How should I act with my married twin flame?

[ArchIndigo]

Surprisingly this is my current baggage. My parents stayed together for financial reasons aswell as the kids. It was Co dependency and us kids were just used as leverage. I knew my parents weren't in love for over half their marriage. Its really damaging to kids. I'd rather be raised by two sets of parents who are in love vs. One set of biologically dysfunctional parents. That's my perspective on marriages based on lack of love and respect. When you involve the kids in the drama how do they turn out..... they repeat their parents behaviour or they raise themselves like I had too. I missed out on my childhood because of selfish parents. My parents always knew I didn't need advice on how to conduct myself. Its like trying to help your parents on some level without being a know it all. I keep having negativity come up for healing. I'm not sure if its me I'm healing my parents or both.

[Blissful]

Originally Posted by ArchIndigo

Surprisingly this is my current baggage. My parents stayed together for financial reasons aswell as the kids. It was Co dependency and us kids were just used as leverage. I knew my parents weren't in love for over half their marriage. Its really damaging to kids. I'd rather be raised by two sets of parents who are in love vs. One set of biologically dysfunctional parents.

ArchIndigo I really applaud you bringing this out!! Ain't that the seriously hard truth?... I too feel the same, not just coz my TF is married but because I was also raised negligently in a dysfunctional family. The scars never really healed till i met my TF (that brought healing as I also fell in love with myself for the first time in my life), and I still carry a lot of baggage from that ordeal.

I think apart from using kids as the ready excuse the reality is that most married and confused TFs hugely fear CHANGE and/or societal perceptions on broken families... some of them like my TF fear financial and religious fallout as well. They also fear their kids and family/friends would hate them if they followed their true desires. I believe that if we had a safer world where marriages breaking down wasn't seen as such a bad thing but two people respectfully giving each other freedom to live fearlessly and in truth, we would have healthier and truly happier families and individuals, without so much trauma and mental illnesses all around.

@Tiredofthis, I'm in a similar situation and I feel you are really lucky that your TF is willing to have you in your life and make the necessary sacrifices to do so. Yeah yeah... you will hear everyone 'judgementally and self-righteously' talk here about societal rights/perceptions and you deserving better etc but I will probably be the lone voice that tells you both to follow your bliss. Your twin probably is dealing with a lot of guilt so I feel you need to really be extra supportive and loving towards him for doing what he's doing. It takes a lot of guts to step out of a marriage and give another person an actual relationship even if it doesn't involve a 'societally precious' marriage license. I think the relationship you share is precious if it's indeed true love and I strongly believe that its an existing marriage that's preordained between two souls if you are twinflames. Only someone who is truly in love can understand what I mean when I say that I would take what you have anyday!! It takes 'someone who doesn't have shoes' only to see 'someone who doesn't have legs' to appreciate what they themselves have been blessed with.

Set aside any guilt you feel by knowing that all the great men of the bible had multiple wives and God didn't bring down fire and brimstone on them. Its society today and all its laws and regulations that fill people with fears and guilt of being judged. IMHO True love will always find a way and the universe will support it no matter what.

tc
-Blissful

[Tiredofthis]

Thanks for your support Blissful. I know it's difficult to have a different view from society on certain matters but my views on marriage, love, and life have definitely changed. If I really love someone I want them to be happy and feel free, not to tie them down for life and I believe marriage does just that.

I think others have judged me quite harshly. Ok, we did sleep together twice, but it was throughout 7 years!! The rest of the time consisted in having some contact cause we care about each other deeply from time to time and mainly repressing ourselves.

I do believe he is my Twin Flame. He is not very spiritual but he has been the one to tell me stuff like "you are me", "I feel your presence constantly" and that we were so similar it made him cry thinking about it. I feel unconditional love for him and we both know we are always going to love each other. Who would stand just keeping in touch by phone as years pass by if it was just lust or addiction?

Problem is I'm almost 35 years old and would like to have a family. He has told me he doesn't want me to wait for him but right now engaging with someone else would feel like settling, though I am open to meeting someone and I do date other people.

Hi tiredofthis,
Have you watched Lee and Sherry's videos on YouTube? Their story might help you a lot. They were both married when they met and they made a lot of mistakes along the way, but in the end they just has so much love for each other they just wanted to be in each other's lives even with a spouse that was involved. Lee decided that if she loved somebody then he loved her so much that he loved her husband too and just wanted to be around them. Now all three of them are really good friends and like family together. Part of the twin flame journey is the breaking down all of the rules that we have been taught should be in place. I feel this is all part of a divine plan for all parties to drop the rules and see only love. You can love more than one person and it's ok. My husband eventually began to accept that I have a twin flame. Part of this journey is for our twins current partners to learn to accept that we are not bad, or shameful we only have love here. This is our soul in another body, we can't help but love them. But this is a journey and this takes time.
I highly recommend that you watch those videos!

[Tiredofthis]

I'll check them out! Thanks Movedbyu!!

[Blissful]

Good advice movedbyu. Lee and Sherry's videos really did help me center myself when I was totally confused on what was happening and how unlike myself I was behaving, n freaking out about the endless synchs and loss of control over myself and my life. Especially there is one video where they talk about what twinflames are and I was surprised how almost everything fit my feelings/him/us right away. Their ultimately honest and fearless approach to living life 'in truth' really set me on an internal journey that's been amazing. I'm not saying that the spouse is disposable... I'm saying they deserve the truth and the right to decide what's best for them. Its more hurtful when they discover that things were hidden from them over an extended period of time. Living life in your truth is not everyone's cup of tea and imo the hurt internalized by living a life of lies is destructive and prevents real growth. I think when we look to all the worldly baggage we carry (perceptions, projections, responsibilities, norms, laws, cultural/religious upbringing and self-denial) the fears and/or insecurities step in again and again and again, endlessly and that's really sad... especially for those TF who block everything and aren't spiritually self-aware! Maybe true union starts with taking baby steps to living in your truth and testing the connection and eventually doing what's right for all involved in all honesty.

Wishing you only the best ahead TiredofThis.

tc