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  #1  
Old 23-03-2019, 11:01 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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How to help a Capri?

My son's a Capri, moon Gemini, and going through a difficult time. I don't know how to be able to help him. He doesn't open up, not able to let out and work through his emotions and feelings in a healthy way.
If you want to talk to him, it easily feels like (s)mothering to him, and being typical Capri, he'll get very stubborn if you do, withdraws even more. If you keep trying, he'll get PO.

I just read that Gemini moon also isn't great at dealing with and expressing emotions. Great!

How can you deal with that better? Support him, maybe get him to open up a bit more? How can you do that without rattling his Capri-cage?
He's an adult btw, 28.
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  #2  
Old 24-03-2019, 12:15 AM
BlaséStrannik BlaséStrannik is offline
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Hi FairyCrystal,

Star sign aside,your son needs to find his own answers within at this difficult point in time.

Give him space and time to ruminate and process and just let it be known,that your here if need be.

Don't concern yourself and get on with your life and let your son work things out for himself.

Perhaps leave some books out that may catch his eye such as Eg: 'Alchemy of the Heart','Ego states' and last but not least 'The mind can heal you'.

Like you said 'He's an adult',prying and constantly inquiring is perhaps making him feel like a child and can't think for himself nor deal with his own issues.

Give him some space and time out,things will work out as they should be.

Good luck.: )
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  #3  
Old 24-03-2019, 07:06 AM
Akira Akira is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FairyCrystal
My son's a Capri, moon Gemini, and going through a difficult time. I don't know how to be able to help him. He doesn't open up, not able to let out and work through his emotions and feelings in a healthy way.
If you want to talk to him, it easily feels like (s)mothering to him, and being typical Capri, he'll get very stubborn if you do, withdraws even more. If you keep trying, he'll get PO.

I just read that Gemini moon also isn't great at dealing with and expressing emotions. Great!

How can you deal with that better? Support him, maybe get him to open up a bit more? How can you do that without rattling his Capri-cage?
He's an adult btw, 28.

I am going to be honest, all he needs are these few words. I am always here if you want to talk about anything. No advice etc until he has given you the green light and honestly if he needs to talk he will. Capricorn's are interesting like this, they are kind and warm and funny, oh and yes stubborn. Yet, they need to be given the space to feel as if they are making the move, they are initiating the help.

Of course his ascendant etc, will also play into this, yet Capricorn boys want to be resilient, they want to be relied on mostly, rather than rely on others. It's also a core trait with a Cappy, they sometimes need help, yet they don't want to be seen to need that help.

Internally he may struggle with his grief, yet his main needs will always be knowing that if he really needs to talk to someone you will be there.
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  #4  
Old 24-03-2019, 07:32 AM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
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At age 28 I bet he is beginning to go through his Saturn return. which is actually in Capricorn funnily enough lol so since that is his Sun sign and also the planet that rules Capricorn it may be extra strong.. however, it could also mean that he has his ducks lined in a row and he won't have to deal with too much upheaval if he's already been learning lessons. But his Saturn might not be in Capricorn, it is either there or in Aquarius.
If it's in Aquarius then it has to do with issues of finding identity in a more spiritual and worldly sense, as well as the balance between community and individualism and the marriage of those two. I'll talk about it in Capricorn though, sorry if it's not but even so the Capricorn energies are reflected by his Sun being there so it could be similar issues. His problems now don't have to be Saturn Return related, but it's probably at least part of the trials and tribulations he's facing, or going to face.


yeah I've heard Gemini has a detached tendency in a different way than Capricorn, but that is an interesting combination. I think it should be helpful to keep him more imaginative yet grounding that Gemini air energy. I like Akira's and Blase's advice though of course if it was me I would want to meddle more lol but that probably wouldn't be wise.

I do think it might be worthwhile to try a remote healing on your son to help him, or also help you deal with the stressful emotional situation. I would suggest looking into EFT, and surrogate tapping where you can do it on yourself on his behalf, and I am not entirely sure what the universe would say, but I think it is one of those remote healings that it's ok to do it without letting the person know you are. that is up to you though, and if you feel like trying it out without potentially impeding on him, you can just do it on yourself about how you feel in regards to him. and doing that change on yourself could open up doorways for him to realize you're there for him if he needs you or let him know that he can use you in a positive beneficial way and nobody will be worse off because of it.


In addition to the Moon you can look at his Venus to see how he also feels in a large way. and Mercury to see how his mind works, which all can be incorporated into deeper understanding.


As for the Saturn return, which everyone goes through when Saturn returns to where it was when we were born, around ages 28-30, everyone born in that year or two has the same Saturn sign, so looking at the house it's in will give further insight and show you where the issues he's dealing with are most likely to arise. but off the top of my head I think that a Capricorn Saturn Return has to do with him finding his identity in the world, being concerned with success and being respected, what he's building and giving to the world that can help him evolve too. It has to do with authority and business, tangible evidence of who he is and what he has to offer. Capricorn isn't void of emotion or sensitivity, but it does want to be taken seriously. which solidifies the validity of the advice given in this thread already to just let him know you are there for him. If you are drawn to doing the EFT at all then that could be a way of letting the Universe know that you are there for him too and clear any channels he might be inclined to travel to come to you.. cuz of course if it was my child I would definitely want to be involved and help comfort them and help if there was any other way I could. it's good to trust the Universe but I think sometimes it appreciates us giving it a sign that we're here and willing
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  #5  
Old 24-03-2019, 11:11 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlaséStrannik
Hi FairyCrystal,

Star sign aside,your son needs to find his own answers within at this difficult point in time.

Give him space and time to ruminate and process and just let it be known,that your here if need be.

Don't concern yourself and get on with your life and let your son work things out for himself.

Perhaps leave some books out that may catch his eye such as Eg: 'Alchemy of the Heart','Ego states' and last but not least 'The mind can heal you'.

Like you said 'He's an adult',prying and constantly inquiring is perhaps making him feel like a child and can't think for himself nor deal with his own issues.

Give him some space and time out,things will work out as they should be.

Good luck.: )
Thank you. I'm not interested in prying or pushing. Whether or not you get involved with an adult child depends on the situation, how they're coping, or not. Sometimes someone needs a kick up the rear end. I'm just not sure if that's what would work with a Capri or if a different approach would be better, hence my question.
At the moment he's not coping at all. And I know he'll have to find the strength on the inside, doesn't mean you then leave someone to drown when they are failing at that.
Sometimes someone needs a hand to pull them above water so that they then can begin to swim by themselves again.
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  #6  
Old 24-03-2019, 11:17 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akira
I am going to be honest, all he needs are these few words. I am always here if you want to talk about anything. No advice etc until he has given you the green light and honestly if he needs to talk he will. Capricorn's are interesting like this, they are kind and warm and funny, oh and yes stubborn. Yet, they need to be given the space to feel as if they are making the move, they are initiating the help.

Of course his ascendant etc, will also play into this, yet Capricorn boys want to be resilient, they want to be relied on mostly, rather than rely on others. It's also a core trait with a Cappy, they sometimes need help, yet they don't want to be seen to need that help.

Internally he may struggle with his grief, yet his main needs will always be knowing that if he really needs to talk to someone you will be there.
Thank you for that info!
I think you're spot on when it comes to asking for and accepting help.
So in a way like turning it around that I need to know a bit more to feel good, making it about me and not him?
You know that what you explain about them and help is the typical way men in general are with that? Difficulty and feeling emasculated when they ask for help, advice, directions etc.
So this is maybe enhanced in Capri males?
Pfff... why are men so difficult!? Kind of funny that normally they're quite direct, not subtle, unlike women, but when it comes to these things it's the other way around?

Anywho, thank you! Food for thought.
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  #7  
Old 24-03-2019, 11:38 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphirez
At age 28 I bet he is beginning to go through his Saturn return. which is actually in Capricorn funnily enough lol so since that is his Sun sign and also the planet that rules Capricorn it may be extra strong.. however, it could also mean that he has his ducks lined in a row and he won't have to deal with too much upheaval if he's already been learning lessons. But his Saturn might not be in Capricorn, it is either there or in Aquarius.
If it's in Aquarius then it has to do with issues of finding identity in a more spiritual and worldly sense, as well as the balance between community and individualism and the marriage of those two. I'll talk about it in Capricorn though, sorry if it's not but even so the Capricorn energies are reflected by his Sun being there so it could be similar issues. His problems now don't have to be Saturn Return related, but it's probably at least part of the trials and tribulations he's facing, or going to face.
Indeed his is in Capricorn... It's full on next year Feb - Oct.
He's had a lot of pain in the past concerning father figures, including his own father. I don't think he's ever dealt with that. I don't think he knows how to. Unfortunately he's father is still no good when it comes to raising & helping a child :(
Then there was my ex partner, his stepfather, abusive narcissist. Not a good male role model.
What then happened is my son fell hook line and sinker for the extremely toxic stepfather of his partner. A man who was doing and dealing drugs, alcohol and so on, and who filled his mind with all kinds of ridiculous stuff. Hard to believe the man claims to be a Buddhist. That lasted for 7 years! Only 4 months ago he broke it off with that man, fed up with it. But... he's seen him again last week :(
That always told me my son is desperately looking for a reliable father figure. So he hasn't dealt with that wound yet.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphirez
I do think it might be worthwhile to try a remote healing on your son to help him, or also help you deal with the stressful emotional situation.
I've been thinking about that too. So far I've burnt candles with Mary, rose quartz and intuitively drawn oracle cards from my Ascended Masters deck with it, asking them and the Cosmos to help my son in a way he will and can accept.
I never force a healing on someone by doing it without their consent. Then I do it that way, I know that is allowed: send them energy that is 'programmed' to only help and/or enter their system if they or their HS allows it. That way it is readily available but it is still up to him and/or his HS to actually accept it.

I agree sometimes you have to let the Universe and Angels know you want them to mediate/help. They're not allowed to interfere.
I'll do what I described above :) It's that I've been really ill and in lots of pain for weeks due to an infected tooth, otherwise I likely would already have done so. The tooth got treated last Friday so I'm feeling better again now. I didn't have the energy before, not for anything, then it's not good to do a healing. Not for him, not for me either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapphirez
In addition to the Moon you can look at his Venus to see how he also feels in a large way. and Mercury to see how his mind works, which all can be incorporated into deeper understanding.
Good one! His Venus is in... Capri, doh. He's Leo rising. According to the net, his Mercury (Rx) is in Sagittarius. Hmmm, dunno if the Merc Rx creates a different effect? But I take it it makes expressing yourself more difficult?

Thank you for your help and the wealth of info!! Appreciate it a lot!
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  #8  
Old 24-03-2019, 12:10 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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I wish to thank you all for your help! It's truly wonderful there's people online who do that.
I appreciate it a lot!
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  #9  
Old 26-03-2019, 01:08 AM
Sapphirez Sapphirez is offline
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I'm glad to be able to offer any insight, thank you for appreciating and that's great you've already considered and done a lot before and while posting here.


yeah I understand about teeth issues and also not feeling right attempting healings and such when you're not feeling well. hopefully you are well on your way but in case it can be helpful, a couple things I read recently from people dealing with teeth issues were one using a salt gargle after the dentist (make sure it is pure salt of course), and another idea is using essential oils for their antiseptic, analgesic, and healing properties. or also there's a lot of praise for the effects of oil pulling, usually with coconut oil which you could even add salt or essential oils to when you gargle or swish with it. apparently oil pulling has effects throughout the whole body and brain too, which makes sense if oil draws out toxins and the mouth is so connected to the brain and bloodstream and everything.



lol ok more Capricorn energy there.. at least we know his Capricorn energy can be very powerful since he has its ruling planet in the sign with the other planets.
Mercury in Sagittarius is an interesting one, I need to learn more about it because my daughter has that placement, and so does my sister who was born on the same day. At least Sagittarius energy is more loose and adventurous or imaginative than Capricorn. not that our purpose here is to fault Capricorn lol just saying it hopefully lightens that up, and the Sun ruled Leo sign rising certainly will too! But the thing about each of these 3 signs is they really do guard their independence and have possible pride issues.
I think the retrograde probably would make his Sagittarius Mercury less headstrong and a bit more mindful. not sure but that is my guess


At the same time though you can keep that in mind for your advantage. Something about Leo that has stuck with me, is that it is gregarious and generous, but it likes to be appreciated. I'm not sure how that melds with the other Astrological influences of his chart (btw what is Mars?) but I think Leo is an innocent sign and energy that just wants to be shine and seen, and benefit others with its bright light. Ideally if they feel appreciated and actualized enough there won't be risk of it turning into egoic energy. but the history of males in his life is obviously important to keep considered here. that is sad I'm sorry. My dad wasn't father of the year either but I ended up knowing him enough, hanging out with him more in the end. and coming to appreciate and understand him more and how he was misunderstood, etc.. So hopefully your son can someday see his father as human but be able to recognize the soul that was just a bit too bogged down and soiled to show itself more lol.. it can help us not repeat the same mistakes, or help us see how we could change to make sure we don't. and I think it can make us more compassionate and understanding.. but I know it hurts and I am not a male so the father has a different influence on me as a female of course. either way it is a shame but it can make him stronger, and yeah hopefully by the time his Saturn return is underway he'll deal with this appropriately. I wasn't even thinking about how Capricorn is connected to fathers and male authority figures, glad you brought it up.
well I'm real sorry he saw that fake buddhist guy again. I hope it is going to end up being for closure! is that the main reason that you suspect your son is not doing too well, or is it his general disposition and other behaviors?

I feel like it would be worthwhile to keep his Leo Ascendant in mind and try to appeal to that and remember that beautiful sunshiny energy that is ingrained in his being. oh where is his North Node? did you read the article for his on that awesome site you shared?
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Old 26-03-2019, 11:37 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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His North Node is in... Capri, haha.
Mars Rx in Taurus
I have a book that tells about Venus, Mars, Moon in all the signs, but not Rx.
Male Mars in Taurus = hate to waste time, EXTREMELY independent (so again that comes up!!) and usually very goal oriented. They have a tangible sexuality, regardless of sun sign.

You mentioned Leo needing/wanting to be appreciated... that could make it all the harder to have someone break up with you. The shadow Leo has a very sensitive ego, insecure.
Also male Capri likely wanting to be a caretaker, maybe a sense of falling short?

In any case I don't think the easiest signs to deal with a breakup.

I have begun to send another message to the Universe and him. One that is far more in alignment and way more powerful: the knowing & belief that he is strong and can handle it, that he is whole and so on.
In a way sending healing and asking for support to please pretty please help him is sending out the message I believe he cannot/will not handle it. That will only make this energy stronger. Even though meant well, it is worry energy.
It does mean I really have to feel he can and see him as strong and so on, otherwise it won't work of course. You cannot fool the Universe.

Thank you for all your new info!
I didn't know Capri was connected to fathers and male authority figures! Wow... explains why he chose to be born with his father and with that sun sign. Amazing!
I think it's some family Karma: his father was that way because his own father was an extremely manipulative, abusive man, I suspect a narcissist. He in turn was that way because of his parents.

I'll have to look for that North node link again. I think here it has disappeared since they only allow some 8 topics, such a shame. But I think -and hope- I put it in my favorites.

Thank you!
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