My amazing journey

It all started in the year 2000 when I broke up with my fiancé. I have always had a spiritual inclination. I started going to the Ashram in Oakland CA. I participated in a shaktipat intensive. Initially this was a very pleasant experience. However, about two weeks later, I had an abrupt opening. I had been having trouble sleeping for a couple of days, when in the middle of the night I had a sudden movement in my kidneys. This really set me into a panic. The next morning when I got up, energy started rushing up my spine into my head. I called my parents for help. I ended up seeing a doctor and stopping Siddha Yoga altogether. About two and a half years later I started up my practice again. My practice was very intense this time around. I would chant the Guru Gita for an hour in the morning followed by meditation. During my meditations I would see the blue pearl and would experience spontaneous movements called kriyas, at the time they would mostly occur in my heart chakra and my third eye chakra. About three months later, I started experiencing energy shooting out of the top of my head towards the sky. This was very intense. While these things were happening to me I was focused on Gurumayi and Muktananda and Nityananda.
I was starting to feel very supernatural at this time.

These energy movements spiraled out of control to the point that I had to be hospitalized. I had not been eating or sleeping for nearly two weeks. I was close to death. I would be lying in bed paralyzed with energy piercing my skull and spine and my mind would be racing out of control. I felt the presence of Gurumayi at this time. About a week later I came to my senses enough to get out of the hospital without medication. I was hearing a voice at this point, which claimed to be Gurumayi! I thought that everything that had happened to me had been a spiritual cleansing. The voice that claimed to be Gurumayi was, interfearing with everything that I did. I was very weak and would eat very little. A week later I moved back to my house to get ready for my wifes return. When my wife got back, things did not go well at all. The voice that claimed to be Gurumayi, got in the way of everything that I did. For a while I listened to the voice, thinking that she was a spiritual authority. This voice was not very nice to me at times and because she was always in the way I started to not believe in her. I started to eat meat and the voice became very angry. I decided to see a doctor to see if they could help me. I tried various medications over the next three years, which helped me to sleep, but did not get rid of the voice that claimed to be gurumayi. I should say that the voice did not sound like Gurumayi, but it definitely had her energy and presence which would vary throughout the day. My wife left the house on good terms with me at this time. I decided to taper off the meds at this time to see what would happen. The voice revealed itself to be Muktananda at this time, but the energy and presence of this powerfull voice did not seem like muktananda. At this time I began to experience very powerfull kryas and heat all over my body and my energy was completely opened up to this entity now. He could completely posess me! He then revealed himself to be a siddha master and not Muktananda. He had the ability to make me dance and feel the presence of people from a distance instantly. He could even get me to whistle, and I don’t know how to whistle! He has the ability to think of Gurumayi and me at the same time which explains why I felt her presence all the time. Also Gurumayi has been in hiding, relatively speaking, for the most part for the same amount of time that this has been happening to me!
With all of his powers, I still do not want him around, but he wont leave me alone. For this reason I know that he is a bad siddha. I have gone back on the medications to help keep him away from me, but he can still posess me. I pray to god all the time.
I know this story sounds crazy! but there really is a bad siddha up there that is completely psychotic towards me and Gurumayi!
God Bless
Jason rothschild

[kris]

I suggest that you take vacation from all the gurus for a while and pay attention to reason.