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  #21  
Old 15-01-2017, 05:14 PM
Debrah Debrah is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidsun
Hello again, Debrah -


Writing back and forth is such a clumsy means of communication compared to a verbal tête-à-tête whereby clarifications can be immediately asked for and made, but it is what’s on the menu, so let’s make the best of it:
..........

I don’t know where you are presently living, but even if there are no LBL therapists there, my thought is that you should be able to find a reputable hypnotherapist who would a least enable you to experience the kind of ‘deep trance’ wherein you could/would experience the deeply peaceful, inherently relaxing and so therapeutic state referenced above. Do be sure to check out the references of any such hypnotherapist first, however.

I hope something in what I have written is of some service to you, Debrah. For what it may be worth, let me close by also saying that it is my personal felt-‘sense’ that you, dear one, have suffered enough!




First of all, let me start by saying that either you have a crystal ball tucked away in the corner of your office or you have ‘the gift’ because much of what you said was so close if not right on the money.

At the same time, I don’t want to give the impression that I’ve had a hard life, it has been remarkably, quite the opposite. Healthy children, loving husband, a comfortable life, the opportunity to pursue interests and curiosities……what more could a person ask?

Not being one to lay blame or look for excuses, I can only say, that whatever mental or emotional discomfort I may experience in life is ‘all me’.

If you’ve ever read Neal Donald Walsh’s writings, you will know that he says that we will each have a moment of ‘life review’ and that we will watch it somewhat dispassionately, more as an exercise of learning to understand the other guy’s side as well as our own perspective. I recently came to the conclusion that I can skip that part of the next life experience because I seem to be doing it now, only not dispassionately but with a grief and sorrow at every one of those instances of unhappy interaction, that were I Catholic, I could say that I live in purgatory now.

I hasten to add that I have not, nor have ever been a ‘monster’ who walks on the fringes of society, but just a wife to a good man and a mom raising a couple kids and trying to keep things balanced and moving forward in life. And yet, like all of us, there have been those moments where I didn’t meet my own standards…..and I’m so sorry. Daily and repeatedly.

I read a little verse, supposedly from the Bhagavad Gita that says, ‘When you feel the suffering of every living thing in your own heart, that’s consciousness. I must be extremely conscious even though I have no ‘gifts’ if that is truth.

And you’re probably right too in suggesting ‘outside help’, but living in a little town on a little island where most people don’t even have a regular family doctor makes any suggestion of that nature problematic. But I say this in total honesty David, that just chatting a moment as I have with you (and with Baile) helps a lot. Maybe in part, that is the ‘secret’ of talk therapy, to be able to tell another who doesn’t have a vested interest, how ones heart hurts, just a little bit so that some of the pressure is relieved. So I thank you, for the thoughts, the concern and for the hugs.

Debby.
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  #22  
Old 16-01-2017, 01:41 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Debrah
Not being one to lay blame or look for excuses, I can only say, that whatever mental or emotional discomfort I may experience in life is ‘all me’.
Debrah, I had a stress depression meltdown in my 40s, took almost ten years before I got back to normal. But I'm not the same anymore. Before my breakdown, I thought spirituality was all about filling my head with belief-explanations regarding the makeup of existence and purpose of incarnation. In retrospect I see it was my spiritual-religious fanaticism that caused my breakdown. Healing my depression involved also letting go of my intellectual spiritual-belief projections. Like tossing out the months-old take-out food containers from the fridge.

My path is now one of absolute and complete focus on one thing: my personal self-development. Taking account of the way I think, the way I behave, so as to make sure I'm not deflecting and avoiding my life lessons, and/or projecting my stuff on others. Sounds to me you're on the same consciousness path. You're doing "spirituality" just fine, perfect in fact!
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  #23  
Old 16-01-2017, 11:53 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baile
Debrah, ... You're doing "spirituality" just fine, perfect in fact!
Ditto, woman!
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  #24  
Old 17-01-2017, 07:43 PM
Debrah Debrah is offline
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Thanks folks, appreciate your kindness very much.

Baille, do you think too that much of our personal angst comes because we have expectations of our world, the people in it, the way society 'should go' that results in such disappointment that we sometimes get floored by it?

I think so and learning to let go of those expectations, along with the other things you mentioned (taking account of how I think, behave, etc.,) has helped a bit too. Mind you, turn on the news any evening of the week and you're bound to say ***! over some new nastiness that this group or that group has come up with or inflicted on someone and there you go again, expectations blown one more time. Oh well, life will go on until it doesn't and in the meantime, not to get too wound up by it all and be the best you (or I) can envision for ourselves!

A parable that I read somewhere (and maybe you'll recognize it) is always an encouragement to me:

A Buddhist man, living in a small village, tended his garden, was kind and generous to all. One day a young girls family came and accused him of involvement with their daughter and that she'd become pregnant as a result. They demanded that he look after this child that would result from his interference with the girl, and despite not being the child's father, he agreed for the sake of peace.

Time went by, the baby grew and the Buddhist man raised him and taught him and gave him the love and security he needed to feel safe. In the meantime, the girl grew up, became a young woman and still loved the young man who now had prospects and who was the baby's real father. Now that they were older they wanted to wed and wanted to have their child back and so they went to the old Buddhist man and demanded that he return the child.

Without argument, he hugged the little child, whispered in his ear that he loved him and returned the child to his real parents. For the sake of love and peace in those instances, he chose to do what was needed.

When I'm feeling frazzled and want to crash and burn in anger or despair, I try to remember that Buddhist man and let 'him' guide me in my responses.

This has been a delightful conversation and I sincerely hope that wherever you are, peace and love will be with you.
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  #25  
Old 17-01-2017, 08:22 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Debrah
When I'm feeling frazzled and want to crash and burn in anger or despair, I try to remember that Buddhist man and let 'him' guide me in my responses.
My favorite folk tale, I used to direct fairy tale theater for children:

A hermit priest lived in solitude high up the mountain, away from the village. Every spring, when the cherry blossoms appeared, people from the village would travel up the mountain to view the cherry trees in bloom. This disturbed the priest's solitude, and in anger he cursed the cherry trees. The Spirit of the Cherry Tree then appeared and spoke to the priest:

"Whether you see a bothersome crowd or a beautiful vista, the cherry trees are not to blame."
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  #26  
Old 17-01-2017, 08:59 PM
Baile Baile is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Debrah
Baille, do you think too that much of our personal angst comes because we have expectations of our world, the people in it, the way society 'should go' that results in such disappointment that we sometimes get floored by it?
I wanted to let that magnificent Korean tale stand on its own without further commentary! That story was an epiphany for me back in my 30s. As life-changing as any spiritual truth I ever read about or learned at spiritual school. It is self-realization wisdom of the highest order. What I see and how I react, is what I choose. And it only ever reflects everything about me, and not the thing I am observing.

Another epiphany I had around the same time was this: Life is a miracle. Incarnation is a gift. I do a disservice to life and my soul path when I go to dark negative places and stay there. And so I made a commitment to myself and life that I would wake each morning with joy and gratitude in my heart. That was 30 years ago and I still wake up each morning and happily bounce out of bed.

Sure I can get upset about things. But whereas I used to wallow in dark places for days, it is now for just a few brief moments, if and when it even happens at all anymore. And yes I have expectations. I'm pretty demanding that way actually, being Aries and all that. But nothing extreme, I simply expect people to be polite and thoughtful. Like don't talk loud on your cellphone in public stuff. Things used to bother me, and some still do. But I now move on if my expectations aren't met. I walk away.

I have had to walk away from a number of judgmental people in my life. Judgments were killing me, making me sick in my soul. I had to change the way I dealt with such people. So I don't get mad now, nor do I frustrate myself and hang around and try to convince people to change their way of being. Which leads to having very few people in my life. But that's also the path of the hermit priest in esoteric terms, and I understand that and accept it.

I got rid of my TV in the 1990s by the way. The easiest way not to get mad at the news. I'm more practical than spiritual in many ways! Thanks Debrah.
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  #27  
Old 18-01-2017, 09:41 AM
Baile Baile is offline
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Debrah, I realize I tend to rant rather than converse, it's just I get excited when I meet conscious and like-minded others like yourself and davidsun. It's rare, even on the internet. (Particularly on the internet?) I'll try and keep it down to a dull roar as my music teacher used to instruct the class.
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  #28  
Old 18-01-2017, 02:29 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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For everyone/anyone reading this 'super' thread:

"I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being." (Hafez)
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  #29  
Old 18-01-2017, 03:06 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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“The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope.”
― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Great video: https://youtu.be/0olojBcKOm0
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  #30  
Old 19-01-2017, 12:51 AM
Debrah Debrah is offline
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You're right, it is a great video....such a message of hope and kindness. Gets the message across without any really harsh scenes.

And I'm pretty sure that somewhere along the way I've read something else written by Hafez. The name seemed instantly familiar. Probably some meme that I've read on FB and it stuck in my mind. And the sentiment is lovely too.
Sometimes it's hard to see ourselves.
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