Seeking Gods love from others

[little.nation]

Originally Posted by Wally

of course I am.
I wasnt suggesting I am better than anyone else on here.

I think we all make a decision that a glimpse of God's love is better than nothing. or even of his wrath.

Most of us are attention seekers. We seek attention whether it be negative or positive. We settle for attention which is not exactly love, is it? Well yes it is a kind of diluted version of it. We want validation that we exist.

Lonely people need validation first. Love is a bonus.

I loved someone, and there was a clear distinct feeling of unconditional love. This person pretty much hated me, or just really did not like me and the way things were but the love I had for him was so real. I didn't love anybody else like that. This was someone I had never met, had never seen and did not know. I loved him passionately. He was incredibly important to me.

We met, and I was devastated by the condition he was in and the condition he was living in. I burst into tears and I cried hard.

He believed that he was nobody anybody should be interested in. After we met, I understood why he believed that. He the sort of person who would be judged harshly by others. While I was devastated, it did not change my love for him.

It occurred to me that through me, and through my love for him, he was being shown acceptance and forgiveness and love. It was real. And that's why it counts. I was not loving him because he needed it and I was doing him some favor or service. I loved him because I loved him and it was natural and real and true.

I still love him and always will but we are resolved.

That's the thing with love: the unconditional.

How can anyone know unconditional love if they're in great condition? You have to have some hardship or unworthy thing to know unconditional love.

The man I loved helped to support me through a year and a half of absolute unbearable, intolerable Hell. He might not have wanted to, he did not set out to and didn't have to do anything much more than simply EXIST. Even though it was me loving him all that time and not the other way around, that love was off the charts crucial and vital to my ability to endure the unendurable. He will always be a hero to me, I do not take it for granted. Me loving him was something of a burden to him, so he was suffering with me.

Anyway, if people were more loving that would be good. I think that's what God wants.

[Wally]

Originally Posted by little.nation

I loved someone, and there was a clear distinct feeling of unconditional love. This person pretty much hated me, or just really did not like me and the way things were but the love I had for him was so real. I didn't love anybody else like that. This was someone I had never met, had never seen and did not know. I loved him passionately. He was incredibly important to me.

We met, and I was devastated by the condition he was in and the condition he was living in. I burst into tears and I cried hard.

He believed that he was nobody anybody should be interested in. After we met, I understood why he believed that. He the sort of person who would be judged harshly by others. While I was devastated, it did not change my love for him.

It occurred to me that through me, and through my love for him, he was being shown acceptance and forgiveness and love. It was real. And that's why it counts. I was not loving him because he needed it and I was doing him some favor or service. I loved him because I loved him and it was natural and real and true.

I still love him and always will but we are resolved.

That's the thing with love: the unconditional.

How can anyone know unconditional love if they're in great condition? You have to have some hardship or unworthy thing to know unconditional love.

The man I loved helped to support me through a year and a half of absolute unbearable, intolerable Hell. He might not have wanted to, he did not set out to and didn't have to do anything much more than simply EXIST. Even though it was me loving him all that time and not the other way around, that love was off the charts crucial and vital to my ability to endure the unendurable. He will always be a hero to me, I do not take it for granted. Me loving him was something of a burden to him, so he was suffering with me.

Anyway, if people were more loving that would be good. I think that's what God wants.

Easily your best post so far. Very well written. youve got some really profound original insights there

[little.nation]

Originally Posted by Wally

Easily your best post so far. Very well written. youve got some really profound original insights there

I would not have been able to produce it without the opportunity you provided. There was something you said in one of your replies that made it surface. Glimpse and attention, those were the words in the way you wrote them.

I suppose that man I told you about is how I was able to glimpse that sort of love, even if I was not the one being loved. I still got to see it.

I should tell you the Jesus doppelganger story. It is about another sort of love.

There's a man in my neighborhood who picks cans and bottles out of the trash and dumpsters. I remember the first time we interacted. I pick cans and bottles too but I always walked the streets and train tracks and grassy areas off the sides of the roads to find the containers. One day, I'm at the redemption machines and he's there. He got mad at me for no reason and began yelling at me. I snapped back at him but after I walked away I thought about him. He has a very severe speech impediment and is almost completely unintelligible when he speaks. I wasn't angry at him. I cared about him.

Some time later, months or whatever it was, after years of suffering pretty severe suicidality, I was ready. I happened to see him that night and so I went up to him and gave him my last $20. He yelled at me and said "no want! no want!" but I snapped at him and told him to take it. I went home and committed suicide by poisoning (which was brutal beyond brutal). I survived because of medical intervention.

Anyway, last summer I had graduated to trash barrels and dumpsters. I wasn't thrilled to be doing it but what really, really, really, really bothered me is the worry that I was taking money away from Polly. It caused me a lot of restless turmoil. He's out there on his bike every single day, in any weather. It just really bothered me to think I was taking money away from him.

One night I'm walking down the street, thinking about Polly. A man on a bike was coming toward me. He looked directly at me as he was passing by and we made eye contact. Wally, that man was 100% Jesus. He looked completely, totally, exactly like Jesus.

I never touched another barrel or dumpster. I stopped picking cans and bottles.

So why did the man who looks like Jesus (I call him a Jesus doppelganger) appear to me?

Because my concern was not selfish. My concern was about somebody else. And it was a genuine thing. I really do care about Polly.

As for myself, HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I'm ready to eat dirt.