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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #21  
Old Yesterday, 06:06 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Well, this is a funny update to my original post. It seems the more I am standing my ground and enforcing my boundaries, the stronger this person AND my own mother are trying to break me down. I now can see some similarities between their personalities and over the past few days or so I can tell how enraged they are by the postitive changes I've made towards protecting myself. Both of them have reached out to me angrily, I suppose because I'm no longer there to project their negativity onto so freely. Their intensity has been hot and heavy the past two days.

The thing is, somehow this is still affecting me, like a part of me feels badly that they're suffering right now and I'm not there to listen. It's affecting me energetically and I feel a painful block in my lower belly.
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  #22  
Old Yesterday, 08:21 PM
blackraven blackraven is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky
Well, this is a funny update to my original post. It seems the more I am standing my ground and enforcing my boundaries, the stronger this person AND my own mother are trying to break me down. I now can see some similarities between their personalities and over the past few days or so I can tell how enraged they are by the postitive changes I've made towards protecting myself. Both of them have reached out to me angrily, I suppose because I'm no longer there to project their negativity onto so freely. Their intensity has been hot and heavy the past two days.

The thing is, somehow this is still affecting me, like a part of me feels badly that they're suffering right now and I'm not there to listen. It's affecting me energetically and I feel a painful block in my lower belly.

Lucky - Things will unfold as they may in order for things to become more balanced. It's hard, especially with family members, but if one is trying to protect themselves from added stress and anxiety, sometimes one just has to pull out the stop sign for a while so that others realize how much they may have unloaded without want or consent.

I recently had to do this with a parent who has always needed me as a sounding block for her complaints about a sibling. It's called triangulating, I believe, and it's when a person doesn't want to deal directly with the person they have a problem with so they turn to a 3rd person to complain to. It's not the healthiest and for me it just got to be too draining.
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  #23  
Old Yesterday, 08:22 PM
MissCreativeSpirit MissCreativeSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Redding
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I really love to be alone part of the time. I consider myself to be about 65% introvert. I need actual time to process all of the stimulation that goes on in my life because my nerves are sensitive. AKA I'm called a "Highly Sensitive person." See Elane Aaron's books
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  #24  
Old Yesterday, 08:38 PM
Lucky Lucky is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Black Raven thanks for your reply. "Triangulating" as you put it makes sense. I'm never the one on the chopping block but I do always feel like the "go-between" and sounding board A LOT. It's the story of my life. It has drained me severely but I have gotten much better at protecting myself and setting boundaries whereas usually there is no beginning or end between me and the other person's emotions. Ugh...empath problems and INFJ problems. Double whammy.
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