what bout of separation of you and your twin hurt the most???

[memo20]

And why did it hurt the most ??? And please state whether you are the runner or chaser. Or which one you were during your worst separation with your twin???


Mine was last year. I was already having a really tough time with how my life was going. I was jobless and living by myself. Was completely isolated from society. I am and always was the chaser.i cried for 3 days straight when I found out he had a girlfriend. I had no one. I finally got a job and made some friends which has helped soothe the pain.

[hineahuone]

I am both runner and chaser. My twin and I mirror one another and we take turns doing this to one another. I left my twin and he stayed away for so long I took another lover. He turned up again and told me he had another lover, then we shagged each other stupid and seperated again. It is pure torture and we both cannot stop doing this. I am seeking help now to heal the runner /chaser dynamic through 10 of cups ministry who does energetic healing (you have to pay for them though) It seems to be helping. My twin and I are now avoiding making contact for the time being while we heal ourselves of past hurts.

[eliana israel]

I WAS unfortunately the chaser (never ever more) and he was the runner. The silence...not knowing what he felt and why he cut me off hurt the most. I feel like he loves me, but I hate not knowing for sure....I feel like my heart is deceiving me.
.

[anonymous111]

This time around, I was the one who cut off all contact--would that make me the runner? I suppose. I'm usually the chaser however, but I believe it flip flops back and forth with us.

I think what hurt the most during the worst separation was waking up and he'd be the first thing on my mind. All the pain would come rushing back because I'd remember that we're not in contact anymore. Everytime something would happen to me, good or bad, he was the first person I'd want to tell, but I quickly remembered that I couldn't. Also, the nostalgia of how things used to be hurts a lot too--it kind of leaves you thinking and trying to retrace where things went wrong. The worst part is probably the silence and uncertainty.

[intj123]

It's never going to happen, just accept it and move on, live your life the way you would have if you never met him.

You were not afraid to be alone before, so it's stupid to feel that way now, this neediness that grew inside me disgusts me now, I'm over it.

[TXGemini]

I can deal with the separation fine--like I won't see him for two months. This will be fine for me. Actually, I'm more at peace when we are separated. I can go into myself, calm, salve, and lick all my wounds and hurts.

It's the meeting again that's the pits for me. I don't know if I'm going to get the nice guy or the judgy, mean, critical guy. I do notice that when I don't meet with him for long periods or intentionally cancel on him a couple of times (oooh, I'm going to have to bump our meeting for Dr. X or President Y or Mayor A, and my next opening isn't until 3 weeks from now)--he's on his best behavior when I do see him again. He let's me know he wasn't happy about being bumped but he doesn't take personal jabs and swipes at me.

On the other hand, if I see him on a regular monthly basis, he takes it for granted that he can take jabs at me, brag about his vacations and wife's family status, and hold me hostage to listen about how wonderful and great his material life is and try to make me feel miserable.

Yet when I try to bring the conversation back to his family life, he doesn't have much to say. Most of my immediate family has passed, but I'm still close and in contact with my maternal aunt and I let him know family and friends are more important to me than status and things.

[lostgirl25]

I feel like in my connection with my tf I was both the runner and chaser.
At first I ran from our relationship, but now I am the chaser.
I think what hurts me the most is the fact that I didn't handle things the correct way and now he wont give me the chance to talk with him. He is so silent and I feel his love but its just like he is just not able to speak to me just yet...

[Yourkiss73]

The beginning hurt differently because I felt like he suddenly just left me. But then I learned what really happens in a twin separation and no longer felt rejected.

Now I just have a bittersweet heartache because I miss the love of my life.

[TheProfaneAngel]

No closure. We had a crazy fight and went out separate ways. For years I thought I was crazy because I always think about him. I believed that I wasn't good enough for him and I never had thoughts like that before.

[BlueCat]

Well, the most hurtful thing is when your TF run from you with another one and someone that isn't their type or not good for them, personality speaking i mean.
The worst passed a long time ago hopefully, we talk but not all the time. I feel right now more at peace after a small time of insecure feelings.