Fear is Still Kicking Me in the Behind.

[SierraNevadaStar]

Despite meditating, decreeing, praying and practicing in other ways spiritually, I am still struggling with fear. If I try to ignore fearful, worrisome thoughts and go on about my day by distracting myself with more pleasant things, fear often shows up in my dreams via horrible nightmares (in which some of my worst fears are realized leading me to wake up frantic and/or depressed).

At this point, I am not sure how to handle it. Am I merely squelching my fears rather than dealing with them so that they then manifest in my dreams? Fear has been my nemesis since I was three or four years-old.

I have been trying to practice sublimation as much as I can by working on my writing, learning to play the guitar, reading, cooking/baking and spending time with my son, etc.

Still, I can get on the ol' fear train (woo-woo!) and once I am on it, it becomes next to impossible to disembark sometimes. I have a mind that can fixate on things for hours (about two decades ago, I suffered from severe OCD). Unfortunately, I was 'conditioned' to worry, to often think 'what if.' Now and then, I can get bad headaches when a bout of fear is especially strong. Sometimes, I even feel sick from fear and throw up. I don't so much suffer from 'fight of flight syndrome.' No, instead, I 'freeze up.' I do nothing but stay still and watch as my mind spins a web which I then get caught up in. I am tired of living this way and feel drained and powerless a lot of the time.

I have tried therapy on and off over the years, but it seldom works for me as to fear. I know that If I did not practice spiritually, my situation would be even worse. Some days, I seem able to glide on by my doubts and fears with little anxiety. I wish I could say those days were the majority, but they are not.

I used to 'in the divine flow' and it was wonderful. I miss it. Somehow, at the time I was able to let go of much of - though not all of - my fear. Of course, I cannot be 'in the flow' like this and that troubles me.

If anyone could offer some advice or support in this regard, I'd be much obliged. Thanks.

[OEN34]

What is your fear, if you don't mind sharing it please?

How often are you experiencing this fear? Minutely, hourly, a few times a day etc? Is it a thought-based fear or a physical fear?

Also, what meditation are you practicing?

This information will help.

jesus, cover me in your blood so
i do release from all bad, amen
for short : jesus cover me. amen

this prayer has the prayer
power of the person who
drew it. amen.

m. m. : put up your heart.
amen.

jesus! help!

i recoll jesus rescues at
dreaming.

guaranteeded.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar

Despite meditating, decreeing, praying and practicing in other ways spiritually, I am still struggling with fear. If I try to ignore fearful, worrisome thoughts and go on about my day by distracting myself with more pleasant things, fear often shows up in my dreams via horrible nightmares (in which some of my worst fears are realized leading me to wake up frantic and/or depressed).

At this point, I am not sure how to handle it. Am I merely squelching my fears rather than dealing with them so that they then manifest in my dreams? Fear has been my nemesis since I was three or four years-old.

I have been trying to practice sublimation as much as I can by working on my writing, learning to play the guitar, reading, cooking/baking and spending time with my son, etc.

Still, I can get on the ol' fear train (woo-woo!) and once I am on it, it becomes next to impossible to disembark sometimes. I have a mind that can fixate on things for hours (about two decades ago, I suffered from severe OCD). Unfortunately, I was 'conditioned' to worry, to often think 'what if.' Now and then, I can get bad headaches when a bout of fear is especially strong. Sometimes, I even feel sick from fear and throw up. I don't so much suffer from 'fight of flight syndrome.' No, instead, I 'freeze up.' I do nothing but stay still and watch as my mind spins a web which I then get caught up in. I am tired of living this way and feel drained and powerless a lot of the time.

I have tried therapy on and off over the years, but it seldom works for me as to fear. I know that If I did not practice spiritually, my situation would be even worse. Some days, I seem able to glide on by my doubts and fears with little anxiety. I wish I could say those days were the majority, but they are not.

I used to 'in the divine flow' and it was wonderful. I miss it. Somehow, at the time I was able to let go of much of - though not all of - my fear. Of course, I cannot be 'in the flow' like this and that troubles me.

If anyone could offer some advice or support in this regard, I'd be much obliged. Thanks.

I sympathize with you. I had to crawl out of this over many many years of difficulty, often alone It takes conscious practice to become more balanced within yourself. For a mind trapped by fear and the fear of fear itself, as I know I was, you literally have to retrain yourself in so many ways of you and also your mind in the moment it takes over in fear.

Change and the unknown can trigger the depth of this stuff, so both of those aspects are worth looking at with regards to your mind and training it. I walked through most of mine and entered the fullness of emotional fallout carried in the depression, fear to feel, fear to look and fear to face it fully. It was the only way for me, trapped and contained. When your consumed by fear, it literally becomes your best friend until you shift it back to trust and love. So it leads you in every area of your life.

Your body will show its readiness to release and let go. And if your not fully engaged to listen and face it, it will keep coming through dreams and other means to show you to face some aspects of this. You cant do it all at once but certainly you can walk more consciously with affirming statements to change the channel when fear and spiral into the mind takes over.

Frozen in fear, is challenging because you literally have no where to go but be present with what is. Those moments are opportunities to breath deep and drop into your belly instead of your head doing cartwheels and spiralling. It is a conscious shift to move deeper and let the breath clear you and move you forward. You will find you wont have to be to involved in what the fear is doing in this way but more focused on your breath and core. That is a shift in the channel in you. Not giving the fear food by not allowing your body to move differently.

THe more you take control of your body mind through these frozen times, the more you will feel safe to move forward and know your overcoming with a tool to manage as well as seeing results. Fear of fear and the unknown needs to feel safe, needs to see results from its own self sourcing inner world and needs supportive understanding people around you who are patient and loving. You have to believe you can do this, believe you have the tools in you to do it, want to be free from this consumed attack from fear.

Remember that all this is not you, but conditioned you by others and the world around you. So your really letting go of what is not you to know how you can be and manage your own life more clear and free from fear.

If it helps you to feel inspired. I moved from living like you for over forty years into a liberated state of being. I choose to not let fear take over any part of my being. I challenge myself now to do things that fear in the past said, I could not do. I do it anyway, if I don't, I know I will live a life dictated by fear and the power it once had over me. I surround myself with supportive people who help me to move forward where I might be triggered by old fears or old comfort zones. I trust them and they support me

I sought out many ways to heal and let go of my fear consuming me in everyway, but in the end I had to walk them through myself. The external support was only supporting me to let the layers over the top of the core fears to be opened. Then I had to do the work myself. Let those deeper fears in my core open and walk through to know I could set myself free.

My core fears were these if it helps you understand something deeper in you in another way or similar.

I feared death, I feared to live fully. I feared suffering and I feared to feel fear fully. Once I walked through these roots lingering in me holding me ransom, I was able to then manage myself more empowered, slow and steady it was but I had "Room" to breathe and be aware I was not those things anymore.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

as i see it:
the source of all being, the "prime creator", is not threatened by anything
whatsoever. mother/father goddess has not created anything which might
bring it harm. all of us are aspects of source energy; we are offshoots of
prime creator. the idea that something might cause damage to us can only
exist in the imagination... it is not based on truth.
humanity has experienced an imagined separation from source energy,
allowing the belief that "evil" has existence, and that death is an inevitable
feature of life [a bizarre notion]. in truth, life is eternal, and there is no
cause for fear of any kind. a "veil of forgetfulness" has been placed over
virtually all earth-dwellers so it seems... as a means to learn some lessons
of life. the energy of that veil may feed fearfulness in those who are
unwilling or unable to accept that there is no separation. the lifting of the
veil will cease the cause of fear to be present, and it will pass away.
SierraNevadaStar, for you to have a sensitivity to the energy of
doubt and fear could indicate that you've had an unshakable connection
to the reassurance of 'living in light' at other points (in prior lifes?) and
that you've volunteered to 'test your faith' in this lifetime. when the burden
of doubtfulness is lifted from this world, you'll be greatly rewarded.
as a practical matter, until the veil gets lifted, you can't really expect to
"work with" the energy of fear... it's not something that fosters creativity;
it acts as a contrary force to loving light.

[SierraNevadaStar]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

as i see it:
the source of all being, the "prime creator", is not threatened by anything
whatsoever. mother/father goddess has not created anything which might
bring it harm. all of us are aspects of source energy; we are offshoots of
prime creator. the idea that something might cause damage to us can only
exist in the imagination... it is not based on truth.
humanity has experienced an imagined separation from source energy,
allowing the belief that "evil" has existence, and that death is an inevitable
feature of life [a bizarre notion]. in truth, life is eternal, and there is no
cause for fear of any kind. a "veil of forgetfulness" has been placed over
virtually all earth-dwellers so it seems... as a means to learn some lessons
of life. the energy of that veil may feed fearfulness in those who are
unwilling or unable to accept that there is no separation. the lifting of the
veil will cease the cause of fear to be present, and it will pass away.
SierraNevadaStar, for you to have a sensitivity to the energy of
doubt and fear could indicate that you've had an unshakable connection
to the reassurance of 'living in light' at other points (in prior lifes?) and
that you've volunteered to 'test your faith' in this lifetime. when the burden
of doubtfulness is lifted from this world, you'll be greatly rewarded.
as a practical matter, until the veil gets lifted, you can't really expect to
"work with" the energy of fear... it's not something that fosters creativity;
it acts as a contrary force to loving light.

It's interesting your saying this, Horace. I feel, is likely quite true in my own case. A few years back, I had this dream I was heading toward a lighthouse and was having to cross a large patch of ice before I reached it. I was nearly to the small cluster of rocks upon which the tower stood, when I froze in fear. I feared some sort of heartbreaking loss in the dream - even though I knew it was highly important that I reach the lighthouse, that I needed to walk on past my fear. I recall looking up to this bleak sky in the dream and fixating on my fear rather than moving onward. I felt so much desolation. I woke up feeling quite emotional.

Also interesting, is the fact that I had just done a, "Lift the Veils of Illusion" meditation a couple of weeks prior to the dream. In this dream, there was something significant which later revealed a truth in the here-and-now which had been hinted at in the dream. This was orchestrated via a whopper of a synchronicity. I had also done a casting of the I Ching with regards to the dream and it gave me amoving line speaking about a 'veil having been lifted' and to then move forth in my newfound 'knowing' (something I've not done because of, well, fear and I think I've since paid dearly for it.)

yes,

somebody who aught to fear you can imagine.
now close your eyes and imagine why not you
aught to fear. probably meditate why not you
aught fear, often, as a kick, those who belong
with truth, very you know who you are,
well then!

my two coppers.

[SaturninePluto]

Originally Posted by SierraNevadaStar

Despite meditating, decreeing, praying and practicing in other ways spiritually, I am still struggling with fear. If I try to ignore fearful, worrisome thoughts and go on about my day by distracting myself with more pleasant things, fear often shows up in my dreams via horrible nightmares (in which some of my worst fears are realized leading me to wake up frantic and/or depressed).

At this point, I am not sure how to handle it. Am I merely squelching my fears rather than dealing with them so that they then manifest in my dreams? Fear has been my nemesis since I was three or four years-old.

I have been trying to practice sublimation as much as I can by working on my writing, learning to play the guitar, reading, cooking/baking and spending time with my son, etc.

Still, I can get on the ol' fear train (woo-woo!) and once I am on it, it becomes next to impossible to disembark sometimes. I have a mind that can fixate on things for hours (about two decades ago, I suffered from severe OCD). Unfortunately, I was 'conditioned' to worry, to often think 'what if.' Now and then, I can get bad headaches when a bout of fear is especially strong. Sometimes, I even feel sick from fear and throw up. I don't so much suffer from 'fight of flight syndrome.' No, instead, I 'freeze up.' I do nothing but stay still and watch as my mind spins a web which I then get caught up in. I am tired of living this way and feel drained and powerless a lot of the time.

I have tried therapy on and off over the years, but it seldom works for me as to fear. I know that If I did not practice spiritually, my situation would be even worse. Some days, I seem able to glide on by my doubts and fears with little anxiety. I wish I could say those days were the majority, but they are not.

I used to 'in the divine flow' and it was wonderful. I miss it. Somehow, at the time I was able to let go of much of - though not all of - my fear. Of course, I cannot be 'in the flow' like this and that troubles me.

If anyone could offer some advice or support in this regard, I'd be much obliged. Thanks.

Another member has asked what these or this fears are or is, how often it occurs. I am inclined to ask the same thing?

Perhaps writing down first what is making you fearful, being honest with yourself, asking yourself first what these fears are or what exactly it is you feel you have to be fearful of, may help focus you to go deeper into the heart of the matter and to truly shed light onto what exactly it is you are fearing in the darkness.

You mentioned OCD. Let me attempt to give you an example of my own old fears to attempt to be of help.

My brother goes out for a night with a friend, he is out later and later into the am hours. I can not sleep as I am too focused on- He isn't back by now, is he okay? I tell myself it is fine, he is probably relaxing enjoying his time with his friends, relax- I try to get to bed and lay in the bed thinking- thoughts are now racing for an hour more and a half.

What am I worrying about in this scenario? What is the fear?

Consider I was thinking constantly "Has something happened to him"? "I hope he's alright". "I wish he'd just get home already so I can stop worrying..."

What fears of my own are showing their heads here? Well it is death and it is loss.

I am no counselor so am no medical professional , but I have had a period of time, mostly during the time where I was thinking thoughts like this, that even I was considering perhaps I had OCD. I mentioned these things to my nurse practitioners, yet they did not feel it necessary to diagnose me.

Perhaps identifying truly what it is you are fearing will help you to deal with the fear itself instead of what you think the fear represents.

Say you are worrying your son will have an accident when he is away from you. Write it out and not once but a few times: the statement at first may look like- I am afraid my son may have an accident. Then when it is reflected on with- but truly what is it I am afraid of it may change to- well I am fearful of separation, or I am fearful of loss, or fearful of death.

You may consider being outright honest with what it is you are truly afraid of, your son still has to go out, you can either choose to be where you are at and worry, or get honest with what you fear and identify it. Perhaps the counseling may not have helped because you were focused on the OCD, we here do not know what your therapists have tried to suggest already hon...

[happy soul]

What might be necessary is a healing. Not just a way to deal with fear, but an actual healing so you can more easily deal with it when it arises. This healing might require a new belief or understanding.

It's been said that fear depends on guilt. In other words, underneath fear, is guilt. Guilt (shame) is the cause of fear. You might not SEEM to yourself to have guilt, but that's why they call guilt and shame 'masters of disguise'. You see, they're easily concealed and hard to recognize.

Here's the good news. NO ONE IS GUILTY! You are completely and totally innocent, guilty of nothing.

It may seem strange that NO ONE is guilty, but we're human and we make mistakes. Everyone is doing their best.

If you can accept this idea, that you're guilty of nothing, I feel that you'll be healed to a great extent of your fear.

If you're skeptical about the fact that no one is guilty, then know that non-physical, 'channeled' entities, including the Angels through Doreen Virtue, Jesus through Paul Ferrini, Jesus in A Course in Miracles, and God through Neale Donald Walsch, all teach it.

The verdict: NOT GUILTY!

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

Originally Posted by happy soul

What might be necessary is a healing. Not just a way to deal with fear, but an actual healing so you can more easily deal with it when it arises. This healing might require a new belief or understanding.

It's been said that fear depends on guilt. In other words, underneath fear, is guilt. Guilt (shame) is the cause of fear. You might not SEEM to yourself to have guilt, but that's why they call guilt and shame 'masters of disguise'. You see, they're easily concealed and hard to recognize.

Here's the good news. NO ONE IS GUILTY! You are completely and totally innocent, guilty of nothing.

It may seem strange that NO ONE is guilty, but we're human and we make mistakes. Everyone is doing their best.

If you can accept this idea, that you're guilty of nothing, I feel that you'll be healed to a great extent of your fear.

If you're skeptical about the fact that no one is guilty, then know that non-physical, 'channeled' entities, including the Angels through Doreen Virtue, Jesus through Paul Ferrini, Jesus in A Course in Miracles, and God through Neale Donald Walsch, all teach it.

The verdict: NOT GUILTY!

i agree completely.

the operative element of guilt is "responsibility".
i sense that we can accept responsibility for the world being as it is,
without characterizing it as "bad" or an unworthy offering to god.
in one version of understanding how this universe came to be, we might
consider that we had begun in the presence of source energy, and purposefully
chosen to [seemingly] depart from that heavenly realm... for the purpose of 'expansion'.
we had volunteered to dive into the void, and recover lost will essence; to bring
spiritual light (which we house within us) into the darkness of nothingness.
ultimately, i believe, fear has no source to provide it with life energy...
it is void of meaning. to allow fear to "inform" us of truth is to mistake our origin
as being of the void. to have consciousness is to be 'of the light'.
rant complete.