Originally Posted by Leo817
I understand the question of does it matter. To me it does. Iím trying to process what happened. Thereís a big part of me that feels like after denying it for so long and then admitting it and saying it didnít happen how I think it did but not feeling like there should be an explanation provided is hurtful. She was my wife and he was my best friend. As for knowing itís karmic versus telling myself it is Iím not sure leaving a marriage of 8 years to begin an emotional relationship with his best friend is picture of health
My new partner knows Iím struggling with the loss of my family. Iíve come to realize that I will always love my ex wife and have enough love in my heart to love another. My ex friend was meeting my ex wife behind my back. He ended our friendship the day I caught her at his house and he told people (including my ex wife) that I slept with his gf and thatís why we werenít friends anymore. Thatís not true and it didnít happen. She filed for divorce in March and he gave her that book in June. Not sure what perspective you can share that would justify meeting your best friends wife behind his back to tell her you believe heís a narcissistic sociopath and then later become her boyfriend and not connect those two events.
Well. In the event that you actually were
a narcissistic sociopath it would be very appropriate of him to say so... And there is nothig wrong with her being at his house, is there? If you were filing for divorce she can hangout with anyone? And they both know you well - like possibly no others - so they could very well have a very important friendship built up over the years and much needed in a time of crisis, like a break up.
Now, I'm not saying you'd a narcissist. But if there wasn't quite a bit of dysfunction in your relationship, such a message would just have been met with a laugh. So instead of being insulted, take a look at what aspects of your behavior he might have 'pinner' that on? How could he get away with such a suggestion?
And with that much dysfunction, I'm pretty certain you need to let her go.
There is no way you can heal all that past hurt without first massively healing your present, which includes accepting the now
for all the preciousness it hold, accepting your life as it is - as if it might never change that is is what you get. Drop speculation of the future, ckear your system, do a full reboot.
If she us your twin, it is very likely this is as far as you get in this incarnation. Possibly you can also learn to be friends and 'co-parents' without 'hooks' and stagnation in fantasy. Then you're at a good startin point for your next lives.
But yearning and trying for sth more, will - in my opinion - only keep you both stuck.
If she is your twin you can know this for sure; she is actually always with you behind the veil, and it will
be the two of you in the end - at the end of another bunch of lifetimes... (including another bunch of broken hearts first).
Jealousy, speculation, what songs she likes, who she's thinking of... No. Don't use her to fill your sense of worth. Find songs to sing to yourself, you shining marvel of a soul on this magic adventure of life!
A whole bunch of completely unsolicited advice. Take it or leave it, and good luck.