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  #71  
Old 20-11-2017, 11:46 PM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davidsun
I think yo are being overly self-indulgent, and that that isn't truly worshiping God as you claim and 'comfort' your self by believing that's what you are doing. For one thing, your mother is (I believe ) an expression of THE Life-Shiva-Shakti-'Force' - albeit a 'problematic' one designed (and agreed to in advance, IMO) to make you 'stretch' your 'self' beyond its past-life 'comfort' zones, which you keep retreating into (and so 'failing' to 'stretch' beyond). Even if that;s not 'accurate' in terms of the real truth, I trust you will someday come to appreciate that that is the 'best' I can think to 'give' you (as well as what I think you most 'need' to 'receive' at this (present!) point in your (hopefully!) developmental (in due course at least) journey..


These often commingle - which 'fact' predominates depends on whether your motivation is selfish or unselfish, or more one than the other, I think.


I am considering the fact from the past (in this life) which you have shared that you have been 'serviced' by some quite 'sweetly' 'giving' therapists. Hence my conclusion that you are presently a 'spoiled', never satisfed, ever continuing to be self-indulging, 'brat'.


If you could only see what I see ... and that is that you just want to be given 'special' 'candy-coated' treatment and reject and 'guilt-trip' anything else! I think, you wouldn't be able to recognize a truly 'loving' parent (or 'older' brother?) if one was plopped right in front of your face!

"Ye have forgotten the exhortation [in your case you never received it, and are only receivniog it now, through 'me' ] which speaketh unto you as unto children, 'My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye b-a-s-t-a-r-d-s, and not sons."
I seem to have inadvertently anticipated this response with my reply above (post #67)...please read it. Thanks.
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  #72  
Old Yesterday, 01:31 AM
Khalli Khalli is offline
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Best therapist in the world:



1. doesn't cost as much
2. Can't hear anyone else
3. And the wind in your face really does open your mind to new thoughts.

Which means I am off the internet when I need clarity.
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Seekers must understand that they have to make their own path and there is no right path. Whatever works for you is right.
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  #73  
Old Yesterday, 02:30 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Khalli
Best therapist in the world:



1. doesn't cost as much
2. Can't hear anyone else
3. And the wind in your face really does open your mind to new thoughts.

Which means I am off the internet when I need clarity.
I bet the initial outlay would approximate the cost of a therapist for 10 years though....not to mention the gas it would guzzle.

Still, to each, their own. I don't go to a psychiatrist anymore anyway, for the same reason why I don't listen to others...because my Higher Self tells me more than what another person could ever say in their whole lifetime...I often wonder why it is that I feel like I 'need' other people at all and what use are they, really?

If we are to be totally and brutally honest, the main reason why I post here is because I have 'nothing better to do' but then again, I don't really look for anything 'better to do' either and of course, I could spend 24/7 in meditation and reading the scriptures and worshiping Shiva and talking to my 'Higher Self'...but for some reason, yes, I have become totally complacent within my own spirituality, but it's not like another person saying to me "you are full of shyte" is going to make ANY difference whatsoever, because my 'Higher Self' always chimes in with 'you know what is best for YOU - nobody else does' and so, even the act of communication appears pointless...why I still bother even trying, I know not. Maybe I am looking for a 'connection' which simply does not exist, so I am wasting my time anyway.

It's like I can see and feel God as Energy...as a universal concept, but I don't understand how to see God in the erratic behaviours of other people...yes, I can see God in others as a 'divine spark' or 'essence', as it is within myself...but until I can see Shiva in a person's adharmic samskaras as well, and not simply see that as 'Shakti' or 'Maya' irrespective of the absolute consciousness, I will continue to be reborn until I do...that is MY karma and I also realise this, yet no amount of people saying it to me is gonna make any difference.

So the ONLY thing I can do is continue to love and worship Shiva until, by His grace, he will reveal himself from within the veil of Maya itself...within 'Indra's Net' or 'duality' and not as that which exists totally beyond it...independent FROM it as the absolute Brahman.

As an aside...I thought the server issues would have resolved by now...maybe if I apply the 'Law of Attraction' and make the affirmation "The Server WILL work every time I want it to", it will stop freezing on me.
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  #74  
Old Yesterday, 08:07 AM
hallow hallow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molearner
hallow,

Not sure what you meant. But to answer the question......anything of true value has a cost. Mark 8:36...."What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?"
Yes it was a bad joke, and i do agree anything good or bad comes at a price.
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  #75  
Old Yesterday, 12:35 PM
A human Being A human Being is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
Yes, I do harbour quite a bit of resentment towards my mother anyway.
Completely understandable, I imagine most people would do if they were being constantly criticised and second-guessed. As you said, though, your mum's like that with everyone so rationally you know it isn't personal - but regardless, the resentment's still there.

I've become aware recently of just how much resentment I have in me, and what I'm finding in my own experience is that there are layers to it, though those layers only become apparent if I fully feel into the resentment, without getting lost in thought patterns about how this person did this to me and they shouldn't have, it's not fair, I'm so hard-done-by, etc. All those thought patterns might seem perfectly justified (actually they pretty much always do feel justified), but they're only making me miserable because I'm arguing with what can't be changed. So I have a choice - either I let go of those feelings, or I suffer.

And the power really is in my hands, not in anyone else's. We're all complicit in our own suffering.
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  #76  
Old Yesterday, 01:14 PM
Gem Gem is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A human Being
Completely understandable, I imagine most people would do if they were being constantly criticised and second-guessed. As you said, though, your mum's like that with everyone so rationally you know it isn't personal - but regardless, the resentment's still there.

I've become aware recently of just how much resentment I have in me, and what I'm finding in my own experience is that there are layers to it, though those layers only become apparent if I fully feel into the resentment, without getting lost in thought patterns about how this person did this to me and they shouldn't have, it's not fair, I'm so hard-done-by, etc. All those thought patterns might seem perfectly justified (actually they pretty much always do feel justified), but they're only making me miserable because I'm arguing with what can't be changed. So I have a choice - either I let go of those feelings, or I suffer.

Quite. To feel without the story is getting to the deeper aspect of it. In my case, I don't have resentments, grudges or anything like that, but I have other life issues, and it's this seeming irony where my mind becomes this still, but that ease of myself lets the monsters come out of their holes and rage storms in my mind, but I'm not the mind, and it's really a matter of how peaceful I remain in the midst of difficult discomfort, and what extremity of feeling I can endure without becoming overwhelmed. That is the difficulty of mindfulness, so I consider all these things to be opportunities to practice, and use it to stablise that equanimity in the knowing that this has risen so it can pass, so I don't fight with anything or try to make it go away - I basically cut the bulldust story like you say, and let it be as it is, which usually makes it get worse, but then it goes away, and it's hard for me to remember the things that already cleared through, but I can recall my deep resentments of the past, I can remember the things that occurred that I used to resent people for, but that resentful feeling has completely gone from me.

Quote:
And the power really is in my hands, not in anyone else's. We're all complicit in our own suffering.

Tru dat.
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  #77  
Old Yesterday, 07:51 PM
davidsun davidsun is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
Quite. To feel without the story is getting to the deeper aspect of it. In my case, I don't have resentments, grudges or anything like that, but I have other life issues, and it's this seeming irony where my mind becomes this still, but that ease of myself lets the monsters come out of their holes and rage storms in my mind, but I'm not the mind, and it's really a matter of how peaceful I remain in the midst of difficult discomfort, and what extremity of feeling I can endure without becoming overwhelmed. That is the difficulty of mindfulness, so I consider all these things to be opportunities to practice, and use it to stablise that equanimity in the knowing that this has risen so it can pass, so I don't fight with anything or try to make it go away - I basically cut the bulldust story like you say, and let it be as it is, which usually makes it get worse, but then it goes away, and it's hard for me to remember the things that already cleared through, but I can recall my deep resentments of the past, I can remember the things that occurred that I used to resent people for, but that resentful feeling has completely gone from me.
Everything is 'grist for the mill', aye what?

"Grist for the mill" means "anything that can be turned to profit or advantage."

Grist for the Mill: Awakening to Oneness, is also the title of a book by Ram Dass:

Amazon blurb: From Ram Dass, one of Americaís most beloved spiritual figures and bestselling author of Be Here Now and Be Love Now, comes this timeless classic about the experience of being and the risks and rewards of our spiritual path. Originally published in 1976, Grist for the Mill offers a deep spiritual journey of self-discovery, and a universal understanding of what it means to "be" and to grow as human beings. The book is fully revised with a new introduction.

As Ram Dass puts it, "When the faith is strong enough (i.e. the 'faith' that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28) it is sufficient just to be. Itís a journey towards simplicity, towards quietness, towards a kind of joy that is not in time. Itís a journey that has taken us from primary identification with our body and our psyche, on to an identification with God, and ultimately beyond identification."

Excerpt copied from https://www.ramdass.org/grist-mill-awakening/ :

"As you quiet your mind down and trust yourself, you know the answer because everyone is a Goddess in drag. If you donít know, you have to really look at it and find out who you truly are.

We are so busy not being awakened, itís a real addiction, we are abused and closed down Ė but by being mindful of it, it all dissolves before our very eyes.

Whatever fears or anxieties you are dealing with, donít deny them, donít get lost in them, just allow them to be Grist for the Mill of your awakening."

There is a link to an audio excerpt can be access from the above page as well.
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  #78  
Old Today, 02:59 PM
A human Being A human Being is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gem
Quite. To feel without the story is getting to the deeper aspect of it. In my case, I don't have resentments, grudges or anything like that, but I have other life issues, and it's this seeming irony where my mind becomes this still, but that ease of myself lets the monsters come out of their holes and rage storms in my mind, but I'm not the mind, and it's really a matter of how peaceful I remain in the midst of difficult discomfort, and what extremity of feeling I can endure without becoming overwhelmed. That is the difficulty of mindfulness, so I consider all these things to be opportunities to practice, and use it to stablise that equanimity in the knowing that this has risen so it can pass, so I don't fight with anything or try to make it go away - I basically cut the bulldust story like you say, and let it be as it is, which usually makes it get worse, but then it goes away, and it's hard for me to remember the things that already cleared through, but I can recall my deep resentments of the past, I can remember the things that occurred that I used to resent people for, but that resentful feeling has completely gone from me.
Love this, you put it so well and I can really relate :) I particularly liked what you said about letting the monsters come out of their holes and rage storms in your mind - it's like you've got to let them off the leash and tire themselves out, so to speak, or else they just end up going stir-crazy and that's when they can become really destructive.
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