Do you ever feel that God is playing you for an idiot?

[Honza]

Increasingly over the years I have begun to feel that reality and God is just playing stupid games with me. My feeling is that the gist of these 'games' is to encourage me to EMPOWER myself and be self dependent. It is like these foolish games are telling me the folly of being too dependent upon others.

It really hurts! The most sad and pathetic situations arise whereby I am cornered into asserting my own Godhood. But the trouble is I am in the dark and I am never sure what is going on. It is like being deeply disrespected by God.

[Aquamarine]

I don't know what exactly the situations are, but somehow it feels like I get the sense that you are being too hard on yourself. You are only human. We make mistakes. You can't know everything.

I think that accepting our humanity is part of accepting God.

I don't know if that applies, but this is what I am sensing for some reason.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Honza

Increasingly over the years I have begun to feel that reality and God is just playing stupid games with me. My feeling is that the gist of these 'games' is to encourage me to EMPOWER myself and be self dependent. It is like these foolish games are telling me the folly of being too dependent upon others.

It really hurts! The most sad and pathetic situations arise whereby I am cornered into asserting my own Godhood. But the trouble is I am in the dark and I am never sure what is going on. It is like being deeply disrespected by God.

Do I ever feel like God is playing me for a fool? ALL THE TIME, but that's just God being God...you get used to it after a while.

Ever thought about becoming an Atheist? Your life will get less complicated.

[Shivani Devi]

Also there's one more thing..

You don't have to or need to let other people corner you into asserting your own godhood if that's not what you truly believe in your heart.

I had to learn that lesson the hard way myself.

You love God, right? You may love yourself too...but you know deep down that loving yourself and loving God are two different things...like chalk and cheese they are.

People try to tell me that I am God too and to 'become that which I love', thus negating God's existence into total non-existence...into a void...into nothingness...or even *gasp* into bliss.

I know, I honestly know in my heart of hearts that if I love God enough as being not what I am or who "I am not" and if I love Him with all my heart and soul as just being God...as existing both in my heart and out of it and fully surrendering myself at His feet, He will do what is best for me...take me where I need to go.

Yeah, I love Him, but I don't surrender myself as often as I should to Him...I don't open myself up in prayer as often as I should and I don't allow myself to just sit in silence...appreciate nature...do all those things that show just how much I love Him as often as I should and hence why I suffer and I'm miserable, thinking that He is playing me for an idiot too.

It takes time, it takes patience and it often takes total seclusion from others...even so-called 'spiritual people' on a 'spiritual forum' to reach that awareness within and often, while ever you listen to others, you will never find yourself.... sad, but true.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Honza

Increasingly over the years I have begun to feel that reality and God is just playing stupid games with me. My feeling is that the gist of these 'games' is to encourage me to EMPOWER myself and be self dependent. It is like these foolish games are telling me the folly of being too dependent upon others.

It really hurts! The most sad and pathetic situations arise whereby I am cornered into asserting my own Godhood. But the trouble is I am in the dark and I am never sure what is going on. It is like being deeply disrespected by God.

unfortunately it isn't as easy as being in a human classroom, where you are told what to say and then they measure how well you can say it.

God seems determined to let us make our own choices even insofar as how we want to view the lessons that are offered.

I used to wail so much about the fact that nothing I was told meant anything, that it just came down to whatever it is I wanted to believe. I wouldn't be told the 'right' answer! I wanted to KNOW what it is not BELIEVE some random idea of what it is! But that is beyond God's plans for me apparently...

as far as the others it does seem there is some folly being too dependent... it seemed to me like it was one of the greater lessons to learn about... If you keep going you might eventually learn to name why... chains that bind... Well they did promise we would know the truth, and the truth would set us free!

[Honza]

Thankyou for the thoughtful answers!

[Dargor]

My issue with God is that it certainly feels like that he doesn't treat everyone equally...

[AlwaysDayAfterYesterday]

Originally Posted by Honza

Increasingly over the years I have begun to feel that reality and God is just playing stupid games with me. My feeling is that the gist of these 'games' is to encourage me to EMPOWER myself and be self dependent. It is like these foolish games are telling me the folly of being too dependent upon others.

It really hurts! The most sad and pathetic situations arise whereby I am cornered into asserting my own Godhood. But the trouble is I am in the dark and I am never sure what is going on. It is like being deeply disrespected by God.

You can't know God until you conquer your own image of him.

"Do we cast blame on him [God] because we were not made gods from the beginning, but were at first created merely as men, and then later as gods? Although God has adopted this course out of his pure benevolence, that no one may charge him with discrimination or stinginess, he declares, "I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are sons of the Most High." ... For it was necessary at first that nature be exhibited, then after that what was mortal would be conquered and swallowed up in immortality. Irenaeus "


The essence of this is to realize who it is you are calling God. Identity must eventually resolve to you. To accomplish this, you are negating all things, yet confirming them. Use Tantra as an example. In tantric systems, the text you venerate will include the throne of the God you worship. With all Tantric rituals, the text becomes the body (you). This is known as divinisation. You can realize this easily by seeing it this way: Do you know a Catholic by the text they venerate? Do you know an American by the constitution they follow? Do you know a Hindu by the Vedas they use for religious practice? Do you know a Spiritual person by the ritual of meditation? In these cases, the text becomes the body we develop. An athlete is known by the body they develop. Look up the word divinisation.

Why do you see a trick in this? Once you gain enough mental mastery over any tantric body you develop, you will see the inherent flaw in the relative system. The flaw is both in you and in the system used to discover it. This is know in the world of Zen as sickness and medicine. Both are used as expedient means to bring you to the higher truth of mastery over both. There are two aphorisms that outline this: Sickness and medicine cancel each other. The same hand that gives sickness is the same hand that gives medicine. Who owns the hand? YOU!

Consider it this way: If you are fatigued, who worked you too hard? You. This is sickness. What is the medicine for fatigue? Rest. Who gave you the rest? You. If you were to go to sleep at a set time, wake at a set time and regulate your work, would you experience a higher virtue? Yes. This is mastery over the mean. All virtues are prerequisite. You cannot have peace without being peaceful. In the case of the 'trick' you are experiencing, the joker is you.

Consider these examples from my own reasoning on this subject: LINK

Life is about experience and individuation. Each body you master is a new ability you use to rule (self-govern). The process is called expedient means. The means is not the destination. Expedient means are not necessarily moral or ethical. Necessity is an imbalance (suffering = Dukkha). Dukkha (Pāli; Sanskrit: duḥkha; Tibetan: སྡུག་བསྔལ་ sdug bsngal, pr. "duk-ngel") is an important Buddhist concept, commonly translated as "suffering", "pain" or "unsatisfactoriness".

Dukkha is more like a wheel out of balance. You are required to become the master of the spokes. Each body you conquer is another bike you ride. Suffering practice is necessary. Learn to ride a bike and move on to a car. You might look back at the bike as less of a vehicle (body). What was the trick to riding? Balance. This is translational symmetry of invariance. Invariance never changes, but your translation does. This is required for balance. It's not a trick, but the process to rise to new bodies and modes of existence. Rising to new life requires baptism into a body. There are more bodies than the one you use as the primary took (Buddha Body). BUDH in Sanskrit means to awaken.

In order to drive a car, you are not first tricked into riding a bike. Bikes are expedient means to higher forms of travel, just as lower contradictions are necessity to higher forms of reason and axioms of truth. While a lower form of truth seems childish after learning the higher truth, so the mind must use expediency to find the higher axiom. You can't do Calculus without knowing basic math.

Only a God can worship God. Seeking divinity is the process to know yourself. Negate all things that do not belong by conquering them with mastery. Rule self as a King to know God inside. God is the goal, not a single person.

It really hurts! The most sad and pathetic situations arise whereby I am cornered into asserting my own Godhood. But the trouble is I am in the dark and I am never sure what is going on. It is like being deeply disrespected by God.

You are the dweller on the threshold. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ln-H2HV6o0 The concept you aim for is the one you become. LOVE is the greatest virtue and concept of all. God is Love. Truth is this simple. Become what God is. In the mean time, expedient means by sickness and medicine. God is neutral / positive (Dzogchen - ZEN). To be neutral, relative must be equalized. To be positive at all times, negative must be conquered. It's always you.


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[Shivani Devi]

You can't know God until you conquer your own image of him.

Or you just realise 'He' goes way beyond your own image of 'Him' whilst still being totally aware of that image. ;)

This is called 'qualified non-dualism' or bedha-abheda.

God isn't restricted to conceptual thought, but the way we perceive God is only a small facet of 'His' representation.

It's no different to one person 'knowing' another, but that does not mean the other person ceases to exist because they cannot fully be 'known'.

Budh in Sanskrit simply means 'intellect' or 'mindstuff' it does not mean to awaken. Awakening does not require any intellect whatsoever.

There are those who will negate (neti neti) and those who will include (iti iti). I used to belong to the former camp, but now I belong to the latter...and yet I shall still continue to worship the saguna aspect of a formless being because that's how all the love is felt when identity resolves to include everything beyond self.

...and I'm also Tantric.

[AlwaysDayAfterYesterday]

Budh in Sanskrit simply means 'intellect' or 'mindstuff' it does not mean to awaken. Awakening does not require any intellect whatsoever.

BUDH in Sanskirt: From the Princeton Dictionary of Buddhism: buddha. (T. sangs rgyas; C. fo; J. butsu/hotoke; K. pul 佛). In Sanskrit and Pāli,
“awakened one” or “enlightened one”; an epithet derived from the Sanskrit root
√budh, meaning “to awaken” or “to open up” (as does a flower) and thus
traditionally etymologized as one who has awakened from the deep sleep of
ignorance and opened his consciousness to encompass all objects of knowledge.
.