Is it a good idea not to love others too much?

Originally Posted by Rah nam

To me there is only love, and it doesn't matter, toward a person or a blade of grass, it is the same.

That's cool.

JL

[dfnj2019]

Originally Posted by Honza

Where does the "love of others" fit into the scheme of things? From personal experience I have found that one can actually lose themselves if they love others too much. Has anyone else found this?

I loved others, but the deal breaker was that I forgot myself. I got lost. I know lots of other people who are the same. Somehow loving others can lose you and initiate you to forget yourself.

One needs to remain centred.

It is common in archetypal mythology the Warrior is the counter energy to the Lover archetype. People who are possessed by the shadow forms of the Lover archetype have no sense of boundaries. The Warrior is all about boundaries and code of conduct.

If you are interested in a really good map of archetypal psychology google the following:

Google, "amazon king warrior magician lover"

When people are possessed by the Lover archetype they can get lost in the "Maya" or myriad of forms. One shadow form of the lover is the Addicted Lover.

The Warrior is no picnic either. The Shadow Warrior is either sadistic or masochistic. When all you do is experience life through boundaries you have no sense of empathy or connection to all things.

The book I referenced above talks about how each of us has a certain character configuration with these primal archetypes. When you are aware of these archetypal energies then you are capable of facing life with your strongest possible way of being.

Jedi is another name for the King archetype:

"Only a fully trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor."

[Molearner]

Originally Posted by janielee

Agree with blackraven - I don't think we can love "too much" - is there such a thing?

But that would assume or mean we would first have to clarify what love is.

That's the really tricky thing, in my opinion. Most of what goes via love in this world is just conditional emotions and attachments. In my opinion.

JL

janielee,

I approach this from a Christian orientation. "Make me an instrument of thy peace"...…...to me this 'instrument' is in effect a conduit.....a conduit for love. IMO love has but one source and that source is God. We are simply conduits for love(the genuine love that has not been clarified as you state). We cannot be the end point for love....we have to accept it and pass it on. "Give us this day our daily bread"......maybe that 'bread' is love. The Israelites in the desert survived on manna but it could not be stored and saved for a rainy day. It had to be used...…..I see the same thing with love. There is no such thing as too much love. What are we to do? Tell God to stop being God? People become greatly confused about love. Sadly it comes down to, all too often, to stroking each others' egos.

[dfnj2019]

Originally Posted by Molearner

IMO love has but one source and that source is God.

I don't mean any disrespect but I think the word love gets too many meanings associated with it. There are all kinds and types of love. For some people, love means disciplining a child like a stern father.

I think with all these many definitions we lose basic sight of the simple meaning of the word love. I would argue and defend the best definition of the word love is a very simple one. I would say love is small acts of kindness for someone else without any expectations for anything in return.

The small acts of kindness do not come from nowhere. You have to be a good listener and really make an effort to take care of someone else so the opportunities to perform a small act of kindness become possible to act out.

I think when you bring God into the conversation about love I think we lose sight of what is the most basic human activity with each other.

[Wally]

If you love someone set them free.
But if you are in a sexual relationship with someone it is fair to expect fidelity.
Buddhists will talk about attachment. But we are all human. if my partner or dog died today I would be heartbroken.
I think maybe what you are driving at is self-esteem. And valuing your own existence. learn to acknowledge the divine presence in yourself. People need you too. People get attached to you too.

Love is taking a risk and involves emotion although it is not all emotion I admit. Better to have loved and lived than never to have loved at all.

[Honza]

Originally Posted by Wally

Better to have loved and lived than never to have loved at all.

That is true. Looking back at it all it seems that there is a price to pay for love. It is like reality is daring us to love and pay the price or not love and be settled.

Originally Posted by Molearner

janielee,

I approach this from a Christian orientation. "Make me an instrument of thy peace"...…...to me this 'instrument' is in effect a conduit.....a conduit for love. IMO love has but one source and that source is God. We are simply conduits for love(the genuine love that has not been clarified as you state). We cannot be the end point for love....we have to accept it and pass it on. "Give us this day our daily bread"......maybe that 'bread' is love. The Israelites in the desert survived on manna but it could not be stored and saved for a rainy day. It had to be used...…..I see the same thing with love. There is no such thing as too much love. What are we to do? Tell God to stop being God? People become greatly confused about love. Sadly it comes down to, all too often, to stroking each others' egos.

I agree in many respects, Molearner. As always I'm grateful for your deeply reflective insights and living of the way.

JL

[SaraTherase]

Originally Posted by Honza

Where does the "love of others" fit into the scheme of things? From personal experience I have found that one can actually lose themselves if they love others too much. Has anyone else found this?

I loved others, but the deal breaker was that I forgot myself. I got lost. I know lots of other people who are the same. Somehow loving others can lose you and initiate you to forget yourself.

One needs to remain centred.

Sometimes I think one needs to lose themselves in order to find themselves again.

Love is essentially everywhere, it resides beyond the ego, role, shadow self, defects and dark desires. It cannot be destroyed, ruined or tainted. It will teach you and ultimately guide you closer to learning how to access, know and rely upon the love within yourself.

Love is peaceful, joyous and freeing. Love is warmth, calm and lightness. Love is wanting someone to just be whom they choose to be and loving them regardless. Sometimes whom someone chooses to be isn't good or healthy for us and whom it is we are or want to be, do we stop loving them? No - We love them from afar or at a distance wishing them well as they fly away to pursue their path. We take that energy and attention that was once gifted to them and bring it back to ourselves, bestowing that love upon ourselves, we heal ourselves with love. The real beauty of love is in its power to heal.

One will often encounter toxcity, obsession, attachment addiction, possession, dark desires, codependent, apathy, narcissism, unrequited love, trauma injuries and abandonment on the path to learning how to self love and love others. Through lust we learn that relationships are a breeding ground for growth. Ultimately we realise that nothing is ever lost from any connection for what is learnt whether it be akin to a slap on the face or a smack on the hand is like this rare valuable treasure that you have been fortunate to attain.

Through ourselves for ourselves we will all eventually learn what it is we need to learn in regards to love. I personally don't feel that one can ever unconditionally Love too much for its as free as the air we breathe and moves unrestrained and unconstricted like the wind that blows through the trees.

I love love for it is my greatest inspiration, muse and teacher. Don't ever be afraid of love. Remember it's people that die not love

[JosephineB]

Originally Posted by SaraTherase

Sometimes I think one needs to lose themselves in order to find themselves again.

Love is essentially everywhere, it resides beyond the ego, role, shadow self, defects and dark desires. It cannot be destroyed, ruined or tainted. It will teach you and ultimately guide you closer to learning how to access, know and rely upon the love within yourself.

Love is peaceful, joyous and freeing. Love is warmth, calm and lightness. Love is wanting someone to just be whom they choose to be and loving them regardless. Sometimes whom someone chooses to be isn't good or healthy for us and whom it is we are or want to be, do we stop loving them? No - We love them from afar or at a distance wishing them well as they fly away to pursue their path. We take that energy and attention that was once gifted to them and bring it back to ourselves, bestowing that love upon ourselves, we heal ourselves with love. The real beauty of love is in its power to heal.

One will often encounter toxcity, obsession, attachment addiction, possession, dark desires, codependent, apathy, narcissism, unrequited love, trauma injuries and abandonment on the path to learning how to self love and love others. Through lust we learn that relationships are a breeding ground for growth. Ultimately we realise that nothing is ever lost from any connection for what is learnt whether it be akin to a slap on the face or a smack on the hand is like this rare valuable treasure that you have been fortunate to attain.

Through ourselves for ourselves we will all eventually learn what it is we need to learn in regards to love. I personally don't feel that one can ever unconditionally Love too much for its as free as the air we breathe and moves unrestrained and unconstricted like the wind that blows through the trees.

I love love for it is my greatest inspiration, muse and teacher. Don't ever be afraid of love. Remember it's people that die not love

Beautifully said.

[Honza]

Yes well put!