Weird experiences & don’t like this path anymore

[Jellybean23]

Hi, so I thought I met my twin flame in 2017. There was this girl right before her in 2016, who I questioned if she was my twin flame, but I didn’t know the word when I knew her. When I met the second girl, I googled the word soulmate and eventually found twin flame stuff.

I had a twin flame healers appointment before, and I sent my link to the girl, along with other links I think on that day. And all she said was, “could you resend the links?”

I had one out of body experience around this time, then I had a dream where the girl said, “I’m going to kiss you,” then she turned into glittering energies, and I had a feeling that I did. Then I was flying out of my body, and I thought that she was flying out of body with me, but I don’t know if it was another entity masking as her. I stopped the out of body from happening, while I was flying in black, because I got scared.

I had more dreams with her, some lucid, and they were really interesting.

Fast forward to 2018, I started hearing voices and having visions. I had one state where I saw all black then heard her voice saying happy birthday and maybe singing. Then one of my first voice experiences was hearing her saying, “she (my name) draws good,” and her mom said, “yeah she (my name) draws good.” And the day before that I drew on their art easel. I saw all black in that state too, but I was kind of in a dream state.

Eventually I started hearing voices all day, and one voice always sounded like hers. I’ve had other friends too on one day and youtubers, and some unfamiliar voices. The voices say different things. I’ve heard her sing before again, and I thought I heard her sharing a text of mine to a professor. Weird states got created. I eventually got diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on medicine, so now I only hear voices sometimes. And the one that sounds like her has stuck around as well as a few unfamiliar voices.

I also had a lucid dream almost out of body kind of state where I was hovering over her courtyard and saw a caterpillar. The day before I saw a caterpillar on her courtyard. I thought this was an experience of remote viewing, because I read all about that.

I don’t know what triggered the voices but I wish I could unread all that I’ve read, yet the concept of twin flame seemed so liberating at the time. I had two visions after I met the first girl though, and had weird lucid dreams.

Recently a voice of mine has said, “tell (girl’s name) you love her and care about her sexuality.” So I said it. Then that night I felt my heart beating a lot like in an old way, and I thought I wasn’t capable of that anymore from medicine, so I don’t know if I was kind of in the dream state.

My voices feel like endless lies sometimes, yet it’s like what gets created is whatever you want, and you’re free to have that. I don’t know what to make of them. The twin flame idea doesn’t fit for me anymore, and I don’t feel so influenced by ideologies now, as powerful as they used to be for me. I think that’s from medicine.

I’ve gone to Christian counselors about my voices, and they said that they were demons and demonic. It is really hard for me to see that, because I’ve liked some of my conversations with them, like with the one girl’s voice.

My voices have brought up dharmic union and have said that they are dharmic healers. And dharmic union is kind of like the twin flame idea. They just started saying this stuff recently. They used to never say this.

I sent a message to the girl how I wanted her to stop doing sexual things, when I got to Christianity, and she sent a message back that she was going to block me, that she was planning on blocking me, and she blocked me. But I’m not really into Christianity now.

[57tcjc75]

Hi Jellybean.. I am a strong Christian believer but cannot talk with most about the idea of past lives & many would think this whole idea of twin flames etc is nuts.. I was a believer when I consciously met my twin flame I awakened with 15 yrs ago.
I've read on a few sites that one can have 7 twin flames, one twin ray, multiple soul mates, etc.. I think this all depends probably on the person etc....
I think it makes sense to me .. the theory of 7 t.f.'s and one twin ray ...
they say one can have like different sex t.f.'s like 3 male & 4 female etc...
IF there is a primary soul group, like 12 in a soul group and 144 in larger soul group.. & say some of the twin flames in primary soul group (is what I see for myself) & I for instance think my mom is a t.f. and my aunt is a t.f....
so 7 total. Now .. I think I have met a t.f. whom I have known for 20 yrs and if there is a closest of t.f. likely he is it... but I ascribe to soul family..
like the soul group of 144 and primary soul group..

For myself I see like a matrix where it is male/ then female .. this is my belief.. so it doesn't mix this way & I know not everyone believes the same but my beliefs are Christian & go along with that way but like I say many Christians don't believe in past lives..
OK so what I see personally ...
If we are light beings in heaven transformed & soul families from beginning of time... & there are closer souls, like primary twelve then 144 larger group & then outward like a matrix like God creates us from beginning of time...
I think like the idea of 7 twin flames for instance, it would be a family member or closer friend & then maybe a lover (like my twin flame was in love with me 20 yrs ago but I was oblivious to twin flames & had to find myself with another close souls t.f. guy...)...
So we evolve I believe.. & heal ..

[57tcjc75]

The idea of a matrix from beginning of time I think God could have created this.. then Jacob in 12 tribes it is a like a reset...
soul family with the 12 tribes at top of matrix (rather like that anyways)...
I love thinking of these connections into heaven..
so I am Christian & believe in this soul connection theory...
I also think there is bio family & family from beginning of time & it's kind of mixed up this way... but so as Christian it's like we are married to CHRIST..
if God Is Jealous God.. then it makes sense why these can fall apart sometimes.. but the idea is we are light beings transformed & the wedding is The Wedding Feast of The Lamb.. we higher dimensions / highest dimension is were Christ resides... so working through the healing & meeting of close souls is with the idea (as a Christian) the ascension is heaven & we are one in & with Christ, as Light Beings/Transformed Bodies.. with our mission & jobs there in heaven (millennial reign then heaven after the 1000 yrs )...
Seeing past the veil.. toward heaven (higher dimensions) ...
is about healing of self, to develop self & love, everyone...
& learning to BE.. our highest self (Christ self).. of which they say twin flames are a part of this.. & close souls...
for me I see this with direction.. which helps.. that way it's not without a destination or an attachment.. the destination is heaven, the attachment, Christ.. but .. we are one in & with HIM...
I think God allows those in our lives when we are ready for them & they us.. there is a saying, "when the student is ready, the teacher arrives."
This is my Christian version of these soul connections.. I know there are various beliefs & ideas here & other places but you mentioned your Christian counselor.. I don't know if this helps as to how I link it in..
not trying to do conversions here but to share my belief in regards & relating to.. your post. :)
Take care!