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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Religions & Faiths > Light Workers & Earth Angels

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  #1  
Old 11-11-2015, 04:41 PM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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Evil still inside

I feel like there is evil inside me that just comes out. I say evil things to my husband " I hate you!" And I throw things around when I'm frustrated. I feel like I am not in control! I tell my husband he doesn't deserve this and to leave, but he won't. Maybe I am not the angel but he is to put up with this?
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  #2  
Old 12-11-2015, 01:57 AM
Tobi Tobi is offline
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We all have, or have had -all shades of experience inside us. Try not to be ashamed, as shame will get you nowhere. Be truly sorry, because that is different, and bear your husband's feelings in your thoughts and your kindness.

Try to manage your anger. Find out what it is that causes rages.You may wish to do that with a Counsellor, or you may have the insight to do it alone. Then decide to try very hard not to cause pain to another by boiling over. Especially someone you love, who loves you -obviously -or he would have walked out by now.

You might start by sensing when the rage is about to come, and saying to your husband "I am feeling strong anger. It is not your fault. It's something in me I am trying to come to terms with", then remove yourself either outside or to another room, to let that anger surface and gradually dissipate, which it eventually will if you don't feed it by 'believing' in it. No matter what its origin, no matter what pain might have caused this in your past, the method of dealing with it is to take control and it starts now.

It might sound cliched, but if there is some inanimate thing available which will absorb the energy -such as chopping logs with an axe, or something else similar....it will help to take the charge away. Or go for a hard run? That will deal with the adrenalin, for sure, and re-balance you.
When you are re-balanced and the rage has passed, come back and give him a hug, and tell him you love him.
Let him know that you wish to work on your emotions and reactions.

You are -very much -in control.
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  #3  
Old 12-11-2015, 01:07 PM
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What you're doing to your husband is Abuse. I suggest you stop, or leave yourself rather than telling him to leave.

Or, change yourself and apologize profusely when you realize that treating him
like that is no different to a man who says the same to his wife.

If you can't handle the emotional turbulence of a relationship you might not be ready for it. There are places you can go for support, starting with a GP unless you're somewhere that seeing your GP costs money, otherwise try to find a counsellor or read up on anger management.
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  #4  
Old 12-11-2015, 01:27 PM
knightofalbion knightofalbion is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnix
I feel like there is evil inside me that just comes out. I say evil things to my husband " I hate you!" And I throw things around when I'm frustrated. I feel like I am not in control! I tell my husband he doesn't deserve this and to leave, but he won't. Maybe I am not the angel but he is to put up with this?

You are human. The stresses and strains of life can get on top of the best of us at times.

Perhaps meditation or 'Mindfulness' might be of help. Or, as has been suggested vigorously activity to burn off the stress. Or some herbal nervines.

Reflect too on what is missing in your life as all of this would seem to stem from an inner frustration and lack of fulfilment.
Reflect also on all that you have to be grateful for.
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All this talk of religion, but it's how you live your life that is the all-important thing.
If you set out each day to do all the goodness and kindness that you can, and to do no harm to man or beast, then you are walking the highest path.
And when your time is up, if you can leave the earth a better place than you found it, then yours will have been a life well lived.

http://holy-lance.blogspot.com
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  #5  
Old 13-11-2015, 01:04 AM
Angnix Angnix is offline
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I am actually in therapy to teach me mindfulness. I'm trying to improve.
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  #6  
Old 13-11-2015, 09:54 AM
knightofalbion knightofalbion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnix
I am actually in therapy to teach me mindfulness. I'm trying to improve.

Good for you!

Wishing you well ... Be happy.
__________________
All this talk of religion, but it's how you live your life that is the all-important thing.
If you set out each day to do all the goodness and kindness that you can, and to do no harm to man or beast, then you are walking the highest path.
And when your time is up, if you can leave the earth a better place than you found it, then yours will have been a life well lived.

http://holy-lance.blogspot.com
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  #7  
Old 13-11-2015, 12:40 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angnix
I say evil things to my husband " I hate you!"
I am actually in therapy to teach me mindfulness. I'm trying to improve.
You can't improve wanting to be with someone, you either love them or you don't, it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world. I'd suggest you look at that, because therapy is a waste of time if the relationship isn't what you want in the first place. And most important, choosing to believe there is something evil in you is deflecting your issues. That's an even bigger waste of time because it's illusionary, at least your relationship issues are authentic and can be approached and dealt with in real ways.
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  #8  
Old 13-11-2015, 01:58 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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Originally Posted by Angnix
"I say evil things to my husband " I hate you!"
I am actually in therapy to teach me mindfulness. I'm trying to improve."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brava!

Usually the source of our verbal outbursts come from 'stinkin' thinkin'...our beliefs...meaning:
" He 'should' be doing it this way. He 'should' know what I want."
Or "People are so stupid!" A general thought, haha.

The therapist will point this out and soon you will see that 'the way we think' effects everything!!
And, boy, do our distorted expectations ever come from childhood ideas and
unfulfilled needs...for love, understanding, support, appreciation...
things like that we may never have gotten...so you yelling at your husband is usually misplaced anger at your parents. Ha!

"Getting The Love You Want" helps tremendously, btw...even just the first 3 chapters.


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Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
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  #9  
Old 13-11-2015, 02:10 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn
Usually the source of our verbal outbursts come from 'stinkin' thinkin'...our beliefs...

The therapist will point this out and soon you will see that 'the way we think' effects everything!!
If one's fears stem from new-age beliefs regarding evil and being evil, I would suggest the typical therapist isn't going to be of much help. There is a another, different issue here I'd suggest.
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