My memories are becoming clearer

[Laulau79]

Ever since I was tiny I've had very painful and sometimes warm memories of being in native America. As a child I would see a Native American man visit me. He would just come and go. I'm now late thirties and just beginning if the year I met someone who I now see was a soulmate. It was intense, there was telepathy and it was often hard work. The pushing pulling became draining and I ended up being the runner :-(
We aren't currently in contact but the energy comes and goes
Anyway, the third time we were intimate and looked into each ithers eyes I saw it. Those were the very eyes I had seen many times over and when we hugged or touched it was like coming home. It was like oh thank god there yiu are.
I have vivid painful memories of being in a warm teepee and he was taken very suddenly. There was no goodbye no closure and it reduces me to tears at times. It was v raw and painful. After a while the relationship ( in this life) turned from sexual chemistry to something way deeper or spiritual that I couldn't understand it. I wasn't sure if maybe the spark was gone.
We aren't in contact and we are both dating again. His new lady friend does not allow him to be in contact with me
He asked me to marry me twice and I just kept pushing him away :-(
I feel like I lost a piece of me. A part of my soul and it's sometimes hurtful but sons times I just feel thankful that I was able to see those eyes again
I never told him this but on our last meeting he kissed my forehead and told me I'm his little soulmate
There is a big age gap him being over 11 years older
But we just felt equal. A silent mutual understanding that did not need words
I have been remembering more about my loss in my past life and I swear I never felt loss like it
I needed to share that and I hope no one thinks I'm insane
That I'm certainly not x

You clearly love each other and think of each other as soul mates. I would consider returning to him and giving it your all. If you don't, and years go by, you will feel the empty void of wondering if it could have worked out.

He is 11 years older.... this should not be an issue. Love is love. Its also not unheard of for a man to be older than his mate.

I'd say, run to him. Embrace him. Don't run away.

[alamode]

I'd go be with him! Why not?! Do what makes you happy.

[Laulau79]

He's seeing someone else but I've been told it's not working. He's not happy and keeps asking after me a lot.
I have to let fate take it's course and for him to now do right thing?
What will be will be. It's not his fault I kept pushing him away so much :-(

[alamode]

That's ok of he's seeing someone else. Fate can only present opportunities but then you have to use your free will to take action. I was married when I started talking to my current mate, my soul connection. I had to use my free will and get a divorce so I could be with my true love instead.

[Miss Hepburn]

It amazes me how deep we have these past life connections and loves,
like with no one else...goes back so far...so profound and deep...
but, then...it is not meant to be...'not this time'.

I don't get it, personally, except that we just have so many other things to learn...not just be together.

This is a deep soul understanding I have accepted...that I can hold that love inside me...
it never goes away...
we do not 'need' to actually live out this particular life together.

So, then, the heartache transforms into the maturity of wisdom.
Very similar to a mother letting her child go off on his way....
That love is a stronger invisible force than we can imagine...there
is no 'need' to actually be together 'here', remember.
You will see each other soon enough...and compare adventures.

Sigh...these connections are so special.


That pushing away? Well, of course, the fear of reliving him disappearing
again has made it's mark. It's all about fear...most things are...well, everything is at it's core!

[Laulau79]

Alamode I can't do that :-(
My husband left me for someone else and it was so awful for me and the kids
Obviously this is different cos he's only been seeing her couple months etc but I hate hurting others :-(

[alamode]

Originally Posted by Laulau79

Alamode I can't do that :-(
My husband left me for someone else and it was so awful for me and the kids
Obviously this is different cos he's only been seeing her couple months etc but I hate hurting others :-(

Since this is the past lives forum, how about looking at this situation from a different view. There is no such thing as marriage or families in the spiritual world, our home. We are just having a temporary human experience. It's quite likely that before both of you chose to incarnate, you chose for this to happen, to experience. Instead of viewing it as something awful or hurt feelings, instead welcome it as a change, an opportunity to pursue the experiences that you want while you're in this temporary human body. Humans are supposed to have hurt emotions, it's ok.

[Laulau79]

I'm going to send a Christmas card so he knows there is still friendship there. It was a turbulent courtship. Closer than close intense then pull apart ( him too at times) he was often unreliable and I would become cool and aloof. But when together we were magnets and it sucks :-(
He told me he never experienced chemistry like it and tbh neither had I.
But I cannot be with someone unreliable like that you see.
I wish life was easier! I'm dating someone lovely. Reliable, consistent and nice
But that connection I can't get again. And wouldn't it be awful if I never get that again :-( aghhh

Originally Posted by Laulau79

I'm going to send a Christmas card so he knows there is still friendship there. It was a turbulent courtship. Closer than close intense then pull apart ( him too at times) he was often unreliable and I would become cool and aloof. But when together we were magnets and it sucks :-(
He told me he never experienced chemistry like it and tbh neither had I.
But I cannot be with someone unreliable like that you see.
I wish life was easier! I'm dating someone lovely. Reliable, consistent and nice
But that connection I can't get again. And wouldn't it be awful if I never get that again :-( aghhh

if you guys were magnets when together then why did you reject his proposal "twice"...?

unreliability and magnet do not make sense from your story. think why you rejected the proposals , forgive and move on.

Looking in the past at such connections do not seem very healthy.

my 2 cents