Hey ssdm1 it is good seeing you too
I believe it is impossible to forget person you share soul connection. Forgetting about it would mean dementia or Alzheimer or something. People who expect that or advice that just haven't experienced soul connection.
I haven't forgot mine, it is clear since I'm writing about him right now
However, I stopped feeling anything for him and that is what is important to me, and that is mine proof that I have reset myself to the way I was before I met him.
I don't think I will ever "forget" him. But now I'm in a state when I know every factual detail about him, but I don't have any kind of feelings towards him. Not hate, nor love, nor warm and fuzzy feelings of friendship, nothing.... Its just blank...
If your friend advice you to forget about him means for you to be open to a new people, then that makes more sense.
For 20, from the day one when I heard his voice over the phone, I was closed for anybody else but him. I felt closed for new and people I used to know,
I felt like he is "enough", like he is everything for me, like he is the reason, cause.... I felt like he is my everything...
I used to wrote, I felt like the only important thing in life is being with him, and life felt like a labyrinth and other people are obstacles that are taking me away from him.
I was so closed for other people in every possible way, and I would get so annoyed not even triggered, just annoyed, when somebody would say "there are other people out there for me"....
Yuck, I know how how closed I was. I was wrong. It is obvious that I was placing all that should be placed on ME on him (attention, time, love, worth...)
I'm sure you are not making my mistakes, I'm just stating how I was.
And it took 20 years for me to see how wrong I was.
What did happen to make me realize this? It is hard to say, maybe it was just divine time for me to reset.
It was just that time when I (besides self-analyzing and inner-work) was kind fed up of Ester Hicks (who is wonderful and extremely helpful) talked about that there are lots of cooperative components for each of us, since she was 24/7 with her beloved Jerry for years till the day he died.
Then I just hopped to Teal Swan's teachings and it all clicked. Teal was the first person whose words that there are in fact lots of cooperative components for each of us sounded like a truth.
While doing "shadow work" digging deep down inside of me, I realized that I want to have a real relationships where I feel safe and loved. I didn't want to be little girl tiptoeing around my parents and grandparents trying to get them to notice and see real me, to acknowledge me.
I, before I met him, was a lonely, gloomy, moody, but also goofy, silly person, naive, full of hopes, dreamer, open to new possibilities.
I, before I met him, was living in the moment (even though I didn't know the meaning of that statement back then), I was unconditionally present in the moment back then, when studying I would study, when being around friends I would be with them with all my attention and my hearth.
I, after I met him, was all about him. I was about him. I used to define myself by my relationship (or lack of it) with him. Everything was about him. I was consumed by thoughts, emotions and feelings about him.
I, after I met him, was starting to see everything and everybody like a waste of my time since I'm not with him at that moment. My "reasoning" used to be "would this person or this event, or this thing I should do" lead me to be with him, or closer to him. And the answer was mostly, no. Then I would be slacking off the time I would spend with those people.
For example, spending time with my friends who didn't know him, felt like a chore, like a waste of my precious moments I wanted to spend with him.
However, time spent with my new friend who were his friend too, I saw like a investment into being closer to him, and turned everything to be about him, for them to talk about him and me to absorb and analyze it
Yuck, again.
I was closed for any kind of not just "romantic notion" or relationship, but for any kind of contact with men, since I didn't care of anybody besides him. I didn't believe that there could be a man for me, besides him. I couldn't think of anybody, I couldn't even play with the thought that there are interesting men out there for me...
I before I met him, was full of hopes and I saw the world as a place full of wonderful people I might be connected with.
I after met him, was seeing just him and world of obstacles that divides us, and nothing more...
It took lot of time, and work but eventually I started to wanting to remember who I was before I met him, started to ask for reset and then deciding upon the reset.
There are many cooperative components for everybody out there, I know that now
(even though I haven manifested anybody new yet since I'm not there yet) I don't need physical manifestation to prove that there are lots of cooperative components for everyone.
I know you are not making my mistakes, I wrote this just to share where I was and how I see things now.
Anne exactly.
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