Newbie - Skeptic turning into a Believer?

[Rainbow11]

Hi all. Here is my intro:
- 30 year old female in a 5 year relationship
- I love animals, reading, painting, dancing, singing - poorly, nature and anything to do with astronomy, social studies, psychology, astrophysics, and philosophy.

As a kid, I think my imagination was always wild, I had an emotionally abusive family - they meant well, but being uneducated and coming from villages, didn't know any better. This has made me crave a lot of love my whole life which is half my problem.

I had some bizarre, unexplainable things happen to me regularly throughout my early teens but somehow the skeptic in me always took over. I was haunted by 11:11 for years and years during and after my first love, convinced it was a sign that we were meant to be, but then he got married (after i kept pushing him away) and when his marriage fell apart, he came in contact with me again - how that happened was also very bizarre but I won't go into it.

Anyway, after he got married, I stopped believing in signs, stopped seeing 11:11, and once again the skeptic in me found scientific explanations to justify these.

Now I am 30, and once again, there is high activity of bizarre things, and once again the believer in me is remerging. I have started meditating and I want to learn how to Astrally Project. This happened to me involuntarily as a child once, where I saw my physical body on the bed, which scared me a lot so I gasped myself awake and my "soul" fell at super speed back into my body. I only recently found out what AP is. But after that I was troubled with Sleep Paralysis most of my teenage years. Again, did not know what it was. Since learning about it, i have had fewer episodes, but now I am seeing links online between the painful Vibration stage in SP and AP. So now I am experimenting again. Admittedly, since meditating more, the bizarre activities have increased again.

So that sums up most of my background. I guess I am here because I feel I am going through a phase of severe confusion in my relationship, which prompted the meditations, which then prompted the increase in bizarre events... so i guess I am hoping to read others' stories, ask for advice, learn more about these things, and hopefully find some clarity or hope.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Look forward to engaging with you all on here.

[dream jo]

hi................................................ ..