What I saw in a dream

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Colorado: ...my feelings do control much of what I choose to experience

without meaning to sound argumentative, i think perhaps that you've chosen
to allow your emotions to have the deciding vote in certain circumstances.
i doubt that emotions have the capacity for choice making; and logic also
seems to lack that skill. instinctual behavior circumvents choice making.
choice appears to be a function of Will to my best understanding of things.

[Colorado]

[quote=H:O:R:A:C:E]without meaning to sound argumentative, i think perhaps that you've chosen
to allow your emotions to have the deciding vote in certain circumstances.
i doubt that emotions have the capacity for choice making; and logic also
seems to lack that skill. instinctual behavior circumvents choice making.
choice appears to be a function of Will to my best understanding of things.[/QUOTE. So people don't use their emotions when making choices? That's a new concept to me, lol. I can assure you, Emotions defiantly play into making choices. Anyways, I'm done with this thread now.

[Michelle11]

Emotions are very strong influencers. They are generally there as tools to help us navigate the world but when we get stuck in the negative ones it can definitely color our decision making. If we were not taught good coping skills to manage our emotions our decision making will be influenced more by our emotions than our logic. It matters not that we do not want it to be so and would like to make different decision they do hold us hostage sometimes. I am discovering that to some degree they act as protection in a lot of ways. For fear of the child so to speak. Though I see my emotions as a huge burden sometimes they also are covering up a deep sense of insecurity and lack of confidence. Without them I may need to put myself out there and I do not feel prepared to in some ways. This change of view helped me to stop identifying with my emotions. Seeing them in and of themselves as a reflection of who I was. They aren't necessarily a sign that I am no good at life just that I fear life. A big difference. But it took a lot of self reflection to pull all the layers back and sort it out. Sort out what feelings, emotions and thoughts were defining me, where they came from and how to clear them. It is a process that takes time but they are all integral in making up the whole of our human psyche and the kind of experiences we will have and attract in this world.

In any event, I just came across a teaching on self acceptance. If we do not have self acceptance it means a part of us is actively in self rejection or feeling as though there is something wrong with us that needs fixing. This causes us to fall into a pattern of self judgment and comparing ourselves with a good/bad, right/wrong lens based on some ideal self. An ideal self that really can never be achieved because we are in the trap of comparing our self and progress to gauge if we have or have not yet improved. So gaining self acceptance is not simply the act of stopping our judgments to stop the self rejection. It is centered on the idea that we are not broken in any way in the first place. That our soul does not need fixing, it is already whole. That the act of engaging in self improvement pursuits itself actually keeps us rooted in judgment and comparison. Our soul is perfect, our human psyche is simply mistaken. To fix ourselves is not a matter of self improvement but simply a matter of finding clarity that we were never broken in the first place. We may have to clear out some beliefs we took on from our families or life experiences but none of what we see with our human minds or bodies does affect the purity of our soul.

As someone who has spent her whole life trying to get better, be a better person, find that thing that will set my life right I was blown away by what I was being told. The simple act of trying to improve myself was keeping me in the mindset that there was something wrong with me when there wasn't. I know that it is partly because I was always trying to not make a mistake and become criticized by my father but I turned it into this whole other pursuit to become enlightened when self acceptance is saying that we don't need enlightenment, we just need a clearing of the thoughts that cause us to believe that we are not already enlightened. Not that I am going to go and throw out the multitude of self help books I have acquired along the way. They have some great wisdom in them but that I don't have to define myself as broken anymore because I struggle with my emotions and have depression. I Am simply someone who needs to clear out some unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve me so that I can see and experience my true essence which was always there, hiding behind the clouds so to speak.

I think in a lot of ways we come into earthly life identifying with the different parts of us, our bodies, our accomplishments, our status in life, our sex, creed, religion. Just about everything is fair game even our thoughts and feelings. But though our thoughts and emotions drive us, they are not who we really are. And so the saying we are a soul having a human experience has taken on new meaning for me and I choose now to identify with my soul and see my thoughts and feelings as simply something to be used and dealt with.