No friends, No job, No education.

[angelic star]

Sometimes being young can be hard, because there is so much to do and so much life ahead of you, you don't know where you are getting at. Younger people have it a lot harder then older people at times. There is a need for patience. The good thing it gets better with time. Everything falls in place as long as you seek and you feel fine with yourself and life in general over time. The best way to feel at peace is to make the most of what you already have now.

You are 18 , that's a very young age. And reading your post it feels like you have a good idea of what you want for yourself for the time being, the problem is perhaps you don't know how to make the most of your life yet. The best way to get clarity is to start living and doing what you feel called towards, with whatever little you have for yourself right now. 18 years of age is not an age where you can demand all freedom at once. Even adults who have all the pleasures of friends, job and education sometimes don't feel free. Freedom is a feeling. Education and finding a job are ways of survival. They are one of the things with which you can find freedom but that's not where it ends. You can work hard, make money and save, but that's not the same thing as expecting life to be all good all at once. If that is finding freedom to you, then start with something small. Work at a diner , or babysit , etc part time for money. That first step working in the real world can be a lot harder than dealing with your grandparents at home, but it will be worth it in the end. When you learn to take more responsibility for yourself and for your life, maybe you can contribute something in return to your grandparents , or maybe in the long run start your own family if you want one. That's a part of growing up. It starts with self, and with the first steps. The bigger explorations come later in life with experience.
If you like to stay alone, then there you have you answer already. Maybe few years down the line, you won't feel the need to mix your need for aloneness with loneliness. You perhaps wont mind being more by yourself. Have you talked to some very old people, or sometimes even little children around age 11. They like to stay alone too, and don't demand much company. A lot of people like to stay alone, and maybe that's a good thing. If you feel like you need to explore more of life, and finding friends is one of the ways you can do that, then do so. There are lots of opportunities to find what you are looking for when you really want to.
All the best to you.

[calisushi810]

Originally Posted by Rosie17

I'm not sure how to feel about my life situation. I have just turned 18 and have no friends, no job, no further education I am going for, and now living with my grandparents who live like it's still 1945 in England, they are also highly unconscious and push their beliefs on me. This time last year I was very 'popular' and doing well for myself in a systematic sense, but I was miserable. I met a man and he enlightened me on what my true nature was and showed me how it had been stripped from me all these years. I lived with him for 5 months. It was beautiful and chaotic for my once bigger egoic self. I left him because things like my old comforts were pulling me back home. He advised me to go in the end because I thought I was miserable but it was really my ego dying. I just feel peaceful on my own, and in company of others if they are not disturbing me. But I can't help feel a niggle of loneliness and longing to meet people here that will be a good balance for me. The man I met was far a head in the depth of his awareness than I was. Where as the people I am with now (my grandparents) are so asleep it makes me somewhat frustrated but I keep it all in because if I express too much I would have no where to live. So I literally keep quiet on what I truly feel inside. I don't want my old life back, where I was surrounded by 'friends' but felt lonely. Nor right now do I feel comfortable moving back in with this man. Anyway he has told me he has to move on and he has I believe, but I understand why, I couldn't keep him waiting who knows how long it takes to be ready. I just really feel there must be people.

Sorry for the long post, I just felt I needed to get this off my chest as I haven't expressed this to anyone. Thank you for reading.

First, remember the belief you need a job, friends or an education are arbitrary social conventions designed to make you feel you are not good enough. Which clearly isn't true. Your writing is excellent and everyone is born with different gifts from the spiritual realm. Everyone. Take time to discover your own talents . you're only 18 years old. Don't take your grandparents for granted. They know and understand things from experience and love you. Moments where you feel the most are moments where you learn about life. Turn off the tv and put down the phone and anything that creates automatic thoughts. Be careful how to feel about men. You should see your self on equal ground and understand Some times people try to make it feel like they are great and you couldn't live without them.

I hear your voice and want you to know you have a beautiful life ahead of you if you seek light and love. Don't be tied down with judgments or feelings about your self that are based on principles of conformity

[calisushi810]

Originally Posted by Rosie17

I'm not sure how to feel about my life situation. I have just turned 18 and have no friends, no job, no further education I am going for, and now living with my grandparents who live like it's still 1945 in England, they are also highly unconscious and push their beliefs on me. This time last year I was very 'popular' and doing well for myself in a systematic sense, but I was miserable. I met a man and he enlightened me on what my true nature was and showed me how it had been stripped from me all these years. I lived with him for 5 months. It was beautiful and chaotic for my once bigger egoic self. I left him because things like my old comforts were pulling me back home. He advised me to go in the end because I thought I was miserable but it was really my ego dying. I just feel peaceful on my own, and in company of others if they are not disturbing me. But I can't help feel a niggle of loneliness and longing to meet people here that will be a good balance for me. The man I met was far a head in the depth of his awareness than I was. Where as the people I am with now (my grandparents) are so asleep it makes me somewhat frustrated but I keep it all in because if I express too much I would have no where to live. So I literally keep quiet on what I truly feel inside. I don't want my old life back, where I was surrounded by 'friends' but felt lonely. Nor right now do I feel comfortable moving back in with this man. Anyway he has told me he has to move on and he has I believe, but I understand why, I couldn't keep him waiting who knows how long it takes to be ready. I just really feel there must be people.

Sorry for the long post, I just felt I needed to get this off my chest as I haven't expressed this to anyone. Thank you for reading.

First, remember the belief you need a job, friends or an education are arbitrary social conventions designed to make you feel you are not good enough. Which clearly isn't true. Your writing is excellent and everyone is born with different gifts from the spiritual realm. Everyone. Take time to discover your own talents . you're only 18 years old. Don't take your grandparents for granted. They know and understand things from experience and love you. Moments where you feel the most are moments where you learn about life. Turn off the tv and put down the phone and anything that creates automatic thoughts. Be careful how to feel about men. You should see your self on equal ground and understand Some times people try to make it feel like they are great and you couldn't live without them.

I hear your voice and want you to know you have a beautiful life ahead of you if you seek light and love. Don't be tied down with judgments or feelings about your self that are based on principles of conformity

[Rosie17]

Originally Posted by H:O:R:A:C:E

sure, with whatever monies you might collect, you might feel a sense freedom
in that you could afford to purchase things on a whim. yet, having a job is a
commitment of your time and effort... which seems to limit your freedom.
i figure: do something you enjoy doing... if it provides a service that someone
appreciates, you'll find that they'll pay you for your work... presto: you've got a job.


just adopt the attitude of being friendly. when someone reflects that back to you, you've made a friend.
if you're feeling a need for a friend, go to wherever people are experiencing need...
provide them with some of what they need and you'll have become their friend.

also:
discover the things that interest you, and educate yourself about them!

Hello Horace,

Sorry for the late reply, I hope you are well. I recently got a job in a café.I have only worked there 2 days so far. I enjoy making coffees and teas and speaking pleasantly wth people. Still have no friends, but I have been okay with just having the time with myself. I sometimes wonder if things in life happen by coincidence or are they signs, what do you think?
Even with my own money I see no freedom in this.

[Rosie17]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Good morning, Rosie! At least the sun's out today.


Yup, jobs can be a problem when you're looking for something specific. I started in an ad agency but quickly got fed up with the place, the office politics etc., but I'd made good with a few clients and could rely on ex-classmates in multi-media and so I went freelance - a bit perilous at first and while I could depend on my parents should I run into trouble I was determined not to. They're wonderful people. So during times of lull I've had to do things I'd sooner not to get by, like the most banal being supermarket shelf filling. It's very up-and-down. College for me? I suppose I'm somewhat a loner and felt anonymous most of the time but did meet a couple of Caribbean people who became significant on the spiritual side. I rarely joined in student activities - they were mostly banal. So yes, you have to get fulfilment at some level.


Yes! What a lovely area - rural Kent. My parents live in rural Surrey and I have a place in Brighton which is fairly lively. Pretty cosmopolitan. I can make the best of both worlds then, times I love to walk and just be in nature, its scents, its sounds, the whole feel of it. As my work is a fair bit portable I can spend days at my parents. Made a few videos around there.


Isn't it just the way when things suddenly explode into one's life?! If I may say so you seem to be going through a long period of consolidation. Seems as if it was meant that way and it'll take time for things to settle. The only similarity I can claim is being thrown right into confusion when fostered. My birth parents aren't nice (I haven't been in touch with them at all really since I was pulled out) so there was I, fearful of my future, suddenly landing in the laps of calm, caring, wonderful people to whom honestly, I really owe everything. It was like suddenly jetted into the light. Just the freedom was overwhelming. I'd have nightmares that if the timing had been just slightly different someone else may have got that placement and I'd be landed with rotten foster parents. So I had a lot to learn, pdq - like, how to be. Such was my early life I suppose I'd learned to stand on my own feet early. Perhaps a good thing.

Anyway, it's nice talking with you, Rosie. Here's wishing you a pleasant Bank Holiday and on. Looks like the weather is at last shaping up. Mind, it won't be so great in Brighton when the hordes start to descend on us!

Talk later,
L

Hello Lorelyen,

So sorry for the late reply, I appreciate you getting back to me so quickly. I have started a job in a café. It's still early days to say whether it's for me or not but so far it's pretty laid back but busy I suppose so hectic at times especially since the lovely sun has been out. Yes I wouldn't even mind stacking supermarket shelves but even them jobs are very hard to get as they are all taken.

Oh, wow. I really want to visit Brighton I've heard it's really lovely. Yes, I've heard it's pretty lively too. You are right it's good to appreciate the best of both worlds.

Life is very strange haha, and the timing of things are too. Bob Marley sings 'life is one big road with lots of signs' and I feel this is true. Life is full of blessings if one opens their eyes to see upon them. You are very right I am going through a long period of consolidation, If I become fully present I know I can feel settled anywhere but overall I'd like that feeling too.
Wow, that's such a fearful thing I am so glad you had been fostered by loving people and pray all children in them situations fall into the arms of gracious humans. Yes, learning how to just be in the world today is a challenge. But I feel you share much light with me so I am very glad to speak with you. I hope you are well and enjoyed your bank holiday too. Take care.

[Rosie17]

Originally Posted by angelic star

Sometimes being young can be hard, because there is so much to do and so much life ahead of you, you don't know where you are getting at. Younger people have it a lot harder then older people at times. There is a need for patience. The good thing it gets better with time. Everything falls in place as long as you seek and you feel fine with yourself and life in general over time. The best way to feel at peace is to make the most of what you already have now.

You are 18 , that's a very young age. And reading your post it feels like you have a good idea of what you want for yourself for the time being, the problem is perhaps you don't know how to make the most of your life yet. The best way to get clarity is to start living and doing what you feel called towards, with whatever little you have for yourself right now. 18 years of age is not an age where you can demand all freedom at once. Even adults who have all the pleasures of friends, job and education sometimes don't feel free. Freedom is a feeling. Education and finding a job are ways of survival. They are one of the things with which you can find freedom but that's not where it ends. You can work hard, make money and save, but that's not the same thing as expecting life to be all good all at once. If that is finding freedom to you, then start with something small. Work at a diner , or babysit , etc part time for money. That first step working in the real world can be a lot harder than dealing with your grandparents at home, but it will be worth it in the end. When you learn to take more responsibility for yourself and for your life, maybe you can contribute something in return to your grandparents , or maybe in the long run start your own family if you want one. That's a part of growing up. It starts with self, and with the first steps. The bigger explorations come later in life with experience.
If you like to stay alone, then there you have you answer already. Maybe few years down the line, you won't feel the need to mix your need for aloneness with loneliness. You perhaps wont mind being more by yourself. Have you talked to some very old people, or sometimes even little children around age 11. They like to stay alone too, and don't demand much company. A lot of people like to stay alone, and maybe that's a good thing. If you feel like you need to explore more of life, and finding friends is one of the ways you can do that, then do so. There are lots of opportunities to find what you are looking for when you really want to.
All the best to you.

Hello, thank you for your message.
I feel you understood how I am feeling a lot. And perhaps how a lot of people my age feel. Patience is really important I agree, I wish I had more patience and acted less on impulse. I have just got a job in a café recently. I try to help my grandparents as much as I can. I am really confused. Sometimes I feel I will in the future settle down with a man and have children and others times I don't feel that will happen for me. I guess I can't know or say now. Only I can say is I am not ready to have that now. I don't know. Also at times I feel like a young child and other times I feel like like an old woman with the life I am living. I just have to accept all that is happening. And just follow what is true.
Thank you all the best too.

[Rosie17]

Originally Posted by calisushi810

First, remember the belief you need a job, friends or an education are arbitrary social conventions designed to make you feel you are not good enough. Which clearly isn't true. Your writing is excellent and everyone is born with different gifts from the spiritual realm. Everyone. Take time to discover your own talents . you're only 18 years old. Don't take your grandparents for granted. They know and understand things from experience and love you. Moments where you feel the most are moments where you learn about life. Turn off the tv and put down the phone and anything that creates automatic thoughts. Be careful how to feel about men. You should see your self on equal ground and understand Some times people try to make it feel like they are great and you couldn't live without them.

I hear your voice and want you to know you have a beautiful life ahead of you if you seek light and love. Don't be tied down with judgments or feelings about your self that are based on principles of conformity

Hi Calisushi,

Thank you ever so much for writing.

I agree very much these things are set up to make us feel not good enough. Sometimes I take my not feeling good enough feeling too seriously. Oh, thank you. I wouldn't say I have found any gift yet but I am not ruling out I don't have one as I see everyone does too. Yes, you are right. I know they love me even when they are controlling me. I guess it's only because they want me to have more than they did when they was young. Yes, I do not watch TV, and I try to stay off my phone as much as I can. I use it only for communication. [i] Have really become disconnected with the world around me it feels, espeically my generation. Yes, men are strange to me. Maybe they are dangerous to me as I'm too curious for my own good.

Again, thank you so much for writing to me. And sharing with me your words of light and wisdom. I really needed this today as sometimes the light hides from me and I am sucked back into the illusionary world of judgements and ego.

[o0A0o]

Originally Posted by Rosie17

I'm not sure how to feel about my life situation. I have just turned 18 and have no friends, no job, no further education I am going for, and now living with my grandparents who live like it's still 1945 in England, they are also highly unconscious and push their beliefs on me. This time last year I was very 'popular' and doing well for myself in a systematic sense, but I was miserable. I met a man and he enlightened me on what my true nature was and showed me how it had been stripped from me all these years. I lived with him for 5 months. It was beautiful and chaotic for my once bigger egoic self. I left him because things like my old comforts were pulling me back home. He advised me to go in the end because I thought I was miserable but it was really my ego dying. I just feel peaceful on my own, and in company of others if they are not disturbing me. But I can't help feel a niggle of loneliness and longing to meet people here that will be a good balance for me. The man I met was far a head in the depth of his awareness than I was. Where as the people I am with now (my grandparents) are so asleep it makes me somewhat frustrated but I keep it all in because if I express too much I would have no where to live. So I literally keep quiet on what I truly feel inside. I don't want my old life back, where I was surrounded by 'friends' but felt lonely. Nor right now do I feel comfortable moving back in with this man. Anyway he has told me he has to move on and he has I believe, but I understand why, I couldn't keep him waiting who knows how long it takes to be ready. I just really feel there must be people.

Sorry for the long post, I just felt I needed to get this off my chest as I haven't expressed this to anyone. Thank you for reading.

Hello Rosie,

When do you know someone is a friend? Can one apply for the position or does it need to happen naturally? If you are taking applications I would like to apply to be your friend. My background includes experience with friends. I have had a few in my lifetime. I have had good and not so good ones. I have been a good one and a not so good one myself.

Friends typically have a few things in common with us but not always. Currently I have a friend who it seems I have very little in common with yet over time we have become better and better friends. The thing we share is interest in each others activities even though I have no interest in taking up those activities and, based on knowing that friend does not do anything I do, I suspect they do not have any interest in taking up my activities. But I am interested in that friend and that they have been involved in such activities. It is the stuff between that is the basis of the friendship.

You and I have some things in common. We both have made it to our 18th year of life here. I know what it is like to not have a job and to be fussy about what where and how I make a living. I know what it is like to be around people who are not very enlightened, if at all. In this regard I may be worse off as I am a sponge and absorb my environment, dark and light. Living near the ocean has been a lifesaver as it seems to wash away negativity.

My grandmother was very stuffy. I never enjoyed being around her. She laughed but she also was too serious when she was not laughing. This made it more unpleasant than enjoyable. She became too dark when she was feeling dark.

I discovered something when she passed away. She had an interesting collection of spiritual books. In her unhappiness she had soul searched and was looking for depth in life. I did not know this or see this in her when she was alive.

She had a very tough life. She worked hard. With a full time job she had a side business utilizing her sewing machine. She lived alone and was lonely but she also took up various creative endeavors. She participated in courses though the mail in those days. She was learning to oil paint and played the organ.

I inherited her oil painting supplies. Oil painting turned out to be the way I connected with the source. I felt like I was instructed within. It was a deeply spiritual experience for me. I was born with natural ability but these deep painting experiences produced exponential growth in me. Sometimes things seemed like they would jump out of me. I am severely critical of myself but I was impressed with what would come forth sometimes.

I am naturally an idealist. I had grand ideas and aspired to produce work that spoke to the soul. I took art very seriously, too seriously. I put everything into it. I refined and perfected. I would do it for people but I wasn't making a piece of art as much as I was sharing my ability to tap into the source and surf the wave. It was truly just a way for me to love.

A lifelong dream was to be a fine artist. I eventually had the studio with vaulted ceilings, wonderful natural light, 360 degrees of ventilation allowing ocean air to stream through. I had this big easel fit for a master. I lived in my studio and slept on the hardwood floor. I stocked up on my preferred brushes, paint and canvas.

Skipping years ahead I do not do much art anymore. In between now and those days many things changed, many discoveries were made and painting became an emotionally unbearable experience. When I make a stroke with a brush on canvas it feels like everything positive is bleeding out of me. I feel like the wind is knocked out of me emotionally. I become sad to debilitating degrees.

For years I kept thinking I would get passed this and live that life I dreamed of eventually. I am now at the end of the road. I am not going to be that person. I have not been the person I thought I was. I have only been a dreamer.

15 years in this studio I had not produced anything that I felt good about and that I felt good producing. It was painful. Just this past year I faced reality. I would not be living that life I had planned to and longed to. I moved everything to storage or gave it away. Eventually I will sell or give the rest away but I do not plan on taking it up again in the future. I redecorated the place and it is now a nice living space.

The last few years I have expressed the creative energy through writing. I also have been developing animation skills as I found imagining episodes for a cartoon world was liberating and did not produce the emotional punch in the stomach of fine art. But this is far from the grand ideas I once had for myself.

What is the moral of this story?

There are things I wish I could do for you that I believe would ensure more happiness in your life. Look for joy in the moment. Focus on the rhythm of life and surf the wave. You might believe you are looking for the special things but being fussy only emphasizes all of the dull and flat spots. Instead mold yourself into something that rolls with everything.

[Rosie17]

Originally Posted by o0A0o

Hello Rosie,

When do you know someone is a friend? Can one apply for the position or does it need to happen naturally? If you are taking applications I would like to apply to be your friend. My background includes experience with friends. I have had a few in my lifetime. I have had good and not so good ones. I have been a good one and a not so good one myself.

Friends typically have a few things in common with us but not always. Currently I have a friend who it seems I have very little in common with yet over time we have become better and better friends. The thing we share is interest in each others activities even though I have no interest in taking up those activities and, based on knowing that friend does not do anything I do, I suspect they do not have any interest in taking up my activities. But I am interested in that friend and that they have been involved in such activities. It is the stuff between that is the basis of the friendship.

You and I have some things in common. We both have made it to our 18th year of life here. I know what it is like to not have a job and to be fussy about what where and how I make a living. I know what it is like to be around people who are not very enlightened, if at all. In this regard I may be worse off as I am a sponge and absorb my environment, dark and light. Living near the ocean has been a lifesaver as it seems to wash away negativity.

My grandmother was very stuffy. I never enjoyed being around her. She laughed but she also was too serious when she was not laughing. This made it more unpleasant than enjoyable. She became too dark when she was feeling dark.

I discovered something when she passed away. She had an interesting collection of spiritual books. In her unhappiness she had soul searched and was looking for depth in life. I did not know this or see this in her when she was alive.

She had a very tough life. She worked hard. With a full time job she had a side business utilizing her sewing machine. She lived alone and was lonely but she also took up various creative endeavors. She participated in courses though the mail in those days. She was learning to oil paint and played the organ.

I inherited her oil painting supplies. Oil painting turned out to be the way I connected with the source. I felt like I was instructed within. It was a deeply spiritual experience for me. I was born with natural ability but these deep painting experiences produced exponential growth in me. Sometimes things seemed like they would jump out of me. I am severely critical of myself but I was impressed with what would come forth sometimes.

I am naturally an idealist. I had grand ideas and aspired to produce work that spoke to the soul. I took art very seriously, too seriously. I put everything into it. I refined and perfected. I would do it for people but I wasn't making a piece of art as much as I was sharing my ability to tap into the source and surf the wave. It was truly just a way for me to love.

A lifelong dream was to be a fine artist. I eventually had the studio with vaulted ceilings, wonderful natural light, 360 degrees of ventilation allowing ocean air to stream through. I had this big easel fit for a master. I lived in my studio and slept on the hardwood floor. I stocked up on my preferred brushes, paint and canvas.

Skipping years ahead I do not do much art anymore. In between now and those days many things changed, many discoveries were made and painting became an emotionally unbearable experience. When I make a stroke with a brush on canvas it feels like everything positive is bleeding out of me. I feel like the wind is knocked out of me emotionally. I become sad to debilitating degrees.

For years I kept thinking I would get passed this and live that life I dreamed of eventually. I am now at the end of the road. I am not going to be that person. I have not been the person I thought I was. I have only been a dreamer.

15 years in this studio I had not produced anything that I felt good about and that I felt good producing. It was painful. Just this past year I faced reality. I would not be living that life I had planned to and longed to. I moved everything to storage or gave it away. Eventually I will sell or give the rest away but I do not plan on taking it up again in the future. I redecorated the place and it is now a nice living space.

The last few years I have expressed the creative energy through writing. I also have been developing animation skills as I found imagining episodes for a cartoon world was liberating and did not produce the emotional punch in the stomach of fine art. But this is far from the grand ideas I once had for myself.

What is the moral of this story?

There are things I wish I could do for you that I believe would ensure more happiness in your life. Look for joy in the moment. Focus on the rhythm of life and surf the wave. You might believe you are looking for the special things but being fussy only emphasizes all of the dull and flat spots. Instead mold yourself into something that rolls with everything.

Hi o0A0o,
Nice to meet you friend.

Yes, I feel that friends don't need much in common. Maybe to share the same humour in life helps a friendship. But I am not sure. As i am not sure of anything it seems.

I also feel my grandparents are very stuffy. I thought moving here would mean more space and quietness in myself & surroundings. I was very wrong in thinking all older people were quiet of judgement and laid back.
It's very interesting to hear about your Grandmother and the books you had found of hers. As I am sure in my grandparents life they must have stopped for a moment and feel 'but what's this all about?' Lol. But I feel my grandparents have a lot of 'pride' and thoughts of who they think they are or who they was and they take that way too seriously to even consider the depths of life. It's a shame they ignore these things and even laugh at me as if I'm crazy. My Grandad keeps saying to me 'You're a young girl, you don't want to be getting involved with things like that' when he see's me reading spiritual books.

Wow, learning to oil paint and playing the organ. Very creative, I feel that's a lovely thing. Perhaps for her that was were she felt the higher self. I feel art is a wonderful thing. It is an expression of love, but there are many other ways too. I am a dreamer too, although i don't feel it's entirely bad thing, is it? I'm glad to hear you changed the room for you now to live in more happily. I love to write too, I have this old typewriter from the 50s and I enjoy using that. Oh, wow cool. I love animation, also I enjoy cartoons very much still lol.
Let It Roll - George Harrison
Thank you, you have give me happiness as of now so I am grateful for you.

[Universal.Vibe]

You had an awakening, your vibration changed

Non resonant vibrations repel

You are in the process of attracting new friends that resonate but for now you are still in transit