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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 15-08-2018, 04:25 PM
Clio_86 Clio_86 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Toronto
Posts: 661
 
Cheated by a Peer/Friend

I am really unhappy this week due to a friend/peer's behaviour. We are both phd students and have worked side by side for three years. Starting in our master's degrees until now. I would say we are good friends.

This person and I made a deal with one another as we are approaching a huge exam in September. The deal was that we would exchange our book review assignments and final term papers from this past year to help cut down our workload. This is significant because we are being tested on 100 books. So the more books we can cut down the better.

I sent my friend both of my book reviews and my final paper which covered four books from our reading list. So I provided six books in total he can cut off his list. I also received very high marks on my assignments and had the highest mark in the class.

He sent me one book review which he received a poor grade on. Then his paper which only covers one book. Now he is refusing to send me his second book review which he got a decent grade on. It has been a month now and I have sent gentle reminders to him but he keeps saying he "forgot."

I know he is competitive, as we are all competitive as grad students but this is not acceptable to me. I provided high quality assignments for him and he can cut down six items from his list. I can cut down one, then touch up on another which was poorly done. I feel taken advantage of and I am getting angry.

I should have seen this coming because earlier this year he also lied multiple times about whether or not he had books then showed up to our class with the books that no-one else could get their hands on.

There is nothing I dislike more than cheats, liars, and people who are sneaky and this is how I am viewing this person right now. I am not from the area that I live and barely have any friends here. It is also hard to make friends in grad school so this situation is really not sitting well with me.
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  #2  
Old 15-08-2018, 04:57 PM
Roger Wilco
Posts: n/a
 
yes perhaps you should at times be not that friendly ,friends are funny enough often not made by being always friendly to every one but though and nasty also I do that at times too and it works even if its not directed at any person in particular friends are often made by being equals

and now it seem you better start working at the reviews a 100 books is a lot :-)
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  #3  
Old 16-08-2018, 12:46 AM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,136
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This friendship is one sided he is a taker where as you are a giver.i feel he is close to failing and is not happy with his work that is why he doesn't want you to see his work

Namaste
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  #4  
Old 16-08-2018, 12:55 AM
Grace222 Grace222 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: US
Posts: 407
 
It sucks, but just lesson learned and move forward as much as possible on your own. In your life, you will cross paths with wonderful, dependable people and also unfortunately those who feel they must undercut to get ahead. If anything, you saw you had early warning signs and that in future you can heed them sooner. Just be observant - people will show you who they are. We often just don't want to believe it (cognitive dissonance). Heed the signs earlier in future, adjust, and keep cruising. Believe me, this guy will hurt himself more than anyone could going through life this way. But also recognize that people do grow and evolve as they get older, and this guy may wise up in 10 or 20 years and be a better person. So much lies ahead for both of you. Hang in there and best wishes.
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