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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

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  #21  
Old 17-05-2018, 03:45 PM
Seenthelight Seenthelight is offline
Knower
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 158
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inika
is it possible to be 'friends' with attraction there?

i wonder if guilt becomes conscious because deep in the conscious we are fully aaware of our desires.

Exactly that. I want to be friends... or do I actually want more than that? Although this takes away the fact that I also don't want to actually have a romantic relationship with him. Do I desire him? When I am away from him, I can't deny that isn't part of it. When I am with him, it's something else entirely. Completely different energy to just 'fancying him'. I want to know him, inside and out, what makes him tick, what is his opinion on x, y, z. I want to reach out to him about how I have felt over the last 10 years and find out things from his perspective.

Which is why we would never be actual friends, I guess, never mind the married male/female thing.
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  #22  
Old 17-05-2018, 05:02 PM
Inika Inika is offline
Master
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2,016
 
10 years is such a long time. There must be bonding feels on his side toward you too. I hope you get to openly discuss things with him freely without akwardness.

I have thoughts about marriage. but only because mine didnt work and i vowed against it ever again.
Unless there is an ideal or perfect marriage in existence where neither spouse's soul is still unsatisfied and unconsciously 'looking' for its ultimate rest. then my thoughts remain.

i wonder if soul love, true love, unconditional love, agape love comes into it or if many are a coupling up for power, wealth, comfort and material security. And maybe, love will grow into it.. Or what was thought of as love has become 'comfortable old slippers' and love/romance and passion died off long ago.

Sometimes i think it's a 'role' that is a socially accepted thing to do.
'its been 5 years, you two ever gonna get married?'

hmm yeah, we may as well ***not like anyone else has showed up***, we are friends, i love him, trust him. may as well.
i dont get why to marry? I do not understand it's specific purpose apart from a role and a title.
Play it well and right and you'll be rewarded wife/mother/father/husband of all history.

logic tells us its the thing to do. it's human.

spirit says ***? ok lets roll with it. learn from it.
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  #23  
Old 17-05-2018, 08:42 PM
Seenthelight Seenthelight is offline
Knower
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 158
 
I hope he did feel something too, as you say. It certainly felt electric when we met. There was a soft energy to begin with that just grew in intensity. I am used to spontaneous spiritual experiences so I know the difference between me making it happen and it happening to and around me. This was definitely happening to and around me.
I too hope to discuss it with him some day and doubt I will rest until we do. I won't feel awkward, nervous yes. None of us want to be told 'I'm flattered but...' when actually what I would be trying to convey is probably the most difficult thing to explain.

I understand where you are at re marriage. It is a social construct. Who says we have to be married? Biologically aren't we meant to mate with as many as possible? Who knows. But I love my husband and I am happy to be married to him.
I just wish I could meet up with this man I feel this connection to ...I guess the awkwardness will come from me asking my husband if he minds...which sounds ridiculous written down but I would do this out of respect. I can't be doing with tiptoeing around and avoiding telling him. It was bad enough telling him I 'bumped into' him last week. He didn't sound in the least bit interested anyway.
I have a plan how I will bring the subject up...whether or not this guy then wants to meet is another thing entirely. I have an awkward habit of making things weird because I overthink everything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inika
10 years is such a long time. There must be bonding feels on his side toward you too. I hope you get to openly discuss things with him freely without akwardness.

I have thoughts about marriage. but only because mine didnt work and i vowed against it ever again.
Unless there is an ideal or perfect marriage in existence where neither spouse's soul is still unsatisfied and unconsciously 'looking' for its ultimate rest. then my thoughts remain.

i wonder if soul love, true love, unconditional love, agape love comes into it or if many are a coupling up for power, wealth, comfort and material security. And maybe, love will grow into it.. Or what was thought of as love has become 'comfortable old slippers' and love/romance and passion died off long ago.

Sometimes i think it's a 'role' that is a socially accepted thing to do.
'its been 5 years, you two ever gonna get married?'

hmm yeah, we may as well ***not like anyone else has showed up***, we are friends, i love him, trust him. may as well.
i dont get why to marry? I do not understand it's specific purpose apart from a role and a title.
Play it well and right and you'll be rewarded wife/mother/father/husband of all history.

logic tells us its the thing to do. it's human.

spirit says ***? ok lets roll with it. learn from it.
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  #24  
Old 18-05-2018, 04:20 AM
Tortoise Walks Tortoise Walks is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 78
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inika
is it possible to be 'friends' with attraction there?

i wonder if guilt becomes conscious because deep in the conscious we are fully aaware of our desires.

Yes, I can be friends if there is attraction... I do and I have. I can have tight discipline and hold boundaries. When I believe it is in accordance with my highest good which it usually is... Save with one person?! Because with him, authentically, my heart says yes a lot... that should he LEAN IN... and my heart was saying yes in that moment... as it does :-/

This is known and acknowledged [from a distance] between the both of us:

My vulnerability towards him and also support of where I'm at within the known and acknowledged boundaries/emotions/freedom of my committed marriage/life partnership. Still, I could also be perfectly content with presence, chatting and talking or whatever... This I know. My preference is connection of some kind... Silent "presence" is where we're at now. I support. Figuring... feeling it out... over time.

Attraction, for me, as related to a desire for sexual participation is a transient thing that is affected by a host of variables. It ebbs and flows. Sexuality is important, yes... as a right of passage to your Self and your own inner workings connected and merged with another (others as the case may be). Wow! Also thinks of love buckets and lunar cycles and artistic endeavors... and shadow layers... Sometimes more ON than not...

I do not believe sexual fulfillment to be the basis of life partnerships... living together... building family... home... wiping babies bums... wiping each others bums... growth and evolving. Sexual connection... helps, yes, but complete personal sexual fulfillment? think about it. What happens if it doesn't fulfill? What happens if it falters or subsides? What's left?

Love. Is another thing. And I don't dare to control the love I feel within. Why? Who would want me to? Do you? And if one does what does that say about where we're at?

Love can be like water flexible enough to fill vessels of limitless shape. So beautiful and meaningful. So yes. I can be a friend. A lover. A coworker. A collaborator. A neighbor to gift you sugar for your family's Sunday brunch. A board game player... An appreciative flirt if it suits... Who supports YOUR life's goals more than any agenda I may have...

...

Guilt, for me, is an indication that Iím not living in accordance to my authentic self/values or representing my authentic self/capabilities to those I am in relationship with (personally, socially & professionally) OR i am imposing outside expectations/values upon myself that I cannot/choose not to live by. The latter is damaging and gives away my personal power living for other's expectations more than my own, IMO. The former is up to me to discern and reckon with until I find inner alignment...

TW

Last edited by Tortoise Walks : 18-05-2018 at 05:31 AM.
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  #25  
Old 19-05-2018, 10:27 AM
jro5139 jro5139 is offline
Guide
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 679
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inika
10 years is such a long time. There must be bonding feels on his side toward you too. I hope you get to openly discuss things with him freely without akwardness.

I have thoughts about marriage. but only because mine didnt work and i vowed against it ever again.
Unless there is an ideal or perfect marriage in existence where neither spouse's soul is still unsatisfied and unconsciously 'looking' for its ultimate rest. then my thoughts remain.

i wonder if soul love, true love, unconditional love, agape love comes into it or if many are a coupling up for power, wealth, comfort and material security. And maybe, love will grow into it.. Or what was thought of as love has become 'comfortable old slippers' and love/romance and passion died off long ago.

Sometimes i think it's a 'role' that is a socially accepted thing to do.
'its been 5 years, you two ever gonna get married?'

hmm yeah, we may as well ***not like anyone else has showed up***, we are friends, i love him, trust him. may as well.
i dont get why to marry? I do not understand it's specific purpose apart from a role and a title.
Play it well and right and you'll be rewarded wife/mother/father/husband of all history.

logic tells us its the thing to do. it's human.

spirit says ***? ok lets roll with it. learn from it.

Marriage seems horribly outdated to me. When you take it's original intent, which was really a property exchange (with the woman being the property of course), it seems to have no purpose in this day and age. Of course in the past it was necessary for woman, as we had very little options to support ourselves other than rely on a man. That has slowly changed over time and with the ability to have our own voice and support ourselves, we as woman no longer are forced into the agreement.
It seems to linger on due to the general fear that most people have of being alone. And it's convenient to have somebody to do things with. Most people don't like to do things alone, this requires another person around that has made an agreement. As a society, we don't put much stock in friendships, our sense of community has all but completely died (community hardly exists anymore), we are more isolated than ever (to spite having the ability to connect to people all over the world). Does a 1000 likes on facebook really fulfill us if we have nobody to call that we can talk to in person?

Then of course there's the argument that it's healthier for the children to have 2 parents and both must be in the home, living together for it to benefit them. Is this always the best way? That's debatable and a whole other argument.

Sexual fulfillment seems to also be a big issue for most people, especially for men (most don't seem to be able to go without it for long; hence relationships are created prematurely and drug out much longer than they should last in a lot of cases). When one thinks about it like this, it seems to be rather enslaving. Makes sense that it is one of the curses bestowed upon us when we fell into human bodies.

Edited to add: Being authentic is an absolute must for anyone on the spiritual path. At some point you reach a point where you either be authentic or you get off the spiritual path and go back to the material world. Reminds me of a quote:
If I hide myself where ever I go
Am I ever really there?
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  #26  
Old Yesterday, 02:48 PM
Anne Anne is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 400
 
Great post TW!

At the risk of going off topic, Iíd like to say while I agree people donít need marriage for reasons they did in the past - I am not prepared to toss the marriage ideal in the outdated bin just yet.

It could be Iím on a royal wedding high and still under the influence of a voracious homily...but when I think of two souls connecting and wishing to commit themselves unto each other with a blessing from Source to become one unit..., well, I think twin flames...

ďif humanity ever captures the energy of love, it will be the second time in history that we have discovered fireĒ

And I know itís just not me, rather hundreds of thousands turned out to appreciate the importance of Love and even Romance!

With regard to the OP, when youíre already married to someone else and then meet a TF I imagine it is very much like banging your head against a brick wall.
It does seem impossible at times, figuring out how to handle a friendship.
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  #27  
Old Today, 11:55 AM
Seenthelight Seenthelight is offline
Knower
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 158
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne

With regard to the OP, when youíre already married to someone else and then meet a TF I imagine it is very much like banging your head against a brick wall.
It does seem impossible at times, figuring out how to handle a friendship.

Thanks, yes, just that. Hitting my head on a brick wall.

That said, I have come to the realisation that I have got what I so longed for for all those years - to meet him face to face again, to know that all is okay between us, and for at least one of us to recognise that that connection still exists. Is that enough? I think for now, it is what it is and I should be grateful that he at least remembers me and, somewhere I did recognise the connection we have reflected in his eyes.
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