How to overcome a deep seated anger that arises within me around small dogs

586360 · #1 07-02-2017, 01:36 PM

I have a problem where I feel a very deep anger at small dogs. It has to be very specific breeds of dogs, most dogs I love, but the very small rat-like dogs I feel a deep disdain towards and it is a problem for me.

You might be thinking that lots of people get annoyed at small dogs or don't particulary like them, but this is different. I feel a need to push them around while containing the anger by biting my lip very hard. I did not realize I even had this problem until I found myself around the specific dogs that for whatever reason, spark this anger inside of me. The anger is worst when I see them running around being happy. Then I have to bite my lip and contain the feelings of anger coming up inside me.

I used to feel the same anger when I would go on family reunions and see older cousins pick up their little kids and kiss and hug them. I don't have that problem anymore, but at the time it made me angry to see that because I wasn't treated like that. My older sister, growing up, had a need to take her anger out on me and regularly did so, usually in passive aggressive ways. I'm almost certain that this is where my problem comes from.

I cannot explain why I only seem to have this problem with very specific small dogs, but I want to know how I can overcome it. I am working on getting a therapist but I wondered if there is anything that can be done on my own.

Patrycia-Rose · #2 07-02-2017, 02:28 PM

I would suggest you look into EFT (emotional freedom technique) it would be brilliant for addressing this kind of issue. You could learn it from an EFT practitioner if you're able to find one locally. Alternatively, there are plenty of youtube videos demonstrating how to do EFT (and it won't cost you anything). I've used it for well over ten years now and has been a life saver for me.

Gary Craig is the founder of EFT. This is a link to youtube in which he demonstrates how to perform it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wG2FA4vfLQ

586360 · #3 08-02-2017, 06:15 PM

[quote=Patrycia-Rose]I would suggest you look into EFT (emotional freedom technique) it would be brilliant for addressing this kind of issue. You could learn it from an EFT practitioner if you're able to find one locally. Alternatively, there are plenty of youtube videos demonstrating how to do EFT (and it won't cost you anything). I've used it for well over ten years now and has been a life saver for me.

Gary Craig is the founder of EFT. This is a link to youtube in which he demonstrates how to perform it.

Thank you for your help, I will most definitely be looking into it.

I also wondered what you think of this:

Well I guess I'm not allowed to post links but it is something I found when googling how to cultivate compassion where you basically try to put yourself in the shoes of others

Patrycia-Rose · #4 08-02-2017, 07:10 PM

I would look to learn the EFT in the first instance. You have more than likely pinpointed your problem - Your relationship with your sister. Are there one or two specific incidents with her that you remember more clearly? Did she hurt you physically? If you can write down how it made you feel without becoming too intense about it, that would be a good place to start. If the memories are too upsetting there is an EFT procedure called the tearless trauma technique which enables you to tap on the event without engaging with it emotionally. There is a video on YouTube of Gary Craig doing this with an entire audience. It is fascinating to watch but I would advise practising the basic tapping procedure until you are really comfortable with it.

You may find if you can clear the trauma regarding your sister the issues with dogs may well disappear.

586360 · #5 08-02-2017, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I would look to learn the EFT in the first instance. You have more than likely pinpointed your problem - Your relationship with your sister. Are there one or two specific incidents with her that you remember more clearly? Did she hurt you physically? If you can write down how it made you feel without becoming too intense about it, that would be a good place to start. If the memories are too upsetting there is an EFT procedure called the tearless trauma technique which enables you to tap on the event without engaging with it emotionally. There is a video on YouTube of Gary Craig doing this with an entire audience. It is fascinating to watch but I would advise practising the basic tapping procedure until you are really comfortable with it.

You may find if you can clear the trauma regarding your sister the issues with dogs may well disappear.

There are lots of things I can remember with my sister and mother. I think that my sister, mother and grandma on mom's side all have or at one time had the same issue although not with dogs but with other things.

I hope you are correct, but I already know of some of the trauma my family inflicted upon me. What other things would be involved in working through it?

Patrycia-Rose · #6 08-02-2017, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 586360

There are lots of things I can remember with my sister and mother. I think that my sister, mother and grandma on mom's side all have or at one time had the same issue although not with dogs

Sounds as though there is a generational issue with anger but your particular trigger is dogs.

There will be people on this forum who would suggest you consider past life regression which is outside of my experience and something you may or may not feel comfortable with exploring.

With any kind of treatment or healing approach it is critical that you feel comfortable with the treatment/healing and the practitioner if one is involved. If something doesn't feel right at an instinctive level then I would suggest you go with your instincts.

One of the reasons I like EFT is you can do this for yourself any time, anywhere. It sounds as though you have good insight to your situation and I think if you take the time to learn EFT and become confident in using it, that's a healing tool you have for life that can be used for anything. Look at book reviews, look at Gary Craig's website, there is a forum on here for EFT, spend some time getting acquainted with it, practise tapping, build your knowledge and see what it can do.