feeling I've been misled by 11:11

[rainbow.sprinkles]

apologies in advance for what's sure to be an emotion-fueled rant.

without going into too much backstory, there's someone who I've had a tumultuous time with over the last few years, from an inexplicable connection right off the bat and feeling he was the one and moving in with him and stepping into the role of stepmom to his kid who I've helped raise since he was just a baby, to making each other utterly miserable and him being borderline abusive and us breaking up and him hitting rock bottom and asking for my help and me helping him to finally take steps towards getting his mental health in order and working towards being a better person for himself and his kid, to us actually developing a really amazing, positive, mutually supportive friendship and becoming extremely close over the past several months. I've been aware of feelings I've been having for him again, really enjoying spending time with him and being excited to see him and hear from him and we've spent a couple of nights together, just cuddling, nothing beyond that. he's been avoiding getting into anything with anyone while he gets his **** together but we just had a conversation about the fact that he's been seeing someone and there are feelings between them but he's been open about thinking he's still in love with me as well. I laid out everything I've been feeling for him lately.

here's the kicker. over the past few weeks my energy levels have been way higher than normal (I have major depressive disorder so it's rare for me to have even 2 high energy days in a row), I've been feeling really good, being really productive, and noticing that I've been seeing 11:11 a LOT. like at least once or twice a day every day. it seemed like I was getting signs that the way I've been feeling and the way our relationship has been progressing was us being on the path that we were always meant to get back to, that I was right to be feeling this way, that us being close was right and natural and inevitable. but our conversation just now ended with me basically saying that he knows how I feel, that all I can say is to follow his heart and things will work out the way they're supposed to and as long as he's happy and making good choices for himself and his son then those choices can't possibly be wrong. he basically thanked me and it strongly felt like he was making the choice to explore things with her and close the door on the possibility of things with us, a goodbye of sorts. now I feel like I've been duped. what was me seeing 11:11 constantly about, if not a sign that our relationship was progressing naturally and things were happening as they were meant to? if things are suddenly going to stall and switch gears and I'm going to have to take a step back why would I be seeing 11:11? it doesn't make any sense to me. I'm bewildered and, if I'm honest, a bit angry.

any outside perspective would probably be valuable. I'm probably not seeing the big picture very well right now. I feel like I'm stepping back onto the path of grieving this relationship all over again now. our friendship dynamic has been beautiful and great but I'm not sure I know how to deal with it knowing it can't continue to evolve and progress naturally. this feels like a blockage and it hurts.

[OEN34]

Sorry to read of your pain.

It's absolutely normal to still have feelings for someone you were closely linked to even if you're friends. There's a connection present and it won't disappear overnight, especially if you've been sharing each other's company.

What is refreshing to hear is his honesty towards you in that he's told you he's seeing someone else. It may be a kick in the teeth to you, but that is because you are connected on an emotional level. If you were to remove emotion from it and see it for what it is, coming from a place of love and kindness, you would be neutral about it. You would have acceptance.

With the 11:11, have you considered that you might be actually on the right path and that is why you are seeing the signs? Perhaps this is the route you need to take at this moment?

Ultimately, IMO you've done the right thing. You've expressed how you feel and suggested he followed his heart, which is spot on. It's out of your control and in his mind he might need this other person to explore and grow him some more, considering he's on his recovery path. This other person might also be here to teach you something.

There's definitely a blockage there, so investigate it, go within and see what's what. Some form of rejection suffering? Loss, abandonment? The list goes on.

An important thing here is that you aren't obliged to stay in contact with him whilst he's on his path. This doesn't mean you push him away and be nasty towards him (and yourself), but being honest is key, telling him you'd prefer him to focus on his stuff, and you to focus on your stuff. You are here, you're not shutting him away, but contact won't help right now - if you feel that way that is.

Then the inner work begins and you learn to accept what is happening. You see his path from a place of acceptance and love and you'll be very comfortable then, but Rome wasn't built in a day, it takes time.

Invest your energy in you right now, and put yourself first.

Be gentle on yourself, you're being tested but it will inevitably lead you down a path more suited to the 'newer' you in the not too distant future.

[Mojo Pan]

Perhaps you should stop keep focusing on this ONE person. 11:11 is a definitive sign, plus you feeling good, I really believe a major shift is about to happen in your life. Your inner/higher self feels the cosmic threads oscillating long before the actual event. But you still focus on the past. Let it go, let it rest and look forward to your future. Now is the time you absolutely need to visualize how do you want your life to be, not cutting corners. This is your time of Creation so invest it well.
You can never ever be "duped" by the Universe. Only shown a better path ;)

11-11 seems to have earned itself the status of signifying the imminence of a relationship. Could it be that if you ditch this guy you're on the verge of meeting someone more attuned to you?

As you portray it, your current relationship is draining you. It's spiritually and physically unhealthy. Continuing it will probably do you more harm than good. It will not boost your experience of relationships in the right direction so when you meet someone new it'll affect how you react and the trust you can put in it.

Following your heart can lead to mistakes that affect more than just you so you must let your head come into it to. Assess what the future really holds with this bloke. Try to stand back and look at you pair in action. Is it really what you want for the long term?

1111 is only a sign signifying a kind of encounter because people tell you it is. We all encounter it here and there but it wouldn't be relevant for someone oblivious to this creed. Like my clock says 11:11 twice a day but the occurrence at night tells me it's time to start unwinding and getting ready for bed. To others it's binary for 15.

Yep, try to work to giving this bloke up. Don't succumb to feelings of pity because, ok, he's with someone else now but being his "fallback" friend if his current fling breaks up wouldn't be good for you.

[Dan_SF]

11:11

With this message your Higher Self wants you to remind you, that you have entered a phase, where your thoughts can influence the probable outcome.

This is the message, that you shall monitor your current thoughts, and change them according to your wishes.


What happens is, that you have silenced your mind enough to let it reconnect with your higher self instead of the Ego.

Now it is up to you to direct the thinking process into more happiness and joy.

Of course, if you invest in , (let say worry), then you will find yourself Worrying about.

You see, over there, there is no such thing as good or bad, there is only experience.

If you like to experience happiness (which is God) then you will. If you will the Opposite, well that's ok too, for them, but your higher self knows that you want to be Happy above all else.

As the same is with Unconditional Love, so it has to be unconditional Happiness.

Unconditional means without attachment or expectations.
Usually this world teaches you that you need some thing, some life conditions or people who say something, so that you feel Good/Better ...
But that is conditional happiness.

Unconditional happiness is being only happy, having no other reasons to be happy at all.

If you can bathe in this feeling of unconditional happiness every morning, immediately as you awake (for at least 1minute concentrated happiness) + before going to sleep, your days will reflect this. Each day.

May God bless you.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by OEN34

Sorry to read of your pain.

It's absolutely normal to still have feelings for someone you were closely linked to even if you're friends. There's a connection present and it won't disappear overnight, especially if you've been sharing each other's company.

What is refreshing to hear is his honesty towards you in that he's told you he's seeing someone else. It may be a kick in the teeth to you, but that is because you are connected on an emotional level. If you were to remove emotion from it and see it for what it is, coming from a place of love and kindness, you would be neutral about it. You would have acceptance.

With the 11:11, have you considered that you might be actually on the right path and that is why you are seeing the signs? Perhaps this is the route you need to take at this moment?

Ultimately, IMO you've done the right thing. You've expressed how you feel and suggested he followed his heart, which is spot on. It's out of your control and in his mind he might need this other person to explore and grow him some more, considering he's on his recovery path. This other person might also be here to teach you something.

There's definitely a blockage there, so investigate it, go within and see what's what. Some form of rejection suffering? Loss, abandonment? The list goes on.

An important thing here is that you aren't obliged to stay in contact with him whilst he's on his path. This doesn't mean you push him away and be nasty towards him (and yourself), but being honest is key, telling him you'd prefer him to focus on his stuff, and you to focus on your stuff. You are here, you're not shutting him away, but contact won't help right now - if you feel that way that is.

Then the inner work begins and you learn to accept what is happening. You see his path from a place of acceptance and love and you'll be very comfortable then, but Rome wasn't built in a day, it takes time.

Invest your energy in you right now, and put yourself first.

Be gentle on yourself, you're being tested but it will inevitably lead you down a path more suited to the 'newer' you in the not too distant future.

that's the funny thing, by the time we'd broken up the connection was long gone. it re-kindled as a result of him changing and us finding a way to actually communicate effectively and be kind to one another again after nearly 2 years of just being terrible to each other. it feels like we're both different people now so in a way it's brand new, but also with that familiarity and comfort of having been through so much together.

I wish I could remove my emotions from the situation, there would be zero problem. I don't see how I can though.

yes I've tried to tell myself that it means this is the thing that was meant to happen and you're probably right but I'm frustrated because why did the universe allow me to get so emotionally attached all over again just to have it ripped away again and put me through losing that future of being a real family with him and his son all over again? it feels cruel.

it just felt like there was nothing else I could do. I've worked hard lately to act in ways that are in line with the version of myself I'd most like to be instead of just giving in to my knee-jerk reactions of trying to get my own needs met. he said originally that if I said I didn't want him dating her that he would stop it then and there but who would I be to come out and say that? I don't want to be that person. the fact that I told him how it would make me feel and he made the decision he did in spite of saying he would stop seeing her to salvage our friendship seems to speak volumes.

I have major psychological issues around abandonment and rejection and all that. him and I both do, it's one of the biggest things we have in common. I've dealt with it all for the most part, I've been on my own path of recovery from mental illness for years and years already. I mean the fact that I dealt with the situation fairly gracefully speaks volumes to how much I've grown from what I once would have said and done in this situation lol.

I do plan to pull back a little bit, and I'm sure he expects it.

thank you for the kind and thoughtful response, it's appreciated.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by Mojo Pan

Perhaps you should stop keep focusing on this ONE person. 11:11 is a definitive sign, plus you feeling good, I really believe a major shift is about to happen in your life. Your inner/higher self feels the cosmic threads oscillating long before the actual event. But you still focus on the past. Let it go, let it rest and look forward to your future. Now is the time you absolutely need to visualize how do you want your life to be, not cutting corners. This is your time of Creation so invest it well.
You can never ever be "duped" by the Universe. Only shown a better path ;)

it didn't feel like focusing on the past. with how much him and I have both changed and how much our relationship has transformed and our dynamic has shifted, it felt like a whole new thing was blooming, just in the same flower bed so to speak. but I suppose you're right.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

11-11 seems to have earned itself the status of signifying the imminence of a relationship. Could it be that if you ditch this guy you're on the verge of meeting someone more attuned to you?

As you portray it, your current relationship is draining you. It's spiritually and physically unhealthy. Continuing it will probably do you more harm than good. It will not boost your experience of relationships in the right direction so when you meet someone new it'll affect how you react and the trust you can put in it.

Following your heart can lead to mistakes that affect more than just you so you must let your head come into it to. Assess what the future really holds with this bloke. Try to stand back and look at you pair in action. Is it really what you want for the long term?

1111 is only a sign signifying a kind of encounter because people tell you it is. We all encounter it here and there but it wouldn't be relevant for someone oblivious to this creed. Like my clock says 11:11 twice a day but the occurrence at night tells me it's time to start unwinding and getting ready for bed. To others it's binary for 15.

Yep, try to work to giving this bloke up. Don't succumb to feelings of pity because, ok, he's with someone else now but being his "fallback" friend if his current fling breaks up wouldn't be good for you.

I don't necessarily think 11:11 always has to do with relationships, it's just that this was the big thing happening in my life, the thing that's been shifting and growing as I've noticed 11:11 suddenly popping up everywhere. but yes, I've considered that.

I've been asking myself if this is what I want for the past 3 years, haha. there's almost always been a lot of uncertainty around our connection. it was really feeling like it was building me up and bringing something very positive to my life lately rather than draining me like it once did. hence why this is just crushing now.

[rainbow.sprinkles]

Originally Posted by Dan_SF

11:11

With this message your Higher Self wants you to remind you, that you have entered a phase, where your thoughts can influence the probable outcome.

This is the message, that you shall monitor your current thoughts, and change them according to your wishes.


What happens is, that you have silenced your mind enough to let it reconnect with your higher self instead of the Ego.

Now it is up to you to direct the thinking process into more happiness and joy.

Of course, if you invest in , (let say worry), then you will find yourself Worrying about.

You see, over there, there is no such thing as good or bad, there is only experience.

If you like to experience happiness (which is God) then you will. If you will the Opposite, well that's ok too, for them, but your higher self knows that you want to be Happy above all else.

As the same is with Unconditional Love, so it has to be unconditional Happiness.

Unconditional means without attachment or expectations.
Usually this world teaches you that you need some thing, some life conditions or people who say something, so that you feel Good/Better ...
But that is conditional happiness.

Unconditional happiness is being only happy, having no other reasons to be happy at all.

If you can bathe in this feeling of unconditional happiness every morning, immediately as you awake (for at least 1minute concentrated happiness) + before going to sleep, your days will reflect this. Each day.

May God bless you.

I honestly have no idea how to do that.

[Ghost_Rider_1970]

From my viewpoint, I believe that we project our own idealisms on numerology and astrology so give meaning to certain values as signs and synchronicities.

While we can appreciate them, we really do attain our own power when we look beyond them :)