Reviving a relationship with an ex, good idea?

[MOLA]

As the title says, would you think reviving a relationship with an ex be a good idea?

Or would getting back with an ex be a bad idea because it will end the same? What do you think? Would breaking up with an ex in a past relationship then getting back together be plausible for future marriage?

This has been on my mind lately.

There are a whole host of other factors that would need to be taken into consideration. Why did you break up in the first place? Has anything changed since you broke up? Has he? Have you? Usually when people break up it's because they weren't ready for a relationship, or one or both wasn't ready for the other.

[MOLA]

Originally Posted by SkyeSpitfire

There are a whole host of other factors that would need to be taken into consideration. Why did you break up in the first place? Has anything changed since you broke up? Has he? Have you? Usually when people break up it's because they weren't ready for a relationship, or one or both wasn't ready for the other.

The reason for the breakup initially was very unknown. But as 2 years have passed, we met once again as friends and spent a whole day together. She finally revealed the reason why the relationship fell apart; it was on my part. I wasn't enjoying the relationship and getting emotional often and she felt the "me" that she fell in love with wasn't there anymore.

Funnily, ever since the break up she's been keeping constant tabs on me. I have been in three relationships since her and she kept tabs. Which is why I am thinking of giving a relationship with her another shot.

[FruitLoop]

If your issues are resolved and you both want to give it a go it's worth a try. Just bear in mind that relationships usually end for a reason and the relationship could bring up old issues. A good, healthy relationship takes work and effort from both sides!! Good luck :)

[wstein]

Usually it turns out the same way unless something MAJOR has changed. Realistically major change is rare. People like to think that life experience has taught them a lot, for some it has. However, people are basically who they have always been. Doing it 'better' the second time is not the same doing it differently. Differently is what is needed.

One exception I can think of is if the 'problem' the first time was a third party and they are no longer around, there might be a realistic chance.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Molattee

The reason for the breakup initially was very unknown. But as 2 years have passed, we met once again as friends and spent a whole day together. She finally revealed the reason why the relationship fell apart; it was on my part. I wasn't enjoying the relationship and getting emotional often and she felt the "me" that she fell in love with wasn't there anymore.

Funnily, ever since the break up she's been keeping constant tabs on me. I have been in three relationships since her and she kept tabs. Which is why I am thinking of giving a relationship with her another shot.

So, she broke it off because you weren't enjoying the relationship and you were too emotional... and it seemed to her that you were not the person she fell in love with.

I take it the three subsequent realtionships weren't particularly enduring.

[MOLA]

Originally Posted by wstein

Usually it turns out the same way unless something MAJOR has changed. Realistically major change is rare. People like to think that life experience has taught them a lot, for some it has. However, people are basically who they have always been. Doing it 'better' the second time is not the same doing it differently. Differently is what is needed.

One exception I can think of is if the 'problem' the first time was a third party and they are no longer around, there might be a realistic chance.

There is a third party involved in the initial breakup, there was a guy. And another third party, is her parents. They believe I was on the verge of heading in the wrong direction in life and didn't want to see their only daughter follow my path.

The other guy, she entered a relationship with him after breaking up with me (about a week or so). This part of the problem, she has explained why her actions were so and I have forgiven her.

Last year we did spend a whole day together, as friends though. It was quite weird because I'm used to holding her so close but now I can't even hold her at all. We enjoyed the day together, did everything we could like old times. (the only different part was not holding each other)

At the end of that encounter I told her that no matter what she decides I'm happy for her. She was quiet the whole time.

That's the story.

So, she broke it off because you weren't enjoying the relationship and you were too emotional... and it seemed to her that you were not the person she fell in love with.

I take it the three subsequent realtionships weren't particularly enduring.

During the following three subsequent relationships, she came in and out of my life periodically. She would ask me how I'm doing, how I'm doing with my following ex-es after her and she would ask why them? She kept tabs on me and would surprise me by how much she knows about me.