picking up his torn books that were everywhere on the yard.

I was outside the fence looking at him and I had a flash back.

I saw myself in Jesus's time and remembered how most of us did not acknowledge Him in the end because of fear of the Pharisee's or because we were simply too afraid of being humiliated for beleiving in him.

I saw the same thing happen right there in my face.

I wanted to help him, I felt so bad about how the kids behaved thowards him but I was frozen solid.

I could not make myself go and help him because I was afraid.

Looking at him pick up all his torn books, tears started to come down my sheeks and I felt the urge to help him but couldn't. I felt so ashamed of myself for behaving the same way I had in Jesus's time.

I never saw him again.

From then on I vowed that I would NEVER again deny HIS existence.

For some I am a Jesus freak, I am crazy,goluble, imprssionable I don't care what anyone thinks.

I will never deny him again for I know I have done so in the past, far to many times.

[peteyzen]

it obviously made a big impression on you Kpastelle. I think the man knew what he was doing and he probably knew he ran the risk of being turned away, and to be fair, in these times, the authorities have to be careful. I dont think you deinied him, you were simply in a position where you were not old enough to be allowed to show the love you felt for his situation. If there is a lesson here, in this story, for all of us, its that we are now, able to show that love in situations like this.
I would also say this, I believe fervently in god, but if someone put a knife to my throat and said change to my religion, then i would , quite happily, I know god is above all religions and my time here is precious. Sometimes it is ok to go with the flow.

Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't.

I understand the authorities and their decision. He was talking mostly with children and they were only out to protect us. I know he knew that this might happen (asking him to leave) he was not suprised.

What bothered me is my own reaction. I know I was young and afraid of being ridiculed if I helped him.

But there was something so sad in seeing him bending over every step he took to pick up the torn peaces of the books he was giving out spread out thrue the yard.

I wished I was stronger, I wished I didn't care what anyone tought of me helping him but I did.

And that reminded me of that time when jesus faced death and everyone that beleived in him kept silent because of fear. They were not children yet fear paralysed them nonetheless.

Going back to that time when I was a child, I still think even if I would have been an adult, I would have reacted the same way out of fear.

Originally Posted by Kpastelle

I know he knew that this might happen (asking him to leave) he was not suprised.

He knew he made a big mistake by approaching children; he created his own problem & took his consequences as he should have w/guilt & remorse...
Children are open & willing to trust any stranger especially those who approach in a harmless manner...
The parents & authorities rightly protected the children by confronting his disregard for boundaries...

Originally Posted by Kpastelle

What bothered me is my own reaction. I know I was young and afraid of being ridiculed if I helped him.

Appears to me you felt compassion & empathy, this accounts for wanting to fix his hurt feelings that he brought upon himself by challenging social boundaries...
Remember, he was an adult who above all else posed a threat...
It was not the concern of the parents or the authorities to prove he was a good decent man...
It was about maintaining safety & restoring harmony in their community...
Had you defended this stranger, I'm certain you would have upset the adults...
Your parents would have been embarassed in the presence of their peers feeling as if they had not taught you to respect adult decisions as well as how to protect yourself against strangers...
The lesson for children was to learn whom to trust: a well meaning parent or a seemingless harmless stranger?

*If parents want their children to learn religion, they will either teach it or take them to church...
It's their decision, not the right of a stranger to do so for them...*

Originally Posted by Kpastelle

And that reminded me of that time when jesus faced death and everyone that beleived in him kept silent because of fear. They were not children yet fear paralysed them nonetheless.

Going back to that time when I was a child, I still think even if I would have been an adult, I would have reacted the same way out of fear.

The most important issue between the two is you were a child whom the adults wanted to protect from threat &/or harm...
In addition, the stranger was allowed to take his shame & walk away...

Adults risked persecution, the time was not right for people to rise against their "government"...
Strength, courage & gaining support in numbers had to be established beforehand to challenge it...
They needed to learn how to do these; they were/are required lessons needed to advance...
The basics are similar, however, the issues differ & are not on the same level...

Hope this helpsin providing an understanding of two separate issues...

[Clover]

Well,that's a very nice story. Whether what he did was right or wrong on school grounds(and of course I don't agree with it)I think the moral of the story is that he left a lasting and long life impression on you. Sometimes people come into our life to remind of us of our conscious or teach us a lesson on empathy,even if we briefly encounter them. I always admire that.

Today we are in such a different time. I am not even allowed inside my daughter's school when I drop her off(she's in preschool!). Our communities are so heavily monitored and for good reason.There's so much negativity and scary people,especially with the internet blowing up. Trusting strangers is a very difficult thing right now,which is really sad.

Originally Posted by Kpastelle

When I was a little girl (around 7 years old) I met someone that made a lasting impression on me.

I was playing in the park when a man walking by comes up to me and asks:
"do you beleive in God" I responded to that question with a :"yes" (which I did then and do now)

He gave me a few pocket books that were basically the 4 books of the apostoles surrounding Jesus's life, Mathieu, Mark, Luke and John.

When I got home my mom saw the books :" suspicious she asks me where I got them. I told her and she took the books away from me, read them and gave them back to me.

I then saw this person around a few times. He was always very nice and easy to talk to.

One day (not too long after this) My school wanted to have a meeting with him. Because parents had been complaining about his presence and they were untrusting of him around their children.

As he was in this school meeting, the children knowing he was in there, started destroying his books that he was giving out.

Tearing them apart and throwing them everywhere in the school yard.
When he came out of the meeting (I knew in my heart he had been told to leave) he strated picking up his torn books that were everywhere on the yard.

I was outside the fence looking at him and I had a flash back.

I saw myself in Jesus's time and remembered how most of us did not acknowledge Him in the end because of fear of the Pharisee's or because we were simply too afraid of being humiliated for beleiving in him.

I saw the same thing happen right there in my face.

I wanted to help him, I felt so bad about how the kids behaved thowards him but I was frozen solid.

I could not make myself go and help him because I was afraid.

Looking at him pick up all his torn books, tears started to come down my sheeks and I felt the urge to help him but couldn't. I felt so ashamed of myself for behaving the same way I had in Jesus's time.

I never saw him again.

From then on I vowed that I would NEVER again deny HIS existence.

For some I am a Jesus freak, I am crazy,goluble, imprssionable I don't care what anyone thinks.

I will never deny him again for I know I have done so in the past, far to many times.

Originally Posted by Kpastelle

When I was a little girl (around 7 years old) I met someone that made a lasting impression on me.

I was playing in the park when a man walking by comes up to me and asks:
"do you beleive in God" I responded to that question with a :"yes" (which I did then and do now)

He gave me a few pocket books that were basically the 4 books of the apostoles surrounding Jesus's life, Mathieu, Mark, Luke and John.

When I got home my mom saw the books :" suspicious she asks me where I got them. I told her and she took the books away from me, read them and gave them back to me.

I then saw this person around a few times. He was always very nice and easy to talk to.

One day (not too long after this) My school wanted to have a meeting with him. Because parents had been complaining about his presence and they were untrusting of him around their children.

As he was in this school meeting, the children knowing he was in there, started destroying his books that he was giving out.

Tearing them apart and throwing them everywhere in the school yard.
When he came out of the meeting (I knew in my heart he had been told to leave) he strated picking up his torn books that were everywhere on the yard.

I was outside the fence looking at him and I had a flash back.

I saw myself in Jesus's time and remembered how most of us did not acknowledge Him in the end because of fear of the Pharisee's or because we were simply too afraid of being humiliated for beleiving in him.

I saw the same thing happen right there in my face.

I wanted to help him, I felt so bad about how the kids behaved thowards him but I was frozen solid.

I could not make myself go and help him because I was afraid.

Looking at him pick up all his torn books, tears started to come down my sheeks and I felt the urge to help him but couldn't. I felt so ashamed of myself for behaving the same way I had in Jesus's time.

I never saw him again.

From then on I vowed that I would NEVER again deny HIS existence.

For some I am a Jesus freak, I am crazy,goluble, imprssionable I don't care what anyone thinks.

I will never deny him again for I know I have done so in the past, far to many times.

That sort of restraint might not have been your doing, and it might have happened by necessity for some reason.

The fact that you wanted to go to him suggests that you would have, and the fact that you could not do what you wanted to seems like a supernatural force was present.

Could it have been a "lesson" for the man?

Originally Posted by Kpastelle

When I was a little girl (around 7 years old) I met someone that made a lasting impression on me.

I was playing in the park when a man walking by comes up to me and asks:
"do you beleive in God" I responded to that question with a :"yes" (which I did then and do now)

He gave me a few pocket books that were basically the 4 books of the apostoles surrounding Jesus's life, Mathieu, Mark, Luke and John.

When I got home my mom saw the books :" suspicious she asks me where I got them. I told her and she took the books away from me, read them and gave them back to me.

I then saw this person around a few times. He was always very nice and easy to talk to.

One day (not too long after this) My school wanted to have a meeting with him. Because parents had been complaining about his presence and they were untrusting of him around their children.

As he was in this school meeting, the children knowing he was in there, started destroying his books that he was giving out.

Tearing them apart and throwing them everywhere in the school yard.
When he came out of the meeting (I knew in my heart he had been told to leave) he strated picking up his torn books that were everywhere on the yard.

I was outside the fence looking at him and I had a flash back.

I saw myself in Jesus's time and remembered how most of us did not acknowledge Him in the end because of fear of the Pharisee's or because we were simply too afraid of being humiliated for beleiving in him.

I saw the same thing happen right there in my face.

I wanted to help him, I felt so bad about how the kids behaved thowards him but I was frozen solid.

I could not make myself go and help him because I was afraid.

Looking at him pick up all his torn books, tears started to come down my sheeks and I felt the urge to help him but couldn't. I felt so ashamed of myself for behaving the same way I had in Jesus's time.

I never saw him again.

From then on I vowed that I would NEVER again deny HIS existence.

For some I am a Jesus freak, I am crazy,goluble, imprssionable I don't care what anyone thinks.

I will never deny him again for I know I have done so in the past, far to many times.

Thats beautiful. The 10 Gurus from Guru Nanak to Guru Gobind Singh Ji were persecuted by muslims. Some were tortured for refusing to accept Islam. Some of their followers loved Truth so much that they were sawn in two, their scalps chopped off, put through wheels with spikes etc.

They were put through such tests but didnt betray the Truth. Other followers were cowards and left the battlefield, sold out thier teachers, followers, children out of fear or lust for money/power.

Hats off to u for learning from your past mistakes and becoming more fearless and true loving- for true love is sticking by the truth through good and bad.

[Seawolf]

If an adult man is going to hang around a school and schoolchildren, they should first get permission from the school. Otherwise, yeah, it's pretty weird.

[linen53]

It's impossible to compare you the child with you the adult. As children we are taught to be seen and not heard and to obey our elders. And as a child you did not have the reasoning ability of an adult.

Love the child that had the tender spot in her heart for the man and his bible tracts, but let the guilt go. The child did the best she could do under the circumstances.