Difference between loving someone and caring for them

[scoobawater]

Is there a difference, romantically-speaking? Is one 'greater' than the other? Can you have one without the other? My initial thinking is that love signifies something deeper, but sometimes when it comes to romantic relationships, love can just be about desire and wants...so perhaps care goes deeper?

That is a good question. I guess the difference between loving and caring is:

In CARING for someone, you wouldn't want to give your WHOLE self to the person you are caring for. You love them but not intimately.

In LOVE, You give your whole self to that person in desire to be one with that person. Caring is included in this.

So... In caring, you want to take care of part of the other person
In loving, you want to BE part of the other person.

Does that make any sense at all?

[ROM]

Caring for someone is indeed a strong form of love. Love is not just defined by what we feel biologically for another human being we're attracted to; it runs deeper. You are giving of yourself unselfishly to help and support another; this is love in its purest form.

MRDazzle, that is a good way to put it. Here are a few ideas that relate to caring, as I've been thinking about this subject lately. I think caring is what is often left (if you're lucky) after the love is gone from a committed relationship. Especially if the relationship ended horribly. Caring is what you can feel generally about a lot of different people. You may even care about the homeless man on the street. Caring is, I love you, but I am not in love with you. I think caring can go under Agape, one of the purest loves, but not the love between two partners.

I was mulling over this in my mind lately. I am whole the way I am, so if Love doesn't come my way again, if I don't have someone to join, marry with, it's ok to stay alone and whole. I can still do God's work, married or alone (which, by the way, the most perfect love, between soul mates, is the Love to serve others.

Originally Posted by Celeste

if I don't have someone to join, marry with, it's ok to stay alone and whole. I can still do God's work, married or alone (which, by the way, the most perfect love, between soul mates, is the Love to serve others.

Sounds to me like you are taking the time to love and care for yourself. Yes you are a whole beautiful human being! Complete and one with yourself. That is the best place to start.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Celeste

MRDazzle, that is a good way to put it. Here are a few ideas that relate to caring, as I've been thinking about this subject lately. I think caring is what is often left (if you're lucky) after the love is gone from a committed relationship. Especially if the relationship ended horribly. Caring is what you can feel generally about a lot of different people. You may even care about the homeless man on the street. Caring is, I love you, but I am not in love with you. I think caring can go under Agape, one of the purest loves, but not the love between two partners.

I was mulling over this in my mind lately. I am whole the way I am, so if Love doesn't come my way again, if I don't have someone to join, marry with, it's ok to stay alone and whole. I can still do God's work, married or alone (which, by the way, the most perfect love, between soul mates, is the Love to serve others.

A beautiful response...in both parts

Insensitive1, love without caring is lust (nicely put) but what is caring without love, in your opinion? Agape?

Good question... I think it depends on how someone cares.

Sometimes people who care will tell you what to do, how to do it, etc., because they care for you, they think it's what's best for you.
In this case I think it can take the form of something that only looks like love. An example if you control your partner's decision on what job to take, what things to eat, what to wear, etc., because they "care". Sometimes that's okay but if it gets to the point of being overbearing or suffocating I think it's no longer love.

Sometimes people who care, their "love" will easily fall out if that other person ceases to comply.

It's a pretty confusing and huge topic with a lot of perspectives I guess.

[7luminaries]

Originally Posted by Sybilline

Good question... I think it depends on how someone cares.

Sometimes people who care will tell you what to do, how to do it, etc., because they care for you, they think it's what's best for you.
In this case I think it can take the form of something that only looks like love. An example if you control your partner's decision on what job to take, what things to eat, what to wear, etc., because they "care". Sometimes that's okay but if it gets to the point of being overbearing or suffocating I think it's no longer love.

Sometimes people who care, their "love" will easily fall out if that other person ceases to comply.

It's a pretty confusing and huge topic with a lot of perspectives I guess.

Very true...and I love your quote about being in the mystery ;)

But isn't love just a higher form of caring? Even if they are different, I don't think you can love someone without caring for them. Love without caring to me is just lust.