Letting children decide for themselves about religion

Both my husband and I had been brought up by Bible believing, evangelical parents. We did the 'born again' bit as kids and were both embarrassingly devout as young teenagers. As the doubts became overwhelming, we lost our faith completely. He is a convinced atheist and I am an agnostic.

When our children came along we decided that it was entirely up to them if they wished to embrace a religion. Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest. Fortunately, from our point of view, none of them are Biblical literalists, which we would find very hard to take.

[norseman]

Originally Posted by justme50

Both my husband and I had been brought up by Bible believing, evangelical parents. We did the 'born again' bit as kids and were both embarrassingly devout as young teenagers. As the doubts became overwhelming, we lost our faith completely. He is a convinced atheist and I am an agnostic.

When our children came along we decided that it was entirely up to them if they wished to embrace a religion. Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest. Fortunately, from our point of view, none of them are Biblical literalists, which we would find very hard to take.

Ask yourself this. Who is doing the indocrination ?

What do you mean?

[Lynn]

Hello

I was raised in the Anglican Church and the mate in Catholic and other paths of faith. While I am hugely spiritual the mate is not. I am open in the home to all faiths as all come under Metaphysics. They are free to read and explore what feels right for them. Where that takes them matters not to me as they do have the foundations of faith with them.

Lynn

This is an issue that I find extremely interesting, and scary for the future if I have children. I definitely want any children I have to be able to choose what they believe. I know that I want to be open and forthcoming with things I believe, but also be encouraging for them to believe what they wish. I think my fear comes from not being able to control what they choose, which would obviously contradict what I said about letting them choose, but none the less it is my instinct to try to control. I am also afraid of the possability that their beliefs could alientate them from myself. For example, one of my sisters is an Evangelic Christian, and is not accepting of alternative beliefs and even tries to keep her daughters away from family members who do not comply with her belief system. That is why I haven't had any 'heart to heart' talks with her about my own religious beliefs.

I think letting go, trusting, and truth will ultimately give children the best chance for happiness, which is all I can really hope for as a futurue parent.

In the end children will decide for themselves. It is fine to share your belief system with your children, as long as you don't expect them to share it too. Children who have had religion forced down their throats, especially the scarier dogmas like being 'saved' or else, could well to kick it into touch when they are older. This can cause serious friction with the parents.

[psychoslice]

Its a form of child abuse to fill their heads with what we ourselves believe, espeically the **** about going to hell if their not behaving, and to tell them that when they are bad it makes Jesus sad, I've actually head that being said in my own church, and it turns my guts.

Originally Posted by justme50

Both my husband and I had been brought up by Bible believing, evangelical parents. We did the 'born again' bit as kids and were both embarrassingly devout as young teenagers. As the doubts became overwhelming, we lost our faith completely. He is a convinced atheist and I am an agnostic.

When our children came along we decided that it was entirely up to them if they wished to embrace a religion. Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest. Fortunately, from our point of view, none of them are Biblical literalists, which we would find very hard to take.

The no true Scottsman argument would apply here. And I agree, at least one (not to mention the entire congregation) is not a literalist since "she" is a priest.

[renewe]

I totally agree with allowing children to choose. Every person has their own way of relating and experiencing God or the divine, and people with different personalities will have different preferences for how they want to worship, celebrate or honour their relationship with God or sacred source of all things.

It doesn't matter what you call it, it matters that you have a real relationship, belief and commitment to your chosen religion or spiritual practice. I grew up in a Christian home, and were also very devout as a child before I started to ask questions as a teenager. A lot of things that I were taught and told as a child is things I appreciate and still hold close to my heart, but anything that does not support my spiritual growth and relationship to God I let go.

My parents would not really approve of my current beliefs, and would love to choose for me, but yes, children will decide for themselves later in life anyway, so why not allow them to explore and choose at a young age already?

[Berry]

I am allowing my children to choose for themselves. I teach them to be open minded in religion and other matters. I was raised in a household where Taoism, Buddhism, and Christianity conflicted. My husband's family is non-practicing Catholics. It warms my heart when my children pray. I ask whom do they pray to and they said God. I said that's fine. As long as my children grow up to be kind, loving, productive people, it matters not what religion they believe in.