Forgiveness in this life and the next

This is a little embarrassing but here goes.

I was cheated of my money by a girl that I had an interest in. She asked for a loan to settle some problems and then disappeared. There are 2 possibility in this.

1)I cheated her in a previous life, and now I'm paying back.
2)I'm stupid (getting cheated) being sympathetic to her problems.

My question is, if it's the 1st case, dos it mean that it has come full circle and it will not happen anymore in our future lives? if not then how can I put an end to it?

If it's case 2, then how can I release it and lay it to rest, with the hope that there will not be a me seeking vengeance in my future life?

I've chosen to forgive and forget, I've accepted that it happened and wish to put a close to it. I can't find her, so I can't tell her directly that I've forgiven her.

I would think that as long as you hold the intention to forgive and forget, then that should be good enough to break any built up negative karmic debt for the next life. However, after this girl returns back to spirit and realizes that she had done wrong to you, she may wish to make it up to you somehow in a positive way, by providing some kind of help for you in the next life. So when you look at it from that point of view, would you deny her the ability to try to make up for her poor actions against you? Can you accept the fact that her soul may wish to make amends to you?

Karmic debt isn't just about some kind of IOU debt that you're forced to pay back or else. It can also be an agreement to make amends for something you wish to make up for, simply because your soul now understands the hardship that your actions have created. You also have the choice of whether doing something special for that same person, or for someone(s) else, should the original person you've harmed wish to bow out. This is just a part of the process of how souls learn to become compassionate to others.

When we do things that are not so nice to someone else, we are privy to all the circumstances that lead up to how and why we did what we did. It could have been for selfish reasons, or survival reasons. And by analyzing this kind of stuff between our life cycles (or even while we are here), we have the opportunity to gain so much more understanding of why other people do things the way they do, when we compare and contrast our actions to the actions of others. We all have our own reason and excuses for doing the things we do, whether is's good or bad for someone else. And once we can understand that other people also had their own reasons and excuses, regardless if they were good or bad reasons and excuses, we can then see all the similarities between us and them. This is where the understanding comes in. This is where we decide whether both, our bad deeds and their bad deeds, aren't so bad in the grand scheme of things, that those deeds can actually be forgiven. This is where we find our compassion, for not only ourselves, but for others too. And this is how we grow spiritually, through being open enough to understand ourselves, as well as others, enough to forgive all the trespasses against us.

So instead of feeling embarrassed or stupid, just look at it as something that just happened, and forgive yourself as well as her. While yes, there's always lessons to be learned in everything that just happens, it's up to us just what kind of lesson we want to learn from it.

Do you want to learn how to set boundaries so no one else could take advantage of your kindness?

Do you want to learn how to be more charitable even to those who may not really deserve it, but could help them grow when they're reviewing their life, by realizing just how much compassion someone else showed them by being so loving and forgiving?

Do you want to learn how to let go of all the bad things that may come your way, in order to find more of an inner peace?

The possibilities of just what kind of lesson you want to learn, are endless. But I would advise that what ever you choose to learn from this and other situations, that it be more in tune with a positive outlook, then a negative one. Such as hanging on to negative feelings and emotions about helping people in the future. We all get burned by people at one time or another. But it's how we deal with it, that either helps or hinders our own personal growth.

[alamode]

Originally Posted by Trieah

When we do things that are not so nice to someone else, we are privy to all the circumstances that lead up to how and why we did what we did. It could have been for selfish reasons, or survival reasons.

I hope it matters the most what our "intentions" are behind what we choose to do, if it is negatively affecting someone? By negative, meaning more that it is causing the person to be "unhappy", but we are not "intentionally" trying to make the person unhappy. As you mentioned, our intentions can be for survival reasons, so say, financial reasons, in my case, but not selfish reasons. Also, happiness is something we choose ourselves, right? We shouldn't depend on someone else to make us happy. I guess I'm kind of asking more for my own situation, lol and I probably don't make a whole lot of sense without going into specific details here. I would have to write a whole novel, lol.

Well, since I'm not really aware of your personal situation, it's hard for me to give an answer that would fit what you're going through, since obviously not every kind of situation out there is going to fit into the exact same type of pattern.

While yes, intentions do play a large role in what we do, or what our results are, but you also have to factor in the other people who were involved. I think the more interesting questions would be, just how much are we hurting others, just so we can survive? Doesn't their survival count as well?

And as for personal happiness, yes we are responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. But, that's not to say that our happiness can not be influenced by the people and situations around us. If someone you care about enough to help, constantly takes advantage of you, how does that make you feel inside? Trust me, it takes a whole lot of inner strength to be taken advantage of over and over and over again, and still find enough happiness in your heart to continue to help them and others when it's needed. Become understanding of the other persons feeling in any given situation, and at least consider giving them the same kind of compassion that you would wish to be shown yourself.

Yes, some people really can hold onto their happiness, no matter what kind of situation happens to them. But not everyone can be like that, and they must struggle and fight to hang on to their happiness. So the real question is, just how much harm are you really causing to another person, by taking advantage of them, just so you can survive? Just how out of balance is the true situation, when looked at from both sides?

Again, I don't know what your situation is, but if there is a lot of imbalance in what you're dealing with, then perhaps it's time to reevaluate the pros and cons to see if you are growing spiritually, or holding yourself back by creating an unfair situation which benefits you way more then the other person(s) involved. Only you, and the other person(s) involved are going to know the real answer to your situation. But my advice would be, to think about giving back what you have been given, when you are able to do so. Either to that person (if they want/need it), or to other persons who may be where you were. Also, become compassionate enough to at least consider showing the other person the same kind of compassion that you would wish to receive from them.

[fire]

If this was a "payback" thing, I can only imagine it must have been decided upon between you and that girl before an incarnation. However, more likely than not, it could be an event caused by the karmic record of your soul. If you have a difficult relationship with money in general, you're likely to attract events in your life that will reflect upon this. Thus, if anything, I would suggest you examine your relationship with money, particularly by tracing what you feel from this situation. It could for instance be that you subconsciously anticipated such an event, based on a similar event from the past or a past life.

It could also be something more obscure, among the lines of sacrificing too much of yourself (your energy) for another, thus creating an energetic lack that would manifest like this. If you have a mindset that says "I'll sacrifice myself for this now; she'll be worth it later", that could very well create an energetic debt in you.

Just my two cents (cheap pun intended).

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by LivingSoul

If it's case 2, then how can I release it and lay it to rest, with the hope that there will not be a me seeking vengeance in my future life?

By knowing she is going to burn in hell....kidding.
But, knowing there is a Higher Power at work...your job is to be
practicing the Presence of the Divine - my way of saying -
''Keep focused on your Goal."

Yes, let it go - you may never know which it was...drop it....
whatever it was, drop it and
have faith in God that you have done the right thing,
not being distracted by it.
In that, is your peace and now proceed and get back onto your
real buisness here.

Thanks everyone for sharing your input. Thanks for opening my mind up more. :)

@Fire.

YES!! I got a very bad relationship with money. I'm forever in a situation where I need to find more money. With debts to service (still paying interest on the one I loaned to the girl), worse is that I'm currently out of job as my last employer didn't want to renew my contract, with cheap labor imports coming in freely to Singapore, the jobs are getting more scarce. :(

After reading your post, I did a search and will try to work out in my physical relationship with money. (the metaphysical ones never seem to work.)

Thanks again Fire and everyone of you who stopped by.

A little hugs and love for each and everyone of you

[fire]

Originally Posted by LivingSoul

Thanks everyone for sharing your input. Thanks for opening my mind up more. :)

@Fire.

YES!! I got a very bad relationship with money. I'm forever in a situation where I need to find more money. With debts to service (still paying interest on the one I loaned to the girl), worse is that I'm currently out of job as my last employer didn't want to renew my contract, with cheap labor imports coming in freely to Singapore, the jobs are getting more scarce. :(

After reading your post, I did a search and will try to work out in my physical relationship with money. (the metaphysical ones never seem to work.)

Thanks again Fire and everyone of you who stopped by.

A little hugs and love for each and everyone of you

I want to help you further. I understand that you want to approach this from a physical perspective, but fact of the matter is it won't make any permanent changes in your life, unless the issue is addressed at the root. In other words, you have to change what's in the quantum field of your soul, in order to change the nature of how your life unfolds before you.

The most easy suggestion I can give you here and now is to make a healing request under the healing section of the forums, where you address your desire for support to clear all debt and financial blockages.

I also get a hunch that it might be beneficial for you to enhance your receptivity to unconditional love and support. You can easily attune to this by simply using your intention to do so. If you feel a resonance with this idea, feel free to send me a PM, and I will give you more details on it.

I feel that you might also want to have a go at attuning yourself with some healing videos, in which case I would recommend this and this for you. Just allow your conscious mind to sit back and watch the video with an intent to receive what is given.

Best wishes for you.

As others posted already, forgiveness is a good start.

However, you need to exam what you lesson is in this event.
It is not really about she took your money and you forgive her.

It is JUST money. Not something that is permanent or enternally yours to hold.

Maybe your lesson is to "Let go of the focus on material possessions".
Without any regret, see it as just some money and do not let this event affect you.

It is not your karma as long as you just release the anger, regret, and loss from the event.

Think of it as someone took a handful of sands from your sand box.

[knightofalbion]

Wheter it was old karma or new karma, you've broken the chain and are free of it.

In any case, the girl's conscience might get the better of her and she'll return the money.

Either way, money is money, you can get more - and you can't take it with you! Put it into context.

Far from being "stupid" I'd say you've shown yourself to be a good, kind, trusting person. Fine qualities to have.

In the long run, even though she did take the money, you will be the richer and she will be the poorer...