Co-worker emotional leech?

[embroideryfloraltea]

There is one co-worker in particular at my job that is very draining. I don't see her often but when I do, it is like she is targeting me to put me in my place or feel superior over me. I have made plenty of mistakes so far with customer service in the store because I am new and a lot of my co-workers or even some of the managers will come up to me and politely inform me of my error. This particular co-worker informs me in a very snarky and bully type way.

I said something over the walkie and before the words left my mouth , she was in front of me telling me that I used the wrong wording when speaking about a particular item. She was in a different department on the same floor but decided to barge over to me and tell me off. I acted defensive at first until I realized that is what she wants me to do because she quickly began getting an attitude with me when I did that. So , I smiled and thanked her and she went away. Not too soon after that I went to restock and check the price of an item and she instructed me on how to do it, again very bossy so I once again thanked her profusely and she said "of course, anything you need just ask me, I'll help you and show you more stuff later" I smiled and walked away.

About 30 minutes later, I was speaking to one of the supervisors in passing , it was friendly small talk and I look up and she is coming towards us, she comes directly where we are standing and interupts us and says outloud "I forgot what I came over here for" and my supervisor started saying random possibilities to help jog her memory but the co-worker said no to all of the suggestions and then began small talking the supervisor , so I walked away.

I can sense her energy is not good. Has anyone had an experience with a coworker like this? Would you consider her a leech?

There's one in every workplace, surely. Though a freelancer I sometimes do work for firms when my market gets a bit lax and there's always someone there. I find answering in a crisp stiff-upper-lip way puts us on the same level. I just say "Yes" or "Right" or "ok" then look away and get on with what I'm doing. Or at best, "Show me the correct way, then," and never thank the person. If their nature is to confront, they get little satisfaction from me!

[FairyCrystal]

I don't think it has anything to do with being a leech, you super rarely come across those.
This is you attracting this behaviour and treatment and you can see for yourself why. Do you have low self-esteem and confidence, boundaries etc. Very likely otherwise you would've said something.
Bullies also have a similar issue btw.
This is the same as a young kid being a school bully and another young kid being bullied. Maybe read a bit bout that online and what you can do for yourself to change it and deal with it better. You cannot change her, but if you change, she will too.

And if in this situation you start to feel drained it's because you do not stand up for yourself, so in that sense give your power away and allow something to happen that isn't good for you. That's what usually happens, someone giving it away mostly, not someone taking it from you. The latter really hardly ever happens, even though people think so.

I know what I would do.lol.

[embroideryfloraltea]

I don't have low self-esteem but my boundaries are out of whack though! I am literally just learning how to properly set them in my life and stick to them.

So, you say I attracted this because of that? Is this so that I can keep firm in my boundaries because I've been doing really well so far. If this is a test to keep standly firmly in my beliefs than I will do so.

I will stand up to her.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by FairyCrystal

I don't think it has anything to do with being a leech, you super rarely come across those.
This is you attracting this behaviour and treatment and you can see for yourself why. Do you have low self-esteem and confidence, boundaries etc. Very likely otherwise you would've said something.
Bullies also have a similar issue btw.
This is the same as a young kid being a school bully and another young kid being bullied. Maybe read a bit bout that online and what you can do for yourself to change it and deal with it better. You cannot change her, but if you change, she will too.

And if in this situation you start to feel drained it's because you do not stand up for yourself, so in that sense give your power away and allow something to happen that isn't good for you. That's what usually happens, someone giving it away mostly, not someone taking it from you. The latter really hardly ever happens, even though people think so.

Thank you so much for your insight! I replied above but didn't quote it.

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by hazada guess

I know what I would do.lol.

What do you mean?

[embroideryfloraltea]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

There's one in every workplace, surely. Though a freelancer I sometimes do work for firms when my market gets a bit lax and there's always someone there. I find answering in a crisp stiff-upper-lip way puts us on the same level. I just say "Yes" or "Right" or "ok" then look away and get on with what I'm doing. Or at best, "Show me the correct way, then," and never thank the person. If their nature is to confront, they get little satisfaction from me!

I see! Thank you. Wow, this is worded in a way I couldn't quite put into words, I do believe her nature is to confront! I will no longer thank her. Lol now that I think about i, its like I thanked her for giving me the opportunity to give my energy away so easily. Yikes!

I will be firm with her going forward. Great suggestions on what to say.

[Bornonthecusp]

Wow, I am currently dealing with a "helpful" critiziser at work at the moment, she literally just walked over as I'm typing this. Immediately my gut has got that NOOPE feeling. But back to the point, I also lack boundaries and sometimes the confidence to stand up for myself, so like others have said, I see this as a lesson/reflection for us to stand in our power. Have I tacked this open yet? No but there's still time to do this and be BRAVE #rosearmy

Originally Posted by embroideryfloraltea

What do you mean?

To put it politely I'd tell her where to go.