This experience.... - Page 2

#11 02-04-2013, 04:55 PM

I have never heard of leve 7 soulmates. Would like to know more about this as well.

I know I need to have faith and trust but it so hard. I'm still trying to understand why it's so easy for some people to just deny their true feelings. I know I have a hard time doing so. I tried my hardest to remain very casual around my SM this weekend. It wasn't easy at all and it probably showed anyways that I still care.

#12 02-04-2013, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spirit25

I have never heard of leve 7 soulmates. Would like to know more about this as well.

I know I need to have faith and trust but it so hard. I'm still trying to understand why it's so easy for some people to just deny their true feelings. I know I have a hard time doing so. I tried my hardest to remain very casual around my SM this weekend. It wasn't easy at all and it probably showed anyways that I still care.

Spirit25, it's level 7 soul. One of the soul levels. lol

I don't pay much attention to soul levels. I just use the young or old soul terminology.

Impulsv · #13 02-04-2013, 05:32 PM

Mmm denying, no maybe just accepting that he has his path to follow n it may not include me. Respecting his choice n being in full acceptance of it because if that make him happy he has a right to it. Don't want to cause feeling of guilt by me being all sad around him. I still go through hurt but its becoming less n less as I remind myself of that truth. But that's now, who knows how ill be when I see him again if I see him.

#14 02-04-2013, 05:41 PM

I feel so vulnerable, used to think that emotions are irrelevant,
this experience humbles me, because ONE person, it takes only one person to make me face the biggest challenge of my life. I couldn't abandon or leave him, my heart literally aches, so i have to face the experience, and it's humbling. Not everything is in my control.
Sometimes (the cycle is once in 2 days) i could just crumble, drop everything i do, go to a quiet place just to cry and get it back together.

**** What you wrote above resonated with me!
Yes, it does make you feel extremely vulnerable, and makes you realize that the whole thing is beyond your control, which can be totally scary....But once you surrender to that, and accept it for what it is, things get easier, and don't feel so overwhelming

And I totally understand that feeling of wanting to just curl up & cry...I've had many of those days myself! But what I found when I did have those days is that it didn't help at all. It only made me feel worse, and seemed to magnify all the negative

That also made my TF feel bad, because he knew how much I was hurting....
I know it's hard sometimes, but you have to try to keep the faith, and trust that the Universe will make things happen in their proper time. *****

#15 02-04-2013, 05:47 PM

I really think it is time once and for all to move on as much as possible. I need to realize once and for all I will never be with him again. I made that choice to end things whether he pushed me to do or not. It was my choice, my actions and now I must accept it and pay the price.

I'm just tired of dealing with the pain of it all. The constant longing for him. It's not doing me any good. It's time to let go of the fantasy and realize that time with him is over. It has been for sometime. Time to heal and let go of him and find someone who I can be with in the physical when I am ready to do so. I'm causing myself the pain by not letting go, it isn't him that is doing it to me. Only I have the control to say enough is enough and move on.

#16 02-04-2013, 05:58 PM

It's not doing me any good. It's time to let go of the fantasy and realize that time with him is over. It has been for sometime. Time to heal and let go of him and find someone who I can be with in the physical when I am ready to do so. I'm causing myself the pain by not letting go, it isn't him that is doing it to me. Only I have the control to say enough is enough and move on.

*** Bravo! It takes a lot of inner courage & strength to admit that to yourself. You deserve to be happy

****

#17 02-04-2013, 06:03 PM

I know I deserve better. Whether he is still denying/running from his love from me, or he has truly moved on from me, I deserve better despite my mistakes with him. I shouldn't have to chase after him anymore. If he really was ready and wanted to be with me, then he would be. He would have made the effort to let me know this weekend he still cares but he hasn't. It's hard to admit that but it's true. If he wants me he will have to step up. I'm tired of putting in all the effort. Time for me to back off and move on as much as I can.

Impulsv · #18 02-04-2013, 06:08 PM

I don't know your story. In my point of view he ended it so I'm respecting his choice this I won't make him uncomfortable by expressing my continued love. But if he said I made a mistake can we try I'd welcome him with open arms. So maybe both are in a stand still. Him waiting for u , u waiting for a sign. But maybe its you who must open up n tell him ur error without expectation. But it sounds like your saying you've done that as you say uved chased him. But either way a different perspective from the side of the one left n acting non chalant. Never because I stopped loving him but rather because I accept his Choice.

#19 02-04-2013, 06:14 PM

I've sent him a few emails over the last couples years (only way to contact him) telling him how I truly felt and taking responsibility for my mistakes. I told him I forgave him and don't hold anything against him. Whether he read those emails, I have no idea. That is my view of chasing him. I believe I did my part, ball has always been in his court. This weekend I was the best version of myself that can be and acted friendly, and not in agressive manner at all. I did give him a friendly hug goodbye and wished him a safe trip home. Nothing else can be done from my end.

Impulsv · #20 02-04-2013, 06:26 PM

You've said ur sorry apologized n forgave him. You did all you can do sometimes it has nothing to do with us n its them. Maybe his lesson is to forgive someone who abandoned him. Ur not his mother but I'm sure he correlated it to his abandonment from his mother. We can only imagine his fears n he's must work thoroughly them. N that needed to happen perhaps for him to deal with them. Things happen for a reason :) he may need time to deal with that or may never learn that lesson. But take care of u now. Be at peace as you've done all you could. The ball is on his court n that is to forgive.