Hard to love others? Been lied to and betrayed? Step right up...let's help each other

Originally Posted by Emm

My mother had been retired from work about ten years when we took a walk through the town. We bumped into someone she knew. They looked pretty pleased about seeing each other, passed a few pleasantries and a cheerful goodbye. A few minutes later my mum laughed and said she just remembered who the lady was...apparently she was a work colleague and neither of them liked each other very much, always having little fall outs and ended up not speaking. I think she was shocked to find she was a decent person afterall.

At 60 years old I've spent more time out of this one-horse town than in it, and while the majority of the people I knew are gone there are still a few I'd known from school. Some I've talked to and the story is always the same, the old differences have gone and there's nothing left but a fondness in nostalgia. It should have happened 'back then'.

Originally Posted by Emm

If we were to realise that keeping the memory alive will hurt us more than to let it go then yes. That painful memory is likely going to attract the same type of energy so letting go is necessary to stop the karmic wheel from spinning. It doesn't mean you condone the wrong behaviour, it just means you care more about your own well being than keeping the memory alive.

We are here to learn the lessons and develop Spiritually yet it's "wrong behaviour"? The karmic wheel keeps on spinning because we keep giving it momentum but what if we could turn around what comes around? Someone once told me that people lash out because they themselves hurt inside and it's often the only way they can express it, they want you to at least acknowledge their pain - it's a form of communication. Some don't even know they hurt and yes, it does happen.


Often looking through the lens of Spirituality means you're missing out on all the good stuff.


If you feel you've been betrayed and lied to, what have you done? Because surprisingly enough, if this is how you feel then it's you that started this avalanche.

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

That's RIGHT!

I think I'll go gibber quietly in a corner.

[Emm]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

At 60 years old I've spent more time out of this one-horse town than in it, and while the majority of the people I knew are gone there are still a few I'd known from school. Some I've talked to and the story is always the same, the old differences have gone and there's nothing left but a fondness in nostalgia. It should have happened 'back then'.

Must be our age LOL, it takes a lot of energy to harbour old grudges.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

We are here to learn the lessons and develop Spiritually yet it's "wrong behaviour"?

You don't have to consciously develop spiritually...my husband certainly doesn't see the need he prefers to just enjoy every moment, in fact he loves to moan, he does it so well even his grandkids call him Grumps However in a crisis he comes up with the most wisest of comments...most unlike him True though, there must be something to be learned on both sides of the coin so maybe calling it "wrong behaviour" was a mistake on my part. Articulating what I mean isnt a strong point of mine

Originally Posted by Greenslade

The karmic wheel keeps on spinning because we keep giving it momentum but what if we could turn around what comes around?

Yes deep seated repetitive thoughts certainly give the wheel its momentum ...if only we knew how to switch it off? I used to work with preschoolers and one of the things we were taught when encountering emotional outbursts was simply to redirect their attention elsewhere...it worked remarkably well...its all a matter of focus, I even tried this with adults including myself of course lol.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Someone once told me that people lash out because they themselves hurt inside and it's often the only way they can express it, they want you to at least acknowledge their pain - it's a form of communication.

Yes I can understand that...but unfortunately it also leads to Self Pity which isnt comforting...it just keeps you in suffering. I knew someone very close to me like that ...they become very manipulative and doesn't bode well in relationships.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Some don't even know they hurt and yes, it does happen.

I guess it depends on triggers...I met my dad this year after a 40 year absence. I always thought it would be good to meet him again but I didn't expect some of the resistance I felt at times during conversation. I could have communicated it but saw little need to bring up old wounds after such a long time so let it go. Some things stay buried until the right moment comes up for healing...we just need to be aware I guess.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Often looking through the lens of Spirituality means you're missing out on all the good stuff.

Well it seems there are many ideas of what spirituality is ...but I see your point. Live in the moment, but isn't that also being spiritual even if you don't know it?

Originally Posted by Greenslade

If you feel you've been betrayed and lied to, what have you done? Because surprisingly enough, if this is how you feel then it's you that started this avalanche.

Often its not what you've done but how you feel about yourself or beliefs you hold for the world in general...with betrayal and lies maybe you have trust issues and the betrayal is confirmation that no one can be trusted which intensifies the belief which attracts more of the same...karma, cause and effect. All this may simply have had its beginnings when a parent breaks a promise.

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Often looking through the lens of Spirituality means you're missing out on all the good stuff.

Originally Posted by Greenslade

if this is how you feel then it's you that started this avalanche.

The latter strikes me as being equivalent to the idea of 'original' 'sin' mea culpa.

I think there's both 'wise' stuff (knowledge, advice, et.c) and 'stupid' stuff (ignorance, miss-guidance) 'out there' in the 'field' of 'spirituality'. Your 'prejudice' against the whole 'field' (or 'lens') is one of 'em 'stupid' choices, I think.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

At 60 years old I've spent more time out of this one-horse town than in it, and while the majority of the people I knew are gone there are still a few I'd known from school. Some I've talked to and the story is always the same, the old differences have gone and there's nothing left but a fondness in nostalgia. It should have happened 'back then'.

We are here to learn the lessons and develop Spiritually yet it's "wrong behaviour"? The karmic wheel keeps on spinning because we keep giving it momentum but what if we could turn around what comes around? Someone once told me that people lash out because they themselves hurt inside and it's often the only way they can express it, they want you to at least acknowledge their pain - it's a form of communication. Some don't even know they hurt and yes, it does happen.


Often looking through the lens of Spirituality means you're missing out on all the good stuff.


If you feel you've been betrayed and lied to, what have you done? Because surprisingly enough, if this is how you feel then it's you that started this avalanche.

I'm not so sure because the investment of trust that enables a betrayal to break the trust makes it destructive beyond the immediate circumstance.

[davidsun]

I would be interested in how peeps here 'practice' (what they call) 'forgiveness' in relation to the real-life atrocities talked about here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCToIBwruyU

Other than by 'simply' saying it's 'all' just a 'dream' to there was no 'harm' really done in the first place.

[davidsun]

P.S. Oh, yeah - and then there's my interest in hearing what peeps have to say about the sexual abuse of children by Catholic priests in Pennsylviani and the cover up (by Bishops!), till now that is, that being reported in the news. And PLEASE, if at all possible, don't just minimize and dismiss it all as just being a 'dream' or just 'karma' or the result of the operation of the LOA - that is, if any other ideas strike you are being more realistic/plausible - such ideas just don't 'cut the mustard' for me.

[Emm]

Originally Posted by davidsun

I would be interested in how peeps here 'practice' (what they call) 'forgiveness' in relation to the real-life atrocities talked about here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCToIBwruyU

Other than by 'simply' saying it's 'all' just a 'dream' to there was no 'harm' really done in the first place.

I guess its easier to forgive when those perpetrators have owned up to their deeds and learned its not who they really are as a loving entities inside. When they seek forgiveness themselves and mean it makes the process of forgiving essential. There is the hope tho that we all have learned something about ourselves through these events so that those who have suffered didn't die in vain.

[Emm]

Originally Posted by davidsun

P.S. Oh, yeah - and then there's my interest in hearing what peeps have to say about the sexual abuse of children by Catholic priests in Pennsylviani and the cover up (by Bishops!), till now that is, that being reported in the news. And PLEASE, if at all possible, don't just minimize and dismiss it all as just being a 'dream' or just 'karma' or the result of the operation of the LOA - that is, if any other ideas strike you are being more realistic/plausible - such ideas just don't 'cut the mustard' for me.

The blame goes both ways. Catholics for a very long time have regarded Priests almost as deity, not to mention the Pope. They've been put on a pedastal by the parishioners themselves and their faith has laid a huge amount of guilt tripping on these people. There is such a lot of back stabbing in the community and ego combing that hides behind a facade of "seen to be doing good". For a faith that teaches non judgement I have never come across so many that do just that.

The Priests too have grown up in this environment. Not only that but now they are in a position of power as well as restriction. They are on show and are under pressure to be a guiding light when beneath they have human needs that needs expressing. Just like a pressure cooker something has got to give. If you ask me everyone is to blame for coming up with such an unrealistic way to live. We are all brothers and sisters of light, no one is higher than another...putting people on pedatals only invites trouble. That goes for Presidents and Priests alike.

I've lived and worked within this community...its why I got out. Love is only surface deep within the church. Everyone is afraid of looking to be at fault for one reason or another so hid it well with good deeds. Always be careful of those that look holier than thou because you can guarantee they have a secret they don't want to get out. Oh you can say you love God with all your might but your neighbour is a different story. Yet where is God hiding lol but in your neighbour.

The only way to move forward in my opinion is transparancy. And that won't happen because people have too much to lose.

No I do not like what has been going on and kept secret amongst those who should know better, but they are a product of what we've made them so I think we all need forgiveness.

You might not like the idea of karma and LOA David but I see it as a reality just by what I've written above. You can spend a lifetime hiding behind a bible but can you fully understand what's been written. LOA was taught by Jesus but given in language that those of that era could understand and accept. Someone said, "if you want to see change you have to be the change you want to see." you can't do that if you stick to the doctrine of 2000 years and expect different results.

There's a simple solution to finding out if its a reality and thats awareness ...note what you're feeling and the issues you focus on and see what comes up in your day. I'm betting you see an increase in the subject matter.

[M.Tesla]

Yes. Pray if ya want... I'll pray for all the broken hearted