Why do you bother loving someone who doesn't love you back?

[Delay_Reaction]

Isn't it ultimately toxic to love someone who doesn't love you back/communicate with you/acknowledge your emotions or even your existence?

There must come a point when you realize that this isn't helping you achieve anything except become more embittered and/or disillusioned.

Why would you concentrate so much energy on one person when there are many people with whom you can spread love to?

Come to think of it, loving someone unconditionally is one of the hardest things to sustain. Even though "spiritual enlightened" people say it's the easiest thing to do... which I call hogwash. This is harder than any addiction I've ever tried to kick!

Why waste your entire life on ONE person? Why think of this person and dedicate any headspace to them at all? Why not focus on the things you already have (family, friends, kids) and instead use your energy to improve those relationships?

I guess I could dedicate 10 minutes a week to my twin and that wouldn't be a waste of my time.

There just seems to be an infinite number of things that I could be occupying my time with.

[Christine01]

I guess firstly you have to be sure it is your twin. To be honest if I did not get the massive signs and synchronicities I get, and had so many unusual things happen I would question cynically how you have. It is not easy.

[OEN34]

You can't force your feelings; they're either there or they're not. Not wanting them there will not allow them to disappear as you're trying to resist something, and we know the old saying ''What you resist, persists''. It's true - very true.

You sending love to someone, or loving someone, should have no expectation attached to the feeling being reciprocated as you then come from a place of resentment and bitterness. This shows a little in your post. You sound frustrated/upset/bitter that the person you love isn't showing you anything back.

This is where acceptance needs to come in, and also take a look at why you are feeling this way as there's some hurt stored up somewhere within, so explore it, as you'll find the emotion stored has absolutely nothing to do with this person, it is your attachment to the situation that is causing you pain.

Ultimately, if this person isn't interested then one needs to accept this, however hard it is. Perhaps there is abandonment or fear of loss issues internally with you?

Sending love to those who 'do not deserve it' is one of the best practices one can do in order to increase self-love, acceptance, forgiveness and allow any emotional hurt inside disperse. I know this as I am doing it with two people I am not fond of at all who most would 'hate', but as we know, what is inside we portray outside.

But yes, focus on other things too, not just the one person. It will subside, I assure you, but resisting it won't allow it to.

[Inika]

There just seems to be an infinite number of things that I could be occupying my time with.

then do it. i see no one stopping you?

[Inika]

looking at your post. i hear this......'i can only love someone on the premise that they love me'

the old paradigm mentality. TF's are supposedly to dispel and set a new example.

guessing by your post, you are still stuck in those programmed and very conditioned thoughts/beliefs.

[Dargor]

Best thing to do is to shut your feelings and emotions off to those who aren't worth it.

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

Isn't it ultimately toxic to love someone who doesn't love you back/communicate with you/acknowledge your emotions or even your existence?

It depends on the sort of love you're talking about. If you're talking about unconditional love, then it isn't toxic. It can't be toxic. Love becomes toxic when it's obsessive and possessive.

There must come a point when you realize that this isn't helping you achieve anything except become more embittered and/or disillusioned.

This point is facing reality and casting off delusion.

Why would you concentrate so much energy on one person when there are many people with whom you can spread love to?

You might well ask. But would you feel any different if the love you spread was rejected elsewhere. It is pointless directing any kind of love at a pin-up (of sorts, i.e. on a pedestal) and hoping...when there are plenty of people out there.

Come to think of it, loving someone unconditionally is one of the hardest things to sustain. Even though "spiritual enlightened" people say it's the easiest thing to do... which I call hogwash. This is harder than any addiction I've ever tried to kick!

It IS the easiest thing but you're approaching it from a deeply selfish angle. You're worried about being paid in kind (at least) for your love. Unconditional love costs nothing because you aren't expecting anything in return. The small issues you have with your target love don't matter because they're part of what makes that person what they are and...I say it again...the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. It's dead easy...but if you're after the carnal or commitment or even romance then it's unlikely to be unconditional. So if you want to love unconditionally drop expectations of commitment to you.

Why waste your entire life on ONE person? Why think of this person and dedicate any headspace to them at all? Why not focus on the things you already have (family, friends, kids) and instead use your energy to improve those relationships?

You're questioning your own modus operandi here. Why indeed? It's up to you. From my perspective it wouldn't work. It sounds obsessive and claustrophobic. I couldn't cope with it.

I guess I could dedicate 10 minutes a week to my twin and that wouldn't be a waste of my time.

There just seems to be an infinite number of things that I could be occupying my time with.

So you should. But if your "twin" is the main subject of this topic, I've news for you - you're probably wasting your time. I mean, ask yourself, what person would want to have anything to do with someone so possessive, self-centred and demanding? Does she/he really want to be your twin? Does she believe the same creed as you? Sounds like not.

I wish you well but if you really want to find love in your life you have a lot of issues to deal with.

...

[Inika]

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

Best thing to do is to shut your feelings and emotions off to those who aren't worth it.

And this will always be reflected back at you.

[Inika]

I mean, ask yourself, what person would want to have anything to do with someone so possessive, self-centred and demanding? Does she/he really want to be your twin?

i thought about 'triggering' earlier and this part of your post reminded me of it again. How on earth, are some of these people expecting 'this tf of theirs' to want to even be near them when they are so very easily triggered. and you know you got them triggered (unintentional, sometimes some 'butt-in' on the subject that wasn't even their post originally nor who you replied to) to let YOU know, you ticked them off. I have to laugh. because i see why they are miserable. They dont want to deal with anything that triggers, like everything else that triggered them, got swept under the rug. awaiting the next thing or person to trigger it into the open. yet they remain unconscious about it, fault you for it and use ignorance and some swiping slighted insult. and you seriously wonder why they are gone? not 'there' with you? Heck, if i or anyone else can pull up an ouchie hurt then im sure your 'tf' does and you all know what that means.

[Dargor]

Originally Posted by Inika

And this will always be reflected back at you.

Sorry but having a one-sided relationship with someone who isn't interested in me, isn't in my own best interest neither. I'd rather waste time and energy on the right ones who at least return the favor.