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  #31  
Old 15-06-2019, 11:36 AM
Greenslade Greenslade is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EdmundJohnstone
Cool story. Truly with respect if I may ask.You stated as above that you have been diagnosed with borderline schizophrenia, and that you also worked as a medium.My question is how do you know that what you experienced as a medium were not illusions from schizophrenia? (i.e voices that only you can hear, touching that only you can feel, images that only you can see etc). Or that anyone that has spiritual experiences isn't in fact having illusions from mental illness?
Most people perceive things differently but... With 'normal' hearing everything is processed through the ears and it's obvious that the voices are external. When I hear them in me head it's literally in my head, as though that's where the sound was coming from. I'm clairsentient, which means clear (clair) knowing. The knowing doesn't happen in my head in the way you'd think of how you perceive thoughts and I'm not given any information, usually I have a shift in consciousness and I just know things. The shift takes me above the level of consciousness the voices are at so I just don't hear them or the knowing will come to me in a more intuitive way, depending on what's happening at the time. I don't see images or hear Spirit talking to me, it's just 'there' as though I'm accessing memory.
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  #32  
Old 29-06-2019, 01:10 PM
little.nation little.nation is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up. 7 years of being mentally ill has really taken its' toll on my life, although I do like some of the concepts, it hasn't helped my state of mind, if anything it made it worse. I've had a messed up life, but it also makes me wanna be a better person yet i feel so self-contradicting inside, it f*cking hurts a lot of the time. The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.
My experience

I was put into a comatose trance at a young age by satan. I was being groomed for lifelong rape and sexual abuse and sexual torture. Among other great evils.

At 13 years old, I disclosed sexual abuse for the first time.
Guess where I was sent to? Psychiatry. I was told that I was depressed.

At 14 years old, in the 8th grade, I conceived my first child. Toward the end of my pregnancy I disclosed more sexual abuse... much more serious sexual abuse (the sort that excites some people but makes others homicidal).

At 15 years old I went into foster care and disclosed more sexual abuse. I was given drugs and a bunch of fake mental illness diagnoses.

I'm 43 years old now. I'm extremely homicidal, suicidal, wrathful. I've been raped, tortured, brutalized, vulgarized and worse. I am not now, never have been, and never will be "mentally ill".

I emerged from psychiatric indoctrination, brainwash and mind control in my 30's only to be subjected to "school" in Hell where I endured massive onslaught of blasting, bombardment, spiritual awakening and quickening.

I'm extraordinarily and extremely spiritual (and I absolutely abhor, loathe and despise it).

People CAN hear your thoughts. Not only can they hear your thoughts, they can speak YOUR thoughts out of THEIR mouths (just as other people's unwelcome, unwanted thoughts come out of MY mouth). Most of those people are clueless. They do not know, let alone understand.

There are no boundaries in an interconnected mind.

This is not normal spirituality. It is extremely adverse (evil). The unforgiveable sin is blasphemy of the holy spirit which is an exquisite way of saying that a shattered mind has no repair, ever.

It's almost impossible to ever resolve the mind - and spirit - because it's all much too vast. Way way way too vast.

There's only one atmosphere and there's only one gigantic space of consciousness. We are billions of minds all sharing an interconnected space inside of one. But like the atmosphere has layers (troposphere, ionosphere, magnetosphere, etc) the mind has dimensions or planes. The higher planes are heaven. The lower planes are Hell.

You could have connections in different dimensions but not have the knowledge to understand it. The vast majority of people lack a full, cognizant understanding of the mind and spirit. There are so many levels, dimensions, angles...

So-called mental illness is fake. That doesn't mean that people don't suffer. It means that the way human suffering is framed and conceptualized, and the way it's treated and responded to, is all wrong.

I see a lot of adverse sinister spirit in people. The world calls it psychotic and psychosis and psychopathic. All of those words are some sort of utility but the TRUTH is that this sort of behavior and mentality and consciousness is ADVERSE EVIL SPIRIT. It's like this, in my structure: psychiatry is the house of darkness. The word of god is the house of light. Psychiatry denies spirit and uses language and terminology of utility but scripture is the truth of spirit and is the only thing on earth that gives clarity and understanding.

It's just tragic that it's clarity and understanding of sin and evil and a very difficult road to the light of salvation and the hope of restoration to wholeness and integrity and cleanliness and purity and sanity and wellbeing.
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  #33  
Old 29-06-2019, 03:08 PM
John32241 John32241 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little.nation

It's almost impossible to ever resolve the mind - and spirit - because it's all much too vast. Way way way too vast.

There's only one atmosphere and there's only one gigantic space of consciousness. We are billions of minds all sharing an interconnected space inside of one. But like the atmosphere has layers (troposphere, ionosphere, magnetosphere, etc) the mind has dimensions or planes. The higher planes are heaven. The lower planes are Hell.

You could have connections in different dimensions but not have the knowledge to understand it. The vast majority of people lack a full, cognizant understanding of the mind and spirit. There are so many levels, dimensions, angles...

So-called mental illness is fake. That doesn't mean that people don't suffer. It means that the way human suffering is framed and conceptualized, and the way it's treated and responded to, is all wrong.

I see a lot of adverse sinister spirit in people. The world calls it psychotic and psychosis and psychopathic. All of those words are some sort of utility but the TRUTH is that this sort of behavior and mentality and consciousness is ADVERSE EVIL SPIRIT. It's like this, in my structure: psychiatry is the house of darkness. The word of god is the house of light. Psychiatry denies spirit and uses language and terminology of utility but scripture is the truth of spirit and is the only thing on earth that gives clarity and understanding.

It's just tragic that it's clarity and understanding of sin and evil and a very difficult road to the light of salvation and the hope of restoration to wholeness and integrity and cleanliness and purity and sanity and wellbeing.

Hello,

It is sad to know that your experience with life was the way it has been. It is even sadder to know that those experiences represent the norm.

Essentially society lacks the most basic form of compassion for self and others. We are taught to be this way and that will not change quickly.

In a way, awakening is becomeing aware of such things, doing your best with it, and finding ways to be happy in a world where most are miserable.

We all have that free choice to find our well being or not. The key being a balanced mind, body, and spirit. Most will never make that effort. However some do and they stand out in a crowd because of that.

John
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  #34  
Old 16-07-2019, 09:58 PM
BJAsapace BJAsapace is offline
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Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 175
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little.nation
My experience

I was put into a comatose trance at a young age by satan. I was being groomed for lifelong rape and sexual abuse and sexual torture. Among other great evils.

At 13 years old, I disclosed sexual abuse for the first time.
Guess where I was sent to? Psychiatry. I was told that I was depressed.

At 14 years old, in the 8th grade, I conceived my first child. Toward the end of my pregnancy I disclosed more sexual abuse... much more serious sexual abuse (the sort that excites some people but makes others homicidal).

At 15 years old I went into foster care and disclosed more sexual abuse. I was given drugs and a bunch of fake mental illness diagnoses.

I'm 43 years old now. I'm extremely homicidal, suicidal, wrathful. I've been raped, tortured, brutalized, vulgarized and worse. I am not now, never have been, and never will be "mentally ill".

I emerged from psychiatric indoctrination, brainwash and mind control in my 30's only to be subjected to "school" in Hell where I endured massive onslaught of blasting, bombardment, spiritual awakening and quickening.

I'm extraordinarily and extremely spiritual (and I absolutely abhor, loathe and despise it).

People CAN hear your thoughts. Not only can they hear your thoughts, they can speak YOUR thoughts out of THEIR mouths (just as other people's unwelcome, unwanted thoughts come out of MY mouth). Most of those people are clueless. They do not know, let alone understand.

There are no boundaries in an interconnected mind.

This is not normal spirituality. It is extremely adverse (evil). The unforgiveable sin is blasphemy of the holy spirit which is an exquisite way of saying that a shattered mind has no repair, ever.

It's almost impossible to ever resolve the mind - and spirit - because it's all much too vast. Way way way too vast.

There's only one atmosphere and there's only one gigantic space of consciousness. We are billions of minds all sharing an interconnected space inside of one. But like the atmosphere has layers (troposphere, ionosphere, magnetosphere, etc) the mind has dimensions or planes. The higher planes are heaven. The lower planes are Hell.

You could have connections in different dimensions but not have the knowledge to understand it. The vast majority of people lack a full, cognizant understanding of the mind and spirit. There are so many levels, dimensions, angles...

So-called mental illness is fake. That doesn't mean that people don't suffer. It means that the way human suffering is framed and conceptualized, and the way it's treated and responded to, is all wrong.

I see a lot of adverse sinister spirit in people. The world calls it psychotic and psychosis and psychopathic. All of those words are some sort of utility but the TRUTH is that this sort of behavior and mentality and consciousness is ADVERSE EVIL SPIRIT. It's like this, in my structure: psychiatry is the house of darkness. The word of god is the house of light. Psychiatry denies spirit and uses language and terminology of utility but scripture is the truth of spirit and is the only thing on earth that gives clarity and understanding.

It's just tragic that it's clarity and understanding of sin and evil and a very difficult road to the light of salvation and the hope of restoration to wholeness and integrity and cleanliness and purity and sanity and wellbeing.

I'm really sorry to hear that, I feel your pain.
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  #35  
Old 17-07-2019, 01:17 AM
BigJohn BigJohn is offline
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Location: I live in a house.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
...... The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.

From my own experiences, I think you are giving some people too much credit.

For example, I used to go to meetings and some of the people would say such things as "I see around your aura....." or "I see some love ones around you......". I actually thought they physically saw these things. One day I mention I physically see auras and a few times have physically seen chakras only to be told "We do not see physically these things..... only crazy people do." This is when I realized I had been giving these people too much credit for gifts in many cases they did not have or were lacking.

Another area I gave too much emphasize to people was in the area of messages. I noticed if I leaned forward in the chair and cupped my chin with my hands, the reader would almost always claim I was depressed: Instead I would be releasing pressure on my lower back which I broke in 2 different places.
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  #36  
Old 17-07-2019, 02:32 PM
7luminaries 7luminaries is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John32241
Hello,

It is sad to know that your experience with life was the way it has been. It is even sadder to know that those experiences represent the norm.

Essentially society lacks the most basic form of compassion for self and others. We are taught to be this way and that will not change quickly.

In a way, awakening is becomeing aware of such things, doing your best with it, and finding ways to be happy in a world where most are miserable.

We all have that free choice to find our well being or not. The key being a balanced mind, body, and spirit. Most will never make that effort. However some do and they stand out in a crowd because of that.

John

LittleNation, I'm so sorry for your troubles. I agree with John, above. This is the world we live in and we are increasingly instructed as a society that apathy and cruelty (in all their various forms) are normative and to be expected, which itself is a great and insidious misalignment and wrongdoing.

Becoming aware means realising and accepting the state of our reality, vile and unsavoury as it may be. This is absolutely necessary, in order to move forward consciously in a different way, toward love and compassion and ownership and right-alignment in spirit.

You are aware of the truth of our reality on the ground, having lived it. Your voice is important, and I honour that. And caring for yourself is important too. You are a child of the universe and you have a place at the table. Your task is to be present to the truth of who you are...same as all the rest of us. And regardless of what has been put upon you -- which was unwanted and which is deeply misaligned -- the truth of who you are is a beautiful thing.

Peace & blessings
7L
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Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.

Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.

For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way

and become themselves despite all opposition.

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  #37  
Old 30-07-2019, 12:10 PM
Emm Emm is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,406
 
Hi BJAsapace

Just wanted to reiterate what others have said and thats to forget the labels...don't think in terms of spirituality or mental illness but instead get to understand and know your own energy...get to sense what you're feeling then find the next step up from that. Work one step up at a time, its impossible to go from depression to happy. For instance, if you feel depressed, anger could be the next step upward simply because its a good motivator whereas depression saps your energy.

Simply put, you need to work on getting yourself feeling Good about yourself. Our reality is but our minds reflection...what you're hearing is where your energy is sitting at the moment...rise above that and those voices of criticism will disappear. Its not easy I know but it can be done. Our thoughts today are the building blocks for tomorrows reality, literally. Listen to your own voice and decide whether you're happy with what you're thinking...if its not to your liking choose a better thought. Look at it this way...what you think and feel ECHOES ...it comes back to you so make sure its what you want to experience lol. There's nothing to be afraid of its only you and your reflection.

I had a Kundalini awakening in 2012 too so know about the strangeness of opening up to other realities...most have calmed down now, I think by getting to understand the why's and letting go of limiting beliefs helped too.
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  #38  
Old 19-08-2019, 10:06 AM
Strangerthanfiction Strangerthanfiction is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: On Gaia.
Posts: 125
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up. 7 years of being mentally ill has really taken its' toll on my life, although I do like some of the concepts, it hasn't helped my state of mind, if anything it made it worse. I've had a messed up life, but it also makes me wanna be a better person yet i feel so self-contradicting inside, it f*cking hurts a lot of the time. The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.

I'm really sorry for this. I definitely can relate to some of the things you say. Do you have intrusive thoughts aswell? The reason i ask this is because i'm in a similar situation to you. You're definitely not alone. Do you dislike going to grocery stores because of this? I prefer small grocery stores because there isn't as many people there so my mind feel safe. I too can relate to many other things you said. If you feel subjective voices from inside it could be a variety of reasons. Mind pops is one of them. A phenomenon not very studied by psychologists. Its more common in creative people then others. Its the subconsciousness speaking. Its always active. If you hear subjective voices i suggest you pay attention to if different scenarios affect the "mind pops" differently. Seriously wish you the best. I know what suffering is like.
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  #39  
Old 03-09-2019, 08:09 PM
Truth307 Truth307 is offline
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Therapy

Quote:
Originally Posted by BJAsapace
I'm manic a lot of the time, feel like people can hear me think, schizoazffective, "delusional." I thought religion or spirituality would help but it really doesn't, it makes me feel a whole lot worse about myself and condition I'm in. I regret ever knowing about religion and spirituality, I want to feel mundane again. But at the same time it has made the unconscious conscious which makes me feel even worse because my mental health and mania really f*ck me up. 7 years of being mentally ill has really taken its' toll on my life, although I do like some of the concepts, it hasn't helped my state of mind, if anything it made it worse. I've had a messed up life, but it also makes me wanna be a better person yet i feel so self-contradicting inside, it f*cking hurts a lot of the time. The fact I feel people hear me think is what really messed me and my world up, it's one of the main causes of my depression, anxiety and voices aside from feeling guilty bout my past. In a way I'm venting, yet I'm curious as to why spirituality doesn't really help.

Hi. You need to get therapy, if you haven’t yet then get on it straight away.

Therapists actually acknowledge the fact that believing in God, and hence, more than just what we see, is NORMAL. They also encourage Meditation and visualization.

Don’t assume you read minds. Assume that you cannot. Even if you had a power where u could, who cares? What others think of is none of our business. We are on our Own journey and life path.

Assume that you can NOT mind read, and get on with your life, stop focusing on others and focus on and get on with Living your Own Life.

If you feel energies, it could even be of your own making or you could just be picking up on the pain (negative energies) of others. Do not not assume, that a rule of mental health.

Get therapy, it will help you a lot. I’m also spiritual and it helps me immensely. Everyone can benefit from therapy.
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