Is this a response from the ego?

[embroideryfloraltea]

"Let me know when a slot opens in your world that apparently I no longer exist in."

As a response to me creating space between myself and a former partner who I am on a break from because he "wasnt sure of me" .

Is this coming from toxic emotions or bruised ego?

[Sunshine111]

Hi,

So, is he "sure of you now"?. He should be commenting on this and not making any complaints aimed at making you feel guilty especially if "he wasn't sure of you" , respect you, your privacy, feelings, space and time alone away from him.

And what is this "let me know when a slot opens in your world" that when I read , immediately thought that, it was a professional response from a client or customer at a workplace and your client???!!!!

Are you sure of him and this person for you as a partner?. He wasn't, were and are you?.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Sunshine111

Hi,

So, is he "sure of you now"?. He should be commenting on this and not making any complaints aimed at making you feel guilty especially if "he wasn't sure of you" , respect you, your privacy, feelings, space and time alone away from him.

And what is this "let me know when a slot opens in your world" that when I read , immediately thought that, it was a professional response from a client or customer at a workplace and your client???!!!!

Are you sure of him and this person for you as a partner?. He wasn't, were and are you?.

Hi there!

That's the thing, we have yet to have a talk about where we stand with one another, though in the beginning of the month we did discuss setting a place and time to discuss that in person next month.

Honestly, when I read that as his response I thought to myself, "here we go again." I didnt even open up the message, it popped up on my preview screen and I saw it from there. You're right, he is attempting to guilt me but I have not responded and am not going to engage in that low vibration energy.

Also, with all the space and time thus far, I can say that I am not sure about continuing to pursue anything whether platonic or romantic with him.

[Sunshine111]

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

Hi there!

That's the thing, we have yet to have a talk about where we stand with one another, though in the beginning of the month we did discuss setting a place and time to discuss that in person next month.

Honestly, when I read that as his response I thought to myself, "here we go again." I didnt even open up the message, it popped up on my preview screen and I saw it from there. You're right, he is attempting to guilt me but I have not responded and am not going to engage in that low vibration energy.

Also, with all the space and time thus far, I can say that I am not sure about continuing to pursue anything whether platonic or romantic with him.

Not sure that means is No.

If you aren't sure about anything better not go ahead with it. If you need to make things clearer, a suggestion is to prepare 2 columns/lists, a Yes and a No column(reasons to go ahead with A, B, C etc and reasons not to go ahead with A, B, C etc).

Then, positives and negative on each Yes and No column, which ones these are.

Lastly, visualise how you will feel, going and not going along with this.

All the above works for me in regards to decisions I want to be certain and it's one of my favourite steps taken to do this.

All the best, take care!

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Sunshine111

Not sure that means is No.

If you aren't sure about anything better not go ahead with it. If you need to make things clearer, a suggestion is to prepare 2 columns/lists, a Yes and a No column(reasons to go ahead with A, B, C etc and reasons not to go ahead with A, B, C etc).

Then, positives and negative on each Yes and No column, which ones these are.

Lastly, visualise how you will feel, going and not going along with this.

All the above works for me in regards to decisions I want to be certain and it's one of my favourite steps taken to do this.

All the best, take care!

You are saying "not sure" means no?

The list sounds like a good idea! Im sure it will force me to confront a lot that I have in my subconscious about this entire situation. Thank you!

[Mr_Determined]

Hi embroideryfloraltea,

Having read a few of your previous threads.

Regardless of the emotional head games you are playing with each other. It would be best to avoid getting into each other's mindsets from here on as this seems to be causing a lot of friction with 'obsession and possession' between you both and isn't entirely healthy for the outcome you are wanting to expect in the long run.

This is your time to communicate openly about the problems you’ve both been having with the companionship that led to you both walking away.

If in fact, they are all ears now and you should be honest without being uncharitable. Gently but firmly tell them what it was that made you feel unloved or underappreciated, and give them concrete suggestions for how to fix it. Most guys love concrete suggestions, they are not abstract creatures. Be direct, in a tender loving manner.

Their respect for you should increase!

Hope it works out for you.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Mr_Determined

Hi embroideryfloraltea,

Having read a few of your previous threads.

Regardless of the emotional head games you are playing with each other. It would be best to avoid getting into each other's mindsets from here on as this seems to be causing a lot of friction with 'obsession and possession' between you both and isn't entirely healthy for the outcome you are wanting to expect in the long run.

This is your time to communicate openly about the problems you’ve both been having with the companionship that led to you both walking away.

If in fact, they are all ears now and you should be honest without being uncharitable. Gently but firmly tell them what it was that made you feel unloved or underappreciated, and give them concrete suggestions for how to fix it. Most guys love concrete suggestions, they are not abstract creatures. Be direct, in a tender loving manner.

Their respect for you should increase!

Hope it works out for you.

Mr_Determined,

Ironically enough the thought of obsession and possesion crossed my mind today but I am not very knowledgeable about that sort of dynamic as far as recognizing it happening because it happens with him a lot. This is the only person this has ever happened with so Im still learning.

I have been firm with him but I am eager to speak in person because texts and phone calls between us are not helping much. We need to be fave to face , energy to energy in close proximity to have the discussion. I will use your advice of making concrete suggestions for sure though.

What are ways that I can recognize the dynamic and how would you define the obsession/possesion dynamic.

[Sunshine111]

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

You are saying "not sure" means no?

The list sounds like a good idea! Im sure it will force me to confront a lot that I have in my subconscious about this entire situation. Thank you!

Yes, in my book, "not sure" means "No".

[Mr_Determined]

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

Mr_Determined,

Ironically enough the thought of obsession and possesion crossed my mind today but I am not very knowledgeable about that sort of dynamic as far as recognizing it happening because it happens with him a lot. This is the only person this has ever happened with so Im still learning.

I have been firm with him but I am eager to speak in person because texts and phone calls between us are not helping much. We need to be fave to face , energy to energy in close proximity to have the discussion. I will use your advice of making concrete suggestions for sure though.

What are ways that I can recognize the dynamic and how would you define the obsession/possesion dynamic.

embroideryfloraltea,

The Obsessiveness and Possessiveness as I put it was metaphorically speaking to assume there might be a certain manipulative behavior comprising of one's own sense of control over another, whether or not is the case of there being a superiority complex, or self-centered personality. For instance; If he has been responding to you in a way that is unhealthy, eg: threatening you, stalking you, becoming violent or abusive. Then your first priority is to make sure that you are safe and that he cannot hurt you. If it gets too serious, you might even need to file a restraining order.

However, not every man reacts heroically when he realizes he has lost something he could have valued more than himself!

Perhaps he has finally come to that realization. His reactions for walking away from you may very well depend on his character and past which could otherwise explain he had gone astray, or is going through some kind of distressing self-doubt/inadequacy of measuring up to you or another.

To give my feminist perspective/theory lol. If your behavior shows him that you’re going to stick around no matter how poorly he treats you, then you can guess how he’s going to treat you.
But if you show him that you are not willing to settle for anything less than his best and that you’re even willing to walk away if he’s not living up to your expectations, then obviously he should know he needs to rise above that if he wants to be with you.

He surely has plenty of healing to be responsible of before he will be capable of showing you the authentic love that you deserve. Personally, I would recommend weighing up the facts for yourself and carefully follow your intuition to make an educated decision if he is for you or not for you.

It is a very delicate situation that requires patience and time to heal the wounds of agony you both may feel, do tread lightly.

Take care!

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

"Let me know when a slot opens in your world that apparently I no longer exist in."

As a response to me creating space between myself and a former partner who I am on a break from because he "wasnt sure of me" .

Is this coming from toxic emotions or bruised ego?

Sounds more like sarcasm to me. But if you've ditched the person, aren't they entitled to feel hurt pride in the normal human sense?

What would you feel if they'd ditched you?
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