Is this a response from the ego?

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Sounds more like sarcasm to me. But if you've ditched the person, aren't they entitled to feel hurt pride in the normal human sense?

What would you feel if they'd ditched you?
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This person ditched me when they told me they were unsure of me. I tyen had to initiate a break up and then ultimately a break because of it. I don't know why or how they still feel entitled to my time.

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

This person ditched me when they told me they were unsure of me. I tyen had to initiate a break up and then ultimately a break because of it. I don't know why or how they still feel entitled to my time.

I've just read your post in the TF & Soulmate section. It throws a different slant on things.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I've just read your post in the TF & Soulmate section. It throws a different slant on things.

Yes, can you understand how I wouldn't reach put to him. I dint think its unreasonable.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

"Let me know when a slot opens in your world that apparently I no longer exist in."
As a response to me creating space between myself and a former partner who I am on a break from because he "wasnt sure of me" .

Is this coming from toxic emotions or bruised ego?

Bruised heart, I'd say. *sadface*
No judgment on your decisions. Just answering the question.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Bruised heart, I'd say. *sadface*
No judgment on your decisions. Just answering the question.

Bruised heart even though HE was unsure of me. He rrally lacks emotional depth to fully speak to me on an emotional level.

[FairyCrystal]

A bruised ego and very immature reaction. Please don't think too much of it. He could also have thought, dang I'm losing her! and asked to talk or he could have phoned you. Seize the moment before he loses you. He didn't...

This is very victim-mode, making you feel guilty, and making you responsible for what happens now. "YOU let me know when..." and to top it of "YOU don't have space for me anymore in your life". While HE was the one who wasn't sure of you. Like I said in the other topic, there's this contradiction in what he does & says. Now he puts the ball in your court and puts the blame on you?

Of course we don't know the full story of what happened between the two of you, nor how old you both are. But I'd seriously ask myself if I wanted to be with someone like this, who resorts to victim-mode in difficult situation and takes no responsibility at all.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

A bruised ego and very immature reaction. Please don't think too much of it. He could also have thought, dang I'm losing her! and asked to talk or he could have phoned you. Seize the moment before he loses you. He didn't...

This is very victim-mode, making you feel guilty, and making you responsible for what happens now. "YOU let me know when..." and to top it of "YOU don't have space for me anymore in your life". While HE was the one who wasn't sure of you. Like I said in the other topic, there's this contradiction in what he does & says. Now he puts the ball in your court and puts the blame on you?

Of course we don't know the full story of what happened between the two of you, nor how old you both are. But I'd seriously ask myself if I wanted to be with someone like this, who resorts to victim-mode in difficult situation and takes no responsibility at all.

Right, he is making it seem like Im being blunt for no reason. I am naturally pretty shy and reserved and conflict was never my strong point and my subtleties no longer worked so being firm is how I have to be now.

Before he sent the "let me know..." text he had called me twice and when I messaged him as to why, the reasoning he said was to see if I was ok because he was worried. Then he went on a rant about how I underestimate how much he cares about me blah blah blah.

I dont want to talk about how you are worried about me or my day. I cant have those conversations while being left in the dark of the "fate" of our relationship. He would send me random texts at the top of each month since he said what he said. Texts like "happy october, its a new month and its gonna be a good one, just reaching out" and the same for this month November. Like, these random motivational texts and any time he called he wanted to just have regular conversations as if he didnt say he was unsure about me and every time I mentioned talking about us he skirted around the subject or got annoyed I brought it up. So last month we agreed that the talk would/should be in person. This was supposed to happen next month in December but once again whenever I asked him for potential days that would work he would say he is going to be doing OT at work and doesn't know yet.

So, yesterday I cut contact with him, except for email and told him to tell me of potential days soon. Im giving him until the 15th but he doesnt know that. I don't even know if I want to give him that, after I've been waiting for 4 months!

[FairyCrystal]

You did the waiting yourself, you cannot put that on him.
He does give mixed signals, but again difficult to form any solid judgement as an outsider, not knowing all the ins and outs.
But what is pretty clear is that he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't feel he is in a relationship with you (anymore): we have no anniversary since we broke up. Phrasing that as "we are on a break" is just nonsense.
One way I get a sense he doesn't have the baws to sever the ties, nice and handy to have someone on the backburner, on the other hand it also feels like he's afraid you cannot handle it when he says he's done with it, hence the checking in how you're doing.
But with the little info in the situation I can't be sure.
I would move on. He's giving you crumbs and you're putting up with it. Crumbs isn't going to cut it, you want the whole enchilada. And stop being busy with this guy as much as you're doing. That's difficult, but if you keep focusing on this you keep this chaotic thing and energy going.
Focus on other things, things and people that are there for you and do give you joy. Distract yourself. If you must be busy with it or cry or whatever, give yourself 15 mins for that max at a set time a day. Set a timer and spend no longer on these 15 mins regardless. You have to be tough on yourself here, call it "hard love". It's allowing your pain while not wallowing in it, so protecting yourself.

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

Bruised heart even though HE was unsure of me. He rrally lacks emotional depth to fully speak to me on an emotional level.

Experience has taught me that most men are out of touch with their emotions enough to express them honestly. They are taught too early to suppress them. Social conditioning. At best, women can gauge them by their actions, gestures, reliability, constancy and things. And be impartial, clinical perhaps, to avoid confusing them with your own emotions. Words are useless.
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[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Experience has taught me that most men are out of touch with their emotions enough to express them honestly. They are taught too early to suppress them. Social conditioning. At best, women can gauge them by their actions, gestures, reliability, constancy and things. And be impartial, clinical perhaps, to avoid confusing them with your own emotions. Words are useless.
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Couldn't agree more!
It has to do with the masculine wound which is in the heart whereas woman's is in the belly. There are emotionally mature men but still far and few between. Indeed their action, consistency etc. is a good gauge.