How to forgive a manipulator?

[RedEmbers]

How can I forgive someone who is blind to the truth?

Someone close to me hurt me for many years with manipulation... making me believe that someone else was crazy and getting me to side with them against this person.

I was a child at the time so I didn't realise the manipulation was happening.

This person made me shut down a part of myself and I don't know how to get it back.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

How can I forgive someone who is blind to the truth?

Someone close to me hurt me for many years with manipulation... making me believe that someone else was crazy and getting me to side with them against this person.

I was a child at the time so I didn't realise the manipulation was happening.

This person made me shut down a part of myself and I don't know how to get it back.

Hi there.

It is indeed possible, but it requires a different perspective of the situation. At its core, the experience you had with this person contains a lesson. This lesson really has to do with your reaction to the experience, your ability to look at it in a more positive light, and to understand that when you were being deceived that you did the best you knew how to do at that time.

After all, we can only behave/react based upon our current state of awareness. Now that you are more mature and integrated, you can look at the situation anew, if you so choose, forgiving yourself, and this is how you can do it:

Self-forgiveness isn't what most people assume it is. It is not about, "I did something wrong that I must forgive myself for." It is simply about being kind and loving to oneself no matter what happened in the past, and no matter what is presently happening in one's experience. It is developing an attitude that essentially says, "Well, that was then, but this is now. Where I am is here and now, and so I am choosing to make the best of my current situation."

You see, the less that you obsess over this person that "deceived" you, through focusing more on making positive decisions in your present life experience, forgiveness of others comes naturally.

Most people have this ridiculous belief that it is possible to forgive others without bothering to forgive oneself, and this is because most people have victim consciousness that runs very deep in their psyche, far more than they realize. Unless a person has spent much quality self-reflective time by oneself, he or she will not be very consciously aware of their deep "subconscious" beliefs, you see.

There is no forgiving another without forgiving oneself. Self-forgiveness is actually forgiving all others in the very expression of self-love, in the very moment of being at ease with oneself. Forgiveness is not about, "I must forgive this person who has done me wrong." The quicker you come to realize this and let go of that silly belief that most people have to a large degree, the better, and you will feel a new sense of relief and well-being through the letting go of that false understanding of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is about allowing oneself to experience relief from suffering. That is forgiveness. Forgiveness is essentially about focusing on one's own journey of healing, discovering what makes one's own heart sing, and following one's natural inner inclination to experience joy, for on a deep soul level everyone inherently wants to experience joy.

Why worry and obsess over someone else who you are judging to be "blind to the truth" when it is your own blindness that must be healed in order for you to be liberated from suffering? I do not mean this is a harsh way, for we all have our blind spots, so to speak. No one is all-seeing, after all. . .this is what I mean. You no doubt, in my mind, are very much aware of many things that you could let emotionally let go of, if you choose to do so.

I hope that some of my ideas here help to inspire you with a new perspective on your situation. Sending thoughts of love to other person in question would very much help, whenever this person comes to mind. Sending thoughts of love to another is part of the emotional healing and self-forgiveness process, yet the most vital part is in learning to love and honor oneself no matter what happened/happens.

Blessed, blessed you are. Peace.

[RedEmbers]

Originally Posted by awareness

Hi there.

It is indeed possible, but it requires a different perspective of the situation. At its core, the experience you had with this person contains a lesson. This lesson really has to do with your reaction to the experience, your ability to look at it in a more positive light, and to understand that when you were being deceived that you did the best you knew how to do at that time.

After all, we can only behave/react based upon our current state of awareness. Now that you are more mature and integrated, you can look at the situation anew, if you so choose, forgiving yourself, and this is how you can do it:

Self-forgiveness isn't what most people assume it is. It is not about, "I did something wrong that I must forgive myself for." It is simply about being kind and loving to oneself no matter what happened in the past, and no matter what is presently happening in one's experience. It is developing an attitude that essentially says, "Well, that was then, but this is now. Where I am is here and now, and so I am choosing to make the best of my current situation."

You see, the less that you obsess over this person that "deceived" you, through focusing more on making positive decisions in your present life experience, forgiveness of others comes naturally.

Most people have this ridiculous belief that it is possible to forgive others without bothering to forgive oneself, and this is because most people have victim consciousness that runs very deep in their psyche, far more than they realize. Unless a person has spent much quality self-reflective time by oneself, he or she will not be very consciously aware of their deep "subconscious" beliefs, you see.

There is no forgiving another without forgiving oneself. Self-forgiveness is actually forgiving all others in the very expression of self-love, in the very moment of being at ease with oneself. Forgiveness is not about, "I must forgive this person who has done me wrong." The quicker you come to realize this and let go of that silly belief that most people have to a large degree, the better, and you will feel a new sense of relief and well-being through the letting go of that false understanding of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is about allowing oneself to experience relief from suffering. That is forgiveness. Forgiveness is essentially about focusing on one's own journey of healing, discovering what makes one's own heart sing, and following one's natural inner inclination to experience joy, for on a deep soul level everyone inherently wants to experience joy.

Why worry and obsess over someone else who you are judging to be "blind to the truth" when it is your own blindness that must be healed in order for you to be liberated from suffering? I do not mean this is a harsh way, for we all have our blind spots, so to speak. No one is all-seeing, after all. . .this is what I mean. You no doubt, in my mind, are very much aware of many things that you could let emotionally let go of, if you choose to do so.

I hope that some of my ideas here help to inspire you with a new perspective on your situation. Sending thoughts of love to other person in question would very much help, whenever this person comes to mind. Sending thoughts of love to another is part of the emotional healing and self-forgiveness process, yet the most vital part is in learning to love and honor oneself no matter what happened/happens.

Blessed, blessed you are. Peace.

Oh wow, thank you for such a perfect reply.

I knew that I was also 'being blind' to something as well.
I was angry at myself for so easily giving my power away and so there was self forgiveness involved.

I realise that it is only once I was able to forgive my own pain that I was then led to see a bigger picture.
I didn't want this bigger picture to reveal what I know to be true because I felt that through the process of forgiveness I was making it OK... excusing the behaviour.

I can appreciate now though - how I can get back in touch with that 'missing part' of me which I had shut down to protect myself. I am also now very hyper aware of when my energy is and has been manipulated.
So again healing brings lessons as well as blessings of awareness.

Part of me really would have loved an apology which I realise may not be possible.

I did recieve an apology though on the God plane... It was from source energy and it was extremely comforting.
I also felt some intense healing energy come through and cocoon me which is still present now, so certainly progress has been made.

Thank you again for your reply. It was perfect timing and reminded me of the truth I am now ready to see.

[awareness]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

Oh wow, thank you for such a perfect reply.

I knew that I was also 'being blind' to something as well.
I was angry at myself for so easily giving my power away and so there was self forgiveness involved.

I realise that it is only once I was able to forgive my own pain that I was then led to see a bigger picture.
I didn't want this bigger picture to reveal what I know to be true because I felt that through the process of forgiveness I was making it OK... excusing the behaviour.

I can appreciate now though - how I can get back in touch with that 'missing part' of me which I had shut down to protect myself. I am also now very hyper aware of when my energy is and has been manipulated.
So again healing brings lessons as well as blessings of awareness.

Part of me really would have loved an apology which I realise may not be possible.

I did recieve an apology though on the God plane... It was from source energy and it was extremely comforting.
I also felt some intense healing energy come through and cocoon me which is still present now, so certainly progress has been made.

Thank you again for your reply. It was perfect timing and reminded me of the truth I am now ready to see.

Hello again.

You are very, very, very welcome, my friend, RedEmbers. I am very happy that you have such a great attitude. Very excellent. Thank you for sharing your heart wisdom. I love the energy cocoon phenomenon that you are experiencing, that is awesome. Very best wishes.

[Golden Eagle]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

How can I forgive someone who is blind to the truth?

Someone close to me hurt me for many years with manipulation... making me believe that someone else was crazy and getting me to side with them against this person.

I was a child at the time so I didn't realise the manipulation was happening.

This person made me shut down a part of myself and I don't know how to get it back.

You do not have get it back ...... IT is still within you , just covered over by false ideas generated by ego to keep you in the Dark.

It will take some time to clear those false ideas , some daily Practice too !

The Secret Of letting Go by Guy Finley ~
The Mystic Path To Cosmic Power by Vernon Howard ~
and finally the most important : A Course In Miracles

FREE YOURSELF!