Reach out to TF runners on holidays...or let them be?

AutumL i have posted this before but think it's appropriate for this thread as well. Last year my tf posted something on her FB page that really hit home with me and spoke to a way she has felt all of her life. It's an old Swedish proverb that goes like this: "Love me when i least deserve it because that's when i need it the most"! Now, she is one to NEVER post anything about her feelings on FB so for her to post this must really mean something to her. I think in a way all runners feel this way. Love them regardless because true, unconditional love is not attached to how they act towards you! I think at times it amazes her that when she is distant or down right disrespectful i am always loving her regardless. She is just trying to get her head around it and feel in her heart that love will never leave :)

That sounds right abdl, it makes sense and I once was told don't take it personal (their actions). Its not u per se, u just bring it out lol

its the old saying of don't always make yourself readily available

... and did you ever get the realization that maybe you were withholding for the "seeming" that you are not available, and if that's true maybe there was a little bit of spite involved, know what I mean?

yes you have to check your motives but this is one of those splitting hairs kinds of distinctions, yet you can hardly avoid having to make it once you're in this business, when the best you can do is accept that your choices will never make sense to some people.

Maybe my question is: how would we define withholding and at what point/gray area is it really that?

Raineco I know what your saying and yes some would say its withholding and maybe out of spite, but I personally do it to just step out of the equation. Everyones situation is different but with mine, I feel the time is needed for him to grow without my distraction until he is ready. I am actually doing it out of love, even though it hurts. I could never be spiteful to this person. And withholding I would never do.

I spoke to mine a few days before - after 2 months of little to no contact - we aren't in no contact tho because we are confused about how we feel - we try to limit contact so that we can both do our own individual growing needed at this time without the intensity that contact brings. It was a breathe of fresh air speaking to him - he said so too - but if he had denied all feelings and seriously wanted no contact I would respect that.

It really depends on the situation I think - u know in yr heart whether u should or shouldn't - go with that :)

[CRIMSON BLUE]

LEAVE THEM BE! I called my TF to wish him a happy birthday. That was the first and last time I called him...