In need of aspirational aid. Help?

[greenmxnz]

I’ve been grabbing at the wind and trying to find a space where I can breathe and cry without being blindfolded, and without questioning why is it that the air is so thin. Also with inquiry of the stone cold hearts of my brothers and sisters that walk the same pavement as I do, trying to figure out whether or not they’ve forgotten, never noticed, or prefer not to think about those realities. Praying that if I could ever become as ignorant, just maybe this load would be taken off of my back, and maybe these bricks, overtime, would become a bit lighter to lift. Maybe this blindfold would deteriorate into my eyesight and make life less difficult, and truth would be as thin as the air around me, or in disguise, and I’d winse at the government’s choices. Just maybe if I were to agree with Trump, or maybe if I didn’t see anything wrong with stealing, or I constantly wanted more, I, too, could push for the American dream. Maybe I, too, could be comfortable with being happy while others are starving. It would put me at ease to be unable to acknowledge that I could fall and become hungry or immensely depressed. I think that what I would want the most is to neglect the feeling of empathy as I listen to my loved ones hurl insults at me, and understand exactly where it all comes from. Even with the heart that I’ve felt bleed, die, and beat, I’ve still been able to comprehend that there’s a misunderstood place where hate comes from. Even then, that doesn’t relieve the burn, and that doesn’t aid my same wounds to heal, so is it alright to say that I hate me as much as I’ll be hated?

[WildHairedWoman]

Maybe what you need is to have some meaningful conversations with real humans.

What you describe is a way of thinking that you have chosen. You could spend 15 minutes a day every day looking for and Finding something beautiful in your surroundings, something you like about a neighbor or co-worker, but first, TURN OFF THE TELEVISION NEWS and talk to actual people. The mention of Trump gives you away. You have isolated yourself with your dissatisfied thoughts and have created a lot of pain for yourself.

I could have written something very similar that you did in my twenties, I was in the pits mentally and emotionally and prayed every night for god to change the people around me. Luckily I found a way to snap out of it with some help. I offer you the help I got. (it was not counseling, that did not help)

"You have no control over others, the only control you have is how and what you think of them." You get to choose that, it is not them, it is you that must change.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by greenmxnz

I’ve been grabbing at the wind and trying to find a space where I can breathe and cry without being blindfolded, and without questioning why is it that the air is so thin. Also with inquiry of the stone cold hearts of my brothers and sisters that walk the same pavement as I do, trying to figure out whether or not they’ve forgotten, never noticed, or prefer not to think about those realities. Praying that if I could ever become as ignorant, just maybe this load would be taken off of my back, and maybe these bricks, overtime, would become a bit lighter to lift. Maybe this blindfold would deteriorate into my eyesight and make life less difficult, and truth would be as thin as the air around me, or in disguise, and I’d winse at the government’s choices. Just maybe if I were to agree with Trump, or maybe if I didn’t see anything wrong with stealing, or I constantly wanted more, I, too, could push for the American dream. Maybe I, too, could be comfortable with being happy while others are starving. It would put me at ease to be unable to acknowledge that I could fall and become hungry or immensely depressed. I think that what I would want the most is to neglect the feeling of empathy as I listen to my loved ones hurl insults at me, and understand exactly where it all comes from. Even with the heart that I’ve felt bleed, die, and beat, I’ve still been able to comprehend that there’s a misunderstood place where hate comes from. Even then, that doesn’t relieve the burn, and that doesn’t aid my same wounds to heal, so is it alright to say that I hate me as much as I’ll be hated?

This is a story you are telling yourself and you believe the story and so you suffer.

How do you feel when you hold on to your story?

How would you feel if you let go of your story?

What other people think or do is beyond your control. So let them be what they are.

All you can do is rest in yourself and embrace your reality. Everything else is outside your control.

Peace.

[Miss Hepburn]

Well, you have one thing going for you...you are a good writer.
Great images.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by greenmxnz

I’ve been grabbing at the wind and trying to find a space where I can breathe and cry without being blindfolded, and without questioning why is it that the air is so thin. Also with inquiry of the stone cold hearts of my brothers and sisters that walk the same pavement as I do, trying to figure out whether or not they’ve forgotten, never noticed, or prefer not to think about those realities. Praying that if I could ever become as ignorant, just maybe this load would be taken off of my back, and maybe these bricks, overtime, would become a bit lighter to lift. Maybe this blindfold would deteriorate into my eyesight and make life less difficult, and truth would be as thin as the air around me, or in disguise, and I’d winse at the government’s choices. Just maybe if I were to agree with Trump, or maybe if I didn’t see anything wrong with stealing, or I constantly wanted more, I, too, could push for the American dream. Maybe I, too, could be comfortable with being happy while others are starving. It would put me at ease to be unable to acknowledge that I could fall and become hungry or immensely depressed. I think that what I would want the most is to neglect the feeling of empathy as I listen to my loved ones hurl insults at me, and understand exactly where it all comes from. Even with the heart that I’ve felt bleed, die, and beat, I’ve still been able to comprehend that there’s a misunderstood place where hate comes from. Even then, that doesn’t relieve the burn, and that doesn’t aid my same wounds to heal, so is it alright to say that I hate me as much as I’ll be hated?

you're feeling the heartbeat of all the lost souls. Just accepting it, instead of trying to immediately throw it aside in favor of 'better' feelings that you somehow 'deserve', is itself a way to help them heal.

feels horrible though I know.

[greenmxnz]

thankyou so much for your insight. I will take that with me.

[greenmxnz]

I have to realize that. I can’t let the human condition depress me.

[greenmxnz]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Well, you have one thing going for you...you are a good writer.
Great images.

thankyou so much for the compliment

[guthrio]

Originally Posted by greenmxnz

I’ve been grabbing at the wind and trying to find a space where I can breathe and cry without being blindfolded, and without questioning why is it that the air is so thin. Also with inquiry of the stone cold hearts of my brothers and sisters that walk the same pavement as I do, trying to figure out whether or not they’ve forgotten, never noticed, or prefer not to think about those realities. Praying that if I could ever become as ignorant, just maybe this load would be taken off of my back, and maybe these bricks, overtime, would become a bit lighter to lift. Maybe this blindfold would deteriorate into my eyesight and make life less difficult, and truth would be as thin as the air around me, or in disguise, and I’d winse at the government’s choices. Just maybe if I were to agree with Trump, or maybe if I didn’t see anything wrong with stealing, or I constantly wanted more, I, too, could push for the American dream. Maybe I, too, could be comfortable with being happy while others are starving. It would put me at ease to be unable to acknowledge that I could fall and become hungry or immensely depressed. I think that what I would want the most is to neglect the feeling of empathy as I listen to my loved ones hurl insults at me, and understand exactly where it all comes from. Even with the heart that I’ve felt bleed, die, and beat, I’ve still been able to comprehend that there’s a misunderstood place where hate comes from. Even then, that doesn’t relieve the burn, and that doesn’t aid my same wounds to heal, so is it alright to say that I hate me as much as I’ll be hated?

Greenmxnx,

Welcome to the Spiritual Forums.

Reading your post above, a thought leaped paramount to my mind to help you. It's what I was just reading from a moment ago, entitled "How To Live Life And Love It" - Genevieve Behrend

I have attached it as the 1st reference below for you to answer ALL the questions you have raised so poignantly in your post.

Here's a taste from the very first page: The purpose of this series of personal-pointer Lessons, which are herein compiled into one volume, is to indicate in a clear, concise way "the natural principles governing the relation between the creative action of all thought-power and material things," i.e., circumstances and conditions.

Yes! Gets right to the point, doesn't it? But you won't believe your eyes by the time you get to this point in the book, where this question is raised: "....why are there so many misfits in life? Why are there so very few who are doing, really doing, just what they would like to do? Why are there so very, very few living the life they truly wish to live? Why? Why? Why?"on page 20/92

And the answer begins: There is only one reason why every mortal does not manifest and reproduce the Life, Love and Beauty which we see brought out in such radiance and perfection in all of Nature, manifested in Nature to the extreme point where mechanical and automatic actions can bring them..

Hint: "Praying for ignorance or hating yourself"...is not required, at all!

Greenmxnx, find out what is required in the references below. It's closer than you think!

Enjoy the references:

Reference: https://api.ning.com/files/MyF4ZQ2dS...eAndLoveIt.pdf How to Live Life and Love It by Genevieve Behrend

Reference: https://www.law-of-attraction-haven....cious-mind.pdf The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy (take a look at all the metaphysical authors whose books are available in PDF format for FREE immediately after the Title page!)

Reference: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...9&postcount=10