Disillusioned with the Light, my destiny is obviously Darkness...

[running]

Originally Posted by Saggi

When you look into a mirror
The left becomes the right
So why then can it not be so
For the dark to become the light?

The way my life's unfolded
Up until this year
Was that it was cloaked in darkness
And the light was sometimes near

It was like I was in a tunnel
With a chink of light at the end
And the only way to reach it
Was to make darkness my friend

Like, when I was only half way through
And I looked the way I'd been
All I saw was pitch black
There was no light to be seen

It was only by walking forward
That the light then drew in near
And there within the darkness
Things became more clear

As my life got brighter
And seemed to turn around
It almost became a reflection
With more light to be found

The things I'd felt I'd fought for
And what I considered strife
Seemed now to be accepted
And are a big part of my life

At times I felt I stripped bare
And as each layer fell away
There was another part of me
Just waiting there to play

A part I once pushed down inside
At times right to my toes
And now I'm in full glory
And my wholesome self just shows

Where the halfway point was
I remember the particular day
My world seemed to flip over
And change in a different way

It was like the journey up to then
Was how to discover me
And now it seems from that point on
It's for the world to see

Hey You! Sit up, take notice!
Watch me, I'm standing tall!
Except this time I know the pathway
And the places i might fall

I've got the scars from once before
Been there and got the T-shirt
And the logo that I proudly wear
Is 'I have healed my hurt'

Tonight there was a Full Moon
To symbolise the ebb and flow
Cos as I walk my Journey of Light
The darkness now will grow

Not grow to overpower
It's a chink there at the end
And the way to reach the darkness
Is to make the light my friend!!

Love and hugs

Jo

XxXx

Thanks for sharing that!

[Seawolf]

I think alot of the anti Christian tendency we have is due to a lack of real education about it, not just our own but the ones who teach it to us. If you learn history, it was Christianity that preserved learning and civility. Today we think of it as oppressive and outdated, but that's actually an ignorant way of seeing it because we don't know history.

The problem I had in Christianity was I got caught up in certain types of extremist believing that wasn't very education oriented. Without education, it leaves people to their own ideas, and without a solid intellectual foundation things can get downright nasty and dangerous.

Knowledge is wonderful, it can free the heart from unneeded pain and worry, while ignorance can leave someone in despair, never knowing any better.

[psychoslice]

Originally Posted by in progress

Lol! I think shooting yourself in the foot is part of all paths!

Best of luck on your exploration.

Well I got shot through the ankle and that was a big change in my life, so yea shotting oneself through the foot is good lol.

[sandalwood]

why would you want to be 100percent?
you are the only one keeping yourself from the path.
the light is at the core of everything, one cannot be unable to reach, only disillusioned to think that they cant.
where you mistep is in thinking that the body tempts you alone meaning it must be your nature, but that is a struggle of everyone and simply what one deals with when leading toward the light.
don't give up, because thats the only way to fail

[Marie]

Ive been into christianity so I know how it feels like, and some things or attitudes can be quite horrible. my impression of that is that those that are negative are really negative and those that are not are trying the best to be positive. I like the words positive and negative better. I think its about balance the two, and in my mind, "going dark" will only unbalance more than it balances. But yet some have to go that way to find balance. I know that. I just dont find it necessary that often in most cases.
When "going dark", speaking from experience from my partner that have done it in his past and other lifestreams, you are sinking deeper and deeper and what you thought were good for you proved to be entrapment, and when you decide youve had enough, finally, its up to almost impossible to raise up again. It has it to grab and ensnare like glue. And he was one of the most evil in the history so he knows.. hes told me alot, so no, its extremely hard to get back up again,almost like it feels it cannot be done. So, it would be worse, than it is at the moment, something one cant even imagine, that deep and that hard. And on a certain stage dark entities does their entrance,as well. Now this was informative only. Not to prevent=)

I see it is the programming, and everyone has to do it, light or dark or in between. There is no escape from it. It can go in the tempo one feels comfortable with. rome wasnt built in one day. I recommend work with the subconscious. That can do alot for the programming and things you feel you cant do. Actually it can be whats hindering. It takes time and one has to develop patience, to go through, and get rid of programming. Especially when its early. Then you need to work with subconscious and hypnosis.
I would think inner child work as well. Christianity can put on hard programming and fear of the darkness. I know you can do it, if you take it in your own pace with patience. you know to raise up, one gotta let go of the material. to use, but not to be detached to it. It works together with the programming. Detachment, and balance is the key. detachment and balance in ALL things. Even in your mind. Even in your subconscious. Then, next step, letting go of ego. Ego might want to hold you to your programmings. It holds fear as well. you cannot raise up, with ego. Ego is supposed to be the protector of your physical body and nothing else. a guide. so,when youve done that you can work towards ridding more programming, you see it works in stages and if not the other stages done you cant get rid of more programming. the last to go is fear of death. its even a big one for spiritual people since its that deep but can be done.(not saying all people) this is ancient ancient knowledge.

Originally Posted by Kangarus

I have become disillusioned with the light path. I can't measure up 100%. I doubt too much, I just can't seem to hack it. I've tried, but all I end up doing is just shooting myself in the foot so to speak.

I'm drawn more to the Darkness - please don't judge me on this, but the left-hand path feels better to me. I was heavily Christian from about three years old to when I was seventeen when I deconverted, and I tried to explore some sort of spirituality of light and such things. I have no interest in converting back to any form of Christianity whatsoever, so please, I've made up my mind.

I feel my only recourse is one of two things - one, deny Spirit altogether, and live as an atheist, or two, delve into the left-hand path of spirituality. I would want to be in contact with other entities beyond this world, divine or otherwise, for some reason, I don't know why. Some form of Pascal's Wager perhaps.

I can't be of the Light. I have too much darkness in my heart, though I am not an evil man, I am just not of the higher pattern enough.

This may be one of my last postings on this board. I'm strongly considering hanging up my hat here. To all of you guys who have struggled to help, thanks. To everyone else, I wish you a safe journey in light and love - a journey, alas, that I cannot go on.

Endings in this way are always a great sign a new door waits on the horizon for you..

Letting go of the light might be the best thing you have done for yourself..well the light in light of how you perceive it..

good luck.

Making the darkness your friend....its the best way to embrace all of you.

[running]

Originally Posted by silent whisper

Making the darkness your friend....its the best way to embrace all of you.

I know that was in my case. I just made friends with what people call dark in me. Accepted me in more of an unconditional matter. And others. And it worked great. The judgement comes from us I feel. The more we judge. The more we are judged. That's what I experience. So getting more out of all that brings happiness. Happiness makes people nicer anyways.

Originally Posted by running

I know that was in my case. I just made friends with what people call dark in me. Accepted me in more of an unconditional matter. And others. And it worked great. The judgement comes from us I feel. The more we judge. The more we are judged. That's what I experience. So getting more out of all that brings happiness. Happiness makes people nicer anyways.

Yes its really neither dark or light..it just is...we associate the light as light through the images and perceptions we place on it around us. And the dark as well. I guess we need some kind of form to bring awarness into the expression of what we feel. :)

And yes being open to the whole experience of you, allows all to be in the mix..and this too can awaken the real joy in essence in oneself..I agree with you, to find your happiness within, if one embraces it all in them, their is an opportunity to find the real happiness many seek..not the fleeting happiness that doesnt last.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by running

Im not sure what your trying to do here. Are you telling me I didn't read what you just quoted. This is getting strange. What do you want dude! Lol. Im totally lost now on what your getting at on both accounts. Maybe its me. I haven't a clue.

Yea... I find people don't understand generally, but if someone identifies their religious conditioning, then fine, and it isn't right to suggest it to them.