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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 02-01-2020, 08:46 PM
Treeplanter Treeplanter is offline
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Getting Back on him who Tormented me.

Getting Back.
Late in 1959 an old aunt gave me a little diary for the coming year. The first date in it was the 28th December and I proudly and neatly made my first entry, "Christmas Present from Aunty Daisy". The problem was that my reading and writing at 10 years was truly appalling. It was unbelievably bad and I couldn't even spell the word aunty. Just that moment my father walked past so I asked him, "How do you spell aunty? Is it Unty? [As I had just incorrectly written]". It is even just recently I have recalled what he said. Without stopping or looking or having the slightest interest, he snapped back at me in an irritable and even angry way, "U!Au!", and kept on walking. I didn't know much about spelling and was confused and naturally didn't want to ask again so I thought to inserted an a between the u and the n to give the strange spelling for aunt as uanty. I knew it looked strange and probably wrong but what would I know or care as I decided from then on never to show the diary to anyone and to keep it all private.
"Okay", I thought to myself, "if that is how you feel, I'll never ask again," and so for the rest of the diary, all my spelling was, let me say "freestyle" and against convention.
Even to this day, I have never shown anyone this diary. I am just too embarrassed by the truly terrible writing and spelling and other too painful things to even recall. The diary is a little interesting in so far that it never mentions my feelings, [they sure didn't count] or school lessons but only I did this and I did that and a bit of cricket.
Well, in the long run, yes, I got back on him because exactly 49 years later to the day, is the day he died and I had the good fortune to realized this little story 11 years later [that was yesterday]. He died in dubious circumstances and do you know there were no regrets from anyone. He was truly a tragic and mean spirited person.
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  #2  
Old 02-01-2020, 09:25 PM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 5,089
 
Just be careful, because your thoughts and emotions affect yourself, no matter if they're justified or not. Let it go!

The stronger and persistent the emotions, the stronger and resilient the thought-forms they create, and the more they'll manifest into similar situations in your current life (and in other incarnations) until they're balanced by counter-thoughts and emotions.

Your father got whatever he deserved (thoughts wise). Everybody does.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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  #3  
Old 03-01-2020, 12:29 AM
iamthat iamthat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Golden Bay, New Zealand
Posts: 3,580
 
Small events can affect us deeply as children, and in this case it left a mark which still remains all these years later.

But perhaps there is a lesson for you in acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. If your father was a tragic and mean-spirited person, then what might have happened to him when he was a child to make him turn out this way? Or perhaps as an adult he was frustrated and unhappy with his life. He is not to be condemned, he is to be pitied. And maybe now it is time for you to forgive and let go.

Peace
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  #4  
Old 30-01-2020, 12:22 PM
BodhiCris BodhiCris is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: BFE, North Carolina (USA)
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Try to release your hold on these memories and feelings; the only one tormented is you.
After stopping the focus of others as the problem, I was able to see situations in a variety of ways and let go of injurious memories (which had nothing to do with 'reality' but my perception at the time). Much like my misspelling trends too, I had to learn and gain new understanding.
If you can release the grip on this (and anything else) you'll find a lightness and brightness from letting go of this dark memory. I hope for nothing greater than the end of your suffering (& everyone elses) and to see things without the "bad prescription glasses" that suffering brings.
Namaste.
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  #5  
Old 21-03-2020, 05:39 PM
17glory01 17glory01 is offline
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@IAMTHAT- I concur!
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  #6  
Old 21-04-2020, 10:08 AM
Elfin
Posts: n/a
 
Hi. Once again I can connect with everything you write. My father is the same ( he is still with us). No matter how big or small a word, an action, children can be damaged so easily.Things can, and often do stay with us all our lives. When I had children I vowed they would never ever be raised as I had been. And they weren't. Because of this I now have a very close loving bond with All of my children and I know without a doubt how much they love me. I cannot say that I love my father in tat same way, and that saddens me. I guess deep down I do love him, but I don't like him . I feel sorry for him. I pity him. And I also feel guilty. Don't know why, but I just do. I would like to hope that by sharing this with us it helps in order to release some of the pent up emotion, because I do believe that it helps, and in turn , me being able to express about my own father has been helpful to me too.
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  #7  
Old 25-04-2020, 05:29 AM
BigJohn BigJohn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Treeplanter
Getting Back.
Late in 1959 an old aunt gave me a little diary for the coming year. The first date in it was the 28th December and I proudly and neatly made my first entry, "Christmas Present from Aunty Daisy". The problem was that my reading and writing at 10 years was truly appalling. It was unbelievably bad and I couldn't even spell the word aunty. Just that moment my father walked past so I asked him, "How do you spell aunty? Is it Unty? [As I had just incorrectly written]". It is even just recently I have recalled what he said. Without stopping or looking or having the slightest interest, he snapped back at me in an irritable and even angry way, "U!Au!", and kept on walking. I didn't know much about spelling and was confused and naturally didn't want to ask again so I thought to inserted an a between the u and the n to give the strange spelling for aunt as uanty. I knew it looked strange and probably wrong but what would I know or care as I decided from then on never to show the diary to anyone and to keep it all private.
"Okay", I thought to myself, "if that is how you feel, I'll never ask again," and so for the rest of the diary, all my spelling was, let me say "freestyle" and against convention.
Even to this day, I have never shown anyone this diary. I am just too embarrassed by the truly terrible writing and spelling and other too painful things to even recall. The diary is a little interesting in so far that it never mentions my feelings, [they sure didn't count] or school lessons but only I did this and I did that and a bit of cricket.
Well, in the long run, yes, I got back on him because exactly 49 years later to the day, is the day he died and I had the good fortune to realized this little story 11 years later [that was yesterday]. He died in dubious circumstances and do you know there were no regrets from anyone. He was truly a tragic and mean spirited person.
Before my Mother died, she was complaining about my step-Father. I stopped her and told her if it wasn't for him, where would we be?


Sure, he had his faults, but he also had a good side which we never looked at.

One day I asked my Mother why did Pops by that stupid donkey? All he did was sit on his butt and hee-haa. Mom laughed. And then she thought, and she could not give me an answer. There must have been a reason why he bought the donkey but we could never figure it out.

As for Pops: girls had there place and boys had there place. That was it. On Tuesdays, he would work late at night at an auction house which meant the rest of the family got goodies like brownies, etc....... baked by myself.
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  #8  
Old 03-05-2020, 12:34 PM
Colorado Colorado is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 714
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Treeplanter
Getting Back.
Late in 1959 an old aunt gave me a little diary for the coming year. The first date in it was the 28th December and I proudly and neatly made my first entry, "Christmas Present from Aunty Daisy". The problem was that my reading and writing at 10 years was truly appalling. It was unbelievably bad and I couldn't even spell the word aunty. Just that moment my father walked past so I asked him, "How do you spell aunty? Is it Unty? [As I had just incorrectly written]". It is even just recently I have recalled what he said. Without stopping or looking or having the slightest interest, he snapped back at me in an irritable and even angry way, "U!Au!", and kept on walking. I didn't know much about spelling and was confused and naturally didn't want to ask again so I thought to inserted an a between the u and the n to give the strange spelling for aunt as uanty. I knew it looked strange and probably wrong but what would I know or care as I decided from then on never to show the diary to anyone and to keep it all private.
"Okay", I thought to myself, "if that is how you feel, I'll never ask again," and so for the rest of the diary, all my spelling was, let me say "freestyle" and against convention.
Even to this day, I have never shown anyone this diary. I am just too embarrassed by the truly terrible writing and spelling and other too painful things to even recall. The diary is a little interesting in so far that it never mentions my feelings, [they sure didn't count] or school lessons but only I did this and I did that and a bit of cricket.
Well, in the long run, yes, I got back on him because exactly 49 years later to the day, is the day he died and I had the good fortune to realized this little story 11 years later [that was yesterday]. He died in dubious circumstances and do you know there were no regrets from anyone. He was truly a tragic and mean spirited person.

I know that it upset you, and it makes a person angry when they are neglected, abused, mistreated as a child. It's very hurtful, and leaves scars....but you know, scars are not open wounds, unless you pick at them, and open them up. Scars are old wounds that are healed. You can look at it, and remember the old wound..but, you also have to remember that it's healed.

You don't have to get back at your tormentor, and you don't have to make them feel the pain they caused you...they already know. Somebody has done it to them, and they did it to you. Carrying pain around is heavy. Pain eventually turns to anger, and then anger turns to revenge. It's very dark energy. If you carry around the pain that others have caused you...you will darken your own light, until you don't even recognize yourself, and others come to know you as having the same energy and vibrations as your father.

I think it's s absolutely adorable when children write things wrong...it always made laugh when my own children wrote things that I had to sound out, and pronounce slowly to figure out what they wrote. My own children did the cutest things, even at 10. In your innocence, you simply just wanted to learn how to spell. You were a very inquisitive child, probably bright and self assertive....and very proud of your new diary. I bet you couldn't wait to start your new book....I find that very endearing, and sweet. Try to remember who you were, and not who your father was.

Go back to that day, and love your 10 year old self. You were an innocent, sweet, bright, little 10 year old child writing in your first diary. Keep the focus on you, who you were, who you are today, and who you want to be....and how you want to be remembered when your time here is over.... because you DO matter.

Don't be afraid to learn, to ask questions, and keep growing ....until you take your last breath here.

And if nobody told you...I will tell you the same as I have my own children....

It's correctly spelled auntie, but you can spell it any way you want because....*it's your story.... it's your book*
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