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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #1  
Old 13-01-2018, 08:00 AM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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My soulmate question/issue...

This is my first post on this soulmate/twinflame forum.
I haven't seriously dated anyone for long time cos of my past.
Last year I made a big progress in my spiritual growth and I encountered something too.It gives me a question on soulmate.

Started from a close friend recently stopped talking to me. He and me on a same study group and we r so aligned in the vibration and helping each other also helping others,since he is much younger I v been setting boundary and careful in approaching some sensitive topics. but finally he still told me that he wanted a closer relationship and I told him I just like being an elder sister.

It is not that I don't like him. I do like him and I can feel we had a connection long long before this life. But he is way too much younger and I don't know how to handle this and many other things related too....

This let me think what I really want? where to find my real soulmate in this life?

This is not the first time I encountered a close one....I v met similar situations and even deeper and broke my heart that we couldn't be together for this or that realistic reasons.

My question is, is universe testing me for a lesson and what is it? if not a joke?
it actually makes me sad that this kind of thing keeps happening.....
what is the real purpose for us human to stay here on earth?

I m an old soul, been back on earth many times,
besides, as I keep healing I keep opening heart I feel that I no longer see males as my enemy, I see more and more beauty in them, and it is also horrible I feel I m a universalist , I feel I actually can love all of them......
everyone is a potential soulmate......

some may say, yes, every man is our brother, but soulmate is only one.
but what is the difference?
brother and soulmate r not much different for me....

what shall I do?

sorry for the long story and a bit emotional....
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  #2  
Old 13-01-2018, 10:12 AM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Why are you restricting a connection based on an age difference between you both?

If a connection is strong and you feel it is from a soul level, then go get it!
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  #3  
Old 13-01-2018, 10:52 AM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OEN34
Why are you restricting a connection based on an age difference between you both?

If a connection is strong and you feel it is from a soul level, then go get it!
It's a big age difference, he in 20s and I m much elder, most feelings towards him is a brother , but I know in past lives we were a couple.

I feel I can handle a small age difference, but a big difference is difficult cos realistically the life experieces and health situation of me is not very good, either, lots realistic reasons.....and this is such a realistic earth which makes me sad too , I can do nothing to change the earth dimention, I don't like the earth.

so I don't feel hurt by losing him as a lover cos we didn't start a relationship yet, I feel hurt cos I m hurting his feelings.....:(

I m also empath.

and so, when I think more and as time goes, I realize I can actually relate to everyone, I can love everyone,
that is why I m confusing now if I really have such" a particular soulmate".
I feel everyone who come closer or sent by universe is a potential soulmate....

do u understand my current thinking?
maybe my mind is insane.
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  #4  
Old 13-01-2018, 12:51 PM
QT Pie QT Pie is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 779
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
It's a big age difference, he in 20s and I m much elder, most feelings towards him is a brother , but I know in past lives we were a couple.

I feel I can handle a small age difference, but a big difference is difficult cos realistically the life experieces and health situation of me is not very good, either, lots realistic reasons.....and this is such a realistic earth which makes me sad too , I can do nothing to change the earth dimention, I don't like the earth.

so I don't feel hurt by losing him as a lover cos we didn't start a relationship yet, I feel hurt cos I m hurting his feelings.....:(

I m also empath.

and so, when I think more and as time goes, I realize I can actually relate to everyone, I can love everyone,
that is why I m confusing now if I really have such" a particular soulmate".
I feel everyone who come closer or sent by universe is a potential soulmate....

do u understand my current thinking?
maybe my mind is insane.

Maybe you must bow to meet loves demands. I don’t say with the 20 year old but if this keeps happening perhaps the universe is trying to show you that love doesn’t manifest perfectly. There is always an element of choosing to love someone ....despite xyz. It’s easy to allow fear to masquerade as discerning taste.

As for soul connection vs non-soul connection if you live from your soul you are correct, anyone can be loved deeply. If you are living from soul you are also always connecting from there so actually everyone is then your soulmate.
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  #5  
Old 13-01-2018, 02:00 PM
starnight1 starnight1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QT Pie
Maybe you must bow to meet loves demands. I don’t say with the 20 year old but if this keeps happening perhaps the universe is trying to show you that love doesn’t manifest perfectly. There is always an element of choosing to love someone ....despite xyz. It’s easy to allow fear to masquerade as discerning taste.

As for soul connection vs non-soul connection if you live from your soul you are correct, anyone can be loved deeply. If you are living from soul you are also always connecting from there so actually everyone is then your soulmate.
Thank u so much for the enlightening words...
universe doesn't manifest love in perfection, otherwise why needs our efforts if everything is easy?
and yes, its fear....and lacking wisdom to handle complicated situations....

for instance this 20s brother, he is adopted then abandoned by his parents, he is young but his life experiences is so full and more complicated than mine, even.....
I want to think a way to remedy the friendship,even if starting a relationship for me I want to start from friendship, but for him it seems uneasy.
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  #6  
Old 13-01-2018, 03:12 PM
OEN34 OEN34 is offline
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Location: England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
It's a big age difference, he in 20s and I m much elder, most feelings towards him is a brother , but I know in past lives we were a couple.

I feel I can handle a small age difference, but a big difference is difficult cos realistically the life experieces and health situation of me is not very good, either, lots realistic reasons.....and this is such a realistic earth which makes me sad too , I can do nothing to change the earth dimention, I don't like the earth.

so I don't feel hurt by losing him as a lover cos we didn't start a relationship yet, I feel hurt cos I m hurting his feelings.....:(

I m also empath.

and so, when I think more and as time goes, I realize I can actually relate to everyone, I can love everyone,
that is why I m confusing now if I really have such" a particular soulmate".
I feel everyone who come closer or sent by universe is a potential soulmate....

do u understand my current thinking?
maybe my mind is insane.

I understand more now.

Yes, seems a tricky one if there's that much of an age difference and you have health issues etc. I imagine there is more to it than that too, as you say.

Well, acceptance is the best place to start, and being honest with him is also paramount in my opinion. I imagine you have been honest with him.

Sometimes, the timing just isn't right when we meet people. I have had it myself.

Make it clear that you want to remain friends, but at this moment you do not see a romantic relationship developing. You never know what can happen though

And one final note; you are not responsible for any hurt feelings he has - only he is responsible for his feelings. It is a choice he makes how to react.

Remove that as then the vicious cycle of guilt > blame > negative self talk > sadness > reaction etc starts, which is no good.
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  #7  
Old 13-01-2018, 04:50 PM
Sam.I.Am Sam.I.Am is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 68
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by starnight1
This is my first post on this soulmate/twinflame forum.
I haven't seriously dated anyone for long time cos of my past.
Last year I made a big progress in my spiritual growth and I encountered something too.It gives me a question on soulmate.

Started from a close friend recently stopped talking to me. He and me on a same study group and we r so aligned in the vibration and helping each other also helping others,since he is much younger I v been setting boundary and careful in approaching some sensitive topics. but finally he still told me that he wanted a closer relationship and I told him I just like being an elder sister.

It is not that I don't like him. I do like him and I can feel we had a connection long long before this life. But he is way too much younger and I don't know how to handle this and many other things related too....

This let me think what I really want? where to find my real soulmate in this life?

This is not the first time I encountered a close one....I v met similar situations and even deeper and broke my heart that we couldn't be together for this or that realistic reasons.

My question is, is universe testing me for a lesson and what is it? if not a joke?
it actually makes me sad that this kind of thing keeps happening.....
what is the real purpose for us human to stay here on earth?

I m an old soul, been back on earth many times,
besides, as I keep healing I keep opening heart I feel that I no longer see males as my enemy, I see more and more beauty in them, and it is also horrible I feel I m a universalist , I feel I actually can love all of them......
everyone is a potential soulmate......

some may say, yes, every man is our brother, but soulmate is only one.
but what is the difference?
brother and soulmate r not much different for me....

what shall I do?

sorry for the long story and a bit emotional....

Can I be honest with you here? I am in a soulmate connection with a man who is twice my age. I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early fifties. So, I know about big age differences .

At first, I was kind of mad at the Universe for connecting us. Especially because I have never felt more love, both for him and from him, than I ever felt from another man before. And, regardless of the love that you feel, you think to yourself "How on Earth is this going to work?!" I've also had a great deal of trauma associated with older men (stemming from early childhood), so that adds to the confusion further.

Age has never bothered me in this connection. I don't know if that has to do with the fact that I'm the younger one or what. For me, I just find that our physical ages are just numbers in the grand scheme of things. After all, how old are we [b]really[b] if we've all been reincarnated several times over? Also, I tend to find my soul to be much older than my physical age, so there's not as much of a disconnect between us as people naturally suspect with a large age difference. I'm sure other people can attest to this differently, sure. But, I've also been attracted to his soul, not the age on his driver's license.

With that being said, I've always been cognizant of the age difference, I've just tried not to let it dictate the connection. We are just friends right now and are taking things one step at a time. Do I worry about how things will be if and when we connect romantically? Sure. But, why put the buggy before the horse? I just know that we care about each other and love each other deeply, and what will happen will happen.

I'm not going to lie. I have often wondered how he felt in regards to the age difference. To be honest, we just haven't talked about it. I have worried about him seeing the age difference as a big obstacle and withdrawing because of that. But, my focus has been just on connecting with him and getting to know him, more so than what obstacles will get in the way, when and if we have a romantic connection. To be honest, I think we're still trying to figure out the dynamics of it all, since the natural flow can often lead to a father/daughter or teacher/mentor dynamic.

I might have missed this part in your post, but did he specifically tell you that he wanted a romantic relationship? Or, has it been assumed on your end? I mean, you can connect with someone deeper without the relationship having a romantic connotation . I know you said that you want to remedy the friendship, but for him it seems uneasy...what do you mean by that? Do you think that he feels incapable of having just a friendship with you because he does want more romance?

I almost feel like you're denying the connection because you don't want to get close to men. I feel like the age difference is just another factor that doesn't really help the situation (at least in your mind). It sounds like you're on the right path in regards to opening your heart. But, how can you properly embrace a connection when your constantly braced against the world?

IMHO, you can have so many soul connections in this lifetime! Does that thought, in and of itself scare you? Are you afraid that this particular person, may in fact be "the one" or your feelings for him might develop as such? I apologize if I'm posing a lot of questions here, I'm really just trying to gage your thinking...

I think it's important to recognize that no, we don't get a choice in regards to who is and isn't our soulmate. But, all energetic connections are a choice of free will. At the end of the day, the ball is in your court. It's up to you to take the time to meditate, reflect, journal, continue to heal, and figure out what you want.

Please understand that I would be hurt immensely if my SM were to cut the cord on our relationship. It would hurt me a great deal to do the same to him. But, at the end of the day, I would be so much happier if he were to sit down, talk with me and speak his truth. That to me, is a greater act of love, than staying in a relationship and "leading me on", so to speak. Communication is a beautiful thing in a relationship, use it to your advantage


Last edited by Sam.I.Am : 13-01-2018 at 08:57 PM.
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  #8  
Old 13-01-2018, 05:08 PM
badcopyink
Posts: n/a
 
I dont turn away pizza because it's not the best possible pizza for me.
I enjoy the pizza I find and eat it. I frequent the best pizza place near me.
And will continue until something changes. Me or the pizza place.
i enjoy what I can while I can. Knowing that nothing will ever last. Thats the beauty in life and also the darkness.

Sorry for the pizza analogy. Fighting a pizza craving right now haha
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  #9  
Old 13-01-2018, 09:43 PM
QT Pie QT Pie is offline
Ascender
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 779
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by W.W.J.D

Sorry for the pizza analogy. Fighting a pizza craving right now haha

Awesome analogy, and the button up is made of pure gold hahaha
__________________
A heart without intention is a heart without tension.
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  #10  
Old 13-01-2018, 11:22 PM
FallingLeaves FallingLeaves is offline
Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,385
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by W.W.J.D
I dont turn away pizza because it's not the best possible pizza for me.
I enjoy the pizza I find and eat it. I frequent the best pizza place near me.
And will continue until something changes. Me or the pizza place.
i enjoy what I can while I can. Knowing that nothing will ever last. Thats the beauty in life and also the darkness.

Sorry for the pizza analogy. Fighting a pizza craving right now haha

sometimes, turning things away that aren't the best possible things is really great... because... we aren't allowed to turn away from things we actually are supposed to find desirable, so, if it isn't the best possible WHATEVER we at least have a reason we can use to turn away from what others won't let us turn away from. So enticing others to be mean and only give us only things we have no desire for actually works out in our own favor as we then get the fun of rejecting it.
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