like a fade of cloud in the sky

[Ca-yield]

feeling faded and have been on a low for so long, just sad and not much escape from my life, I want to escape because it is so boring and depressing all I do is nothing I want to do. I feel like leaving to the mountain I used to live near and climbing to the top. Tell me how you feel and what is happening in your life right now. my dreams have been so colourless and I feel like I am just wasting my time, I really want to do something I like in my life.

[Michelle11]

What is holding you back? People can tell you to just push past the fear and go for it, jump in and trust you will be ok but if you aren't already doing those things, if you aren't already following your passion or bliss then something is holding you back. Only you know the answer to why that is. I have found having conversations with myself helps. I ask myself all sorts of questions about whatever is upsetting or confounding me at the time and then wait to see what comes back. Sometimes it will be an immediate thought or even song lyric. Sometimes I will run into the info I need to know out in the world or online. And sometimes I will have a helpful dream, especially if I ask a question before bed. Life can be confusing but it isn't meant to be secret. We only need to start asking for guidance for our lives to move forward. It might take some time to sort things out but it sounds like you are ready to live life with abandon but you may need to clear out what is holding you back first. Do some self exploration and you may be able to get there.