Torn in 2 directions

[Inika]

I challenge everyone here who has a tf that is married or is a tf that is married to come clean to partner today/tonight. I also challenge everyone who claims to have or be in a tf connection to come clean to them that they are a twin to them.

honesty is the best and only policy.

come out of the hiding closet and straight up in the most simple words say it......no 'i kind of told them by giving a song about it' no no oh no....you say I am your twin flame/soul and you are my twin flame/soul.

and if they or you are married.....you all tell your spouses.

today/tonight...

its the challenge.

of course.....you could lie...say you did, make a story up. this is internet. and most will ignore this....but yeah....pfft!!!

[Inika]

many come here with lines of 'i think this is my twin'

or 'could this be my twin'

followed by elaborate stories of why they believe it. they never however talk about approaching the other and saying it.

if so its always elusive....'i kind of told them'
he knows because i posted a link about twins and i know he saw it....etc...

thats not good enough.

Neurotypical's can't lie straight in bed,point blank.

[Inika]

twisty....

[Tortoise Walks]

Dear Lerxst,

Tough place to be to be sure. Hugs!!! I know I need them... many times. Especially with much of the social programming and judgement that one’s spouse is supposed to be “everything” in terms of connection, passion, and intimicy (not limited to sexual) as well as the frequent need for a marriage to be “protected” ~read~ isolated from the influence of others in order to keep it going. Including soul connection/s that trigger...

I’m married long term (as is a SC I met 5+ years ago). We’ve (in our own ways) been figuring out how to best proceed (or not) in light of this seeming persistant connection. My personal situation is different as before I met SC my marriage had already been upended/rewritten from what our original preconcieved notions of what marriage is. That is it’s own long story but it did “ultimately” provide me with a foundation of sharing our truths as best we can... regardless of the fears of what might happen. Let each decide what is best for themselves. It is out of my control if the truth leads to either of us parting ways for whatever reason but sharing authentically who I am is my bit to take on. I found peace and internal guidance in that.

There is no guarantee on anything... and that’s the tricky part. The scary part. Especially with respect to relationships and marriage. And people can and do grow, get hurt and exposed to their own baggage, emotions, feelings and thoughts as well as their partners. Tough stuff. I’d like to believe that if there is a foundation of love for each other there is strength to explore what is true to each... or strength to let our loves discover who we are especially when it is challenging. If relationships change and evolve and perhaps end... I can only wish that it is ultimately for the best of everyone.

There are things to learn any way you choose your path. The big question for me has been... can I be fully and completely my self? Can I share who that is with the people that mean the most to me? Relationships are to mutually benefit both people not just to make one safe to the detriment of the sef expression and sef discovery of the other.

We can be witnesses to each other in relationship... in marriage... to grow if we allow it. If there is room for that kind of authentic beingness.

TW

[jazzy911]

Torn in 2 directions. Story of my life.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by Inika

I challenge everyone here who has a tf that is married or is a tf that is married to come clean to partner today/tonight. I also challenge everyone who claims to have or be in a tf connection to come clean to them that they are a twin to them.

honesty is the best and only policy.

come out of the hiding closet and straight up in the most simple words say it......no 'i kind of told them by giving a song about it' no no oh no....you say I am your twin flame/soul and you are my twin flame/soul.

and if they or you are married.....you all tell your spouses.

today/tonight...

its the challenge.

of course.....you could lie...say you did, make a story up. this is internet. and most will ignore this....but yeah....pfft!!!

I did. About a month ago I told him I felt we were twin flames.

I started by asking if he believed in spiritual things other than organized religion and if he believed in things happening for a reason.

He is accepting and happy we are twin flames, but has not dove head first into it. I explain as things come up or he has questions. It is a relief that he knows and to share it with him.

[Lerxst]

Originally Posted by Tortoise Walks

Dear Lerxst,

Tough place to be to be sure. Hugs!!! I know I need them... many times. Especially with much of the social programming and judgement that one’s spouse is supposed to be “everything” in terms of connection, passion, and intimicy (not limited to sexual) as well as the frequent need for a marriage to be “protected” ~read~ isolated from the influence of others in order to keep it going. Including soul connection/s that trigger...

I’m married long term (as is a SC I met 5+ years ago). We’ve (in our own ways) been figuring out how to best proceed (or not) in light of this seeming persistant connection. My personal situation is different as before I met SC my marriage had already been upended/rewritten from what our original preconcieved notions of what marriage is. That is it’s own long story but it did “ultimately” provide me with a foundation of sharing our truths as best we can... regardless of the fears of what might happen. Let each decide what is best for themselves. It is out of my control if the truth leads to either of us parting ways for whatever reason but sharing authentically who I am is my bit to take on. I found peace and internal guidance in that.

There is no guarantee on anything... and that’s the tricky part. The scary part. Especially with respect to relationships and marriage. And people can and do grow, get hurt and exposed to their own baggage, emotions, feelings and thoughts as well as their partners. Tough stuff. I’d like to believe that if there is a foundation of love for each other there is strength to explore what is true to each... or strength to let our loves discover who we are especially when it is challenging. If relationships change and evolve and perhaps end... I can only wish that it is ultimately for the best of everyone.

There are things to learn any way you choose your path. The big question for me has been... can I be fully and completely my self? Can I share who that is with the people that mean the most to me? Relationships are to mutually benefit both people not just to make one safe to the detriment of the sef expression and sef discovery of the other.

We can be witnesses to each other in relationship... in marriage... to grow if we allow it. If there is room for that kind of authentic beingness.

TW

Thank you. Yes... it is difficult!

As for anyone talking about honesty, know that my relationship with my wife has been built upon honesty for the past 15 consecutive years. There was a time where some lies were told on both ends, but we've gotten past that a loooong time ago.

As for my TF, I have told her about this in no uncertain terms. She agrees that there's "something there and to it". On the other hand, she's gone through catastrophic trauma in her past relationships and tends to play the role of the "runner". I don't want to get outside of her comfort zone, so I don't constantly bring up the subject, though we are both comfortable with where we presently are. I'm also not in any position to pursue the matter, so I leave it where it is.

This doesn't feel like any of those past experiences I've had, or any kind of attraction I've felt in a physical sense. I want to tell my wife about it, so we can share the feeling and happiness together. But, I also know she has some massive jealousy issues and she will never view this as a joyous event to celebrate. So this leaves me torn between potentially losing my marriage, or potentially losing my TF connection.

On the flip-side, my wife, we believe has made a similar SC in another relationship... or at least a very, very close friend. From how she's described it, it sounds spot-on, with other connections I've read about; the desire to be close, physical contact, emotionally supportive, and essentially completing her other half. The worst part about this is,... it's another woman. There's never sexual tension or inference involved when she tells me about any relationship they've built. There's never the idea of them running off together. There's never the social stigma of being seen with a member of the opposite sex who's not their spouse.

I'm also the very, very not jealous type and have given her my blessing and permission to seek elsewhere what she wants, if I can't provide it. I don't believe our relationship has ever suffered form it, and may even be part of why we've been together for so long.

So the inability for me to actually tell her about this connection, is really eating away at me! I want to, but I know she'll get angry resent my TF for it. She may even give me the ultimatum of "call it off", with her... but how many people here have ever been successfully able to do that?

This feels like the ultimate curse and blessing rolled in to one messy package :(

[Ziusudra]

Now with the additional info of 'you already discussed the TF/SC possibility with the other woman'.
OMG... you are already so liberal with her??!!

So...
You can discuss the 'spiritual aspects of relationships' with the other woman that you barely know in this life (BTW also married), when you obviously do not want to lead your wife of 20yrs to spiritual journey with you.

Start thinking clearly, dude!
This other woman is NOT running.
She is avoiding a married man who is obsessed with her and trying to woo her into a sordid affair by using TF labeling.
She clearly does not want to start either emotional or sexual affair with you.

I have to respect her actions.
Leave her alone, dude!
I fear what her husband may do to you if she decided to tell him about your chasing her.

You are not torn at all. You already know what you want.
You obviously want to be with the other woman secretly, behind your wife's and her husband's backs.
Here, you are trying to justify your intentions with "TF labeling".

I can tell you right now.
She is NOT your TF.

TF connection and energy make each other to be a better person, evoke spiritual awareness, and help each other to stay on both life missions.
NOT dragging each other to the dis-respectable secret affairs (emotional or sexual) and robbing each other's self respect/self love.

You may have a some kind of karmic/past life soul connection with her. But it is certainly NOT a TF connection.

It is understandable that the human sexual temptation is irresistible with strong karmic/past life connections when opposite sex is involved.
However, you need to learn to overcome your own weakness and ask yourself what kind of man that you want to be.

If you are so certain about wanting to be with this other woman and of the connection, then tell your wife and let your wife decide what she wants to do with your marriage.
This is NOT just about you and your choices.

Be honest with yourself first and stop sugar coating your intentions.

BTW, the way you are thinking and describing your wife is an absolute disgrace!!
Shame on you for painting your wife of 20yrs as an insecure, shallow, incompetent of spiritual journey, and irrational!!
You are doing this so you can justify your secrecy and your intentions.

I can not blame your wife for being jealous! - knowing how you are!
She is not the one who wants to have a sordid affair.
I really think that your wife deserve better than you.
She should be the ONE who needs to find her TF!

[Ziusudra]

...... dup....