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  #1  
Old 10-09-2018, 01:39 PM
Lolly Lolly is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 547
 
Unhappy Things haven't been quite what they seemed

For a while, I've been waking up to words that weren't mine. Every so often, I'd get words that felt a bit 'off' is the best way to describe them. It left me with a niggle that's made me really look at what's been given. In May, I was pointed in the direction of finding a house that I really liked after not being able to find one I liked for ages. In the month before, I noticed that from being quite neutral after being a bit down in the dumps I suddenly went to being ecstatic with joy literally overnight and I think I posted on here about it as I couldn't understand where it came from.

Nothing bothered me, I didn't get angry or upset at things that I normally would, nothing annoyed me and my dreams took on a much nicer turn. Moving house is stressful and I hadn't enjoyed it previously so I felt after I'd moved into this wonderful new house that the Universe perhaps helped me by keeping me upbeat. The way it happened so quickly had left me reeling and the synchronicities were off the scale so much so, I struggled to get my head around it.

After settling in I found I was bored. I asked myself why I didn't feel grateful and kept thinking, you do feel grateful to thinking but not grateful enough to how I feel I should be. There was something I couldn't put my finger on. Whilst being unable to sleep one night I heard the word 'Lazarus' and laughed thinking what the heck, where did I think of that from. That was the start of the words coming to me on a more regular basis.

Anyway, words have been coming and I've been feeling like there was something I wasn't picking up on. I'd been researching Egyptology which has been an on and off thing for a few months, I'd see something that made me look at something else and go off on a tangent then go back to Egyptology again. About 3 nights ago, something piqued my interest in the direction of 'Jesus' and I don't know why. I've never read the bible, the last time I held one in my hand was as a small child at school. I've never grown up with an interest in religion of any kind. I thought of myself as an atheist until a major trauma set the ball rolling into becoming 'aware'

Something about Jesus, I don't understand what yet, I decided to watch a documentary and since that have looked at quite a bit in that I saw someone 'question communication they had with something that didn't feel right to them' so that had me 'perked up' as I felt like that's how I felt on odd occasions but not all. I went to bed the other night and decided not to meditate and in the morning was given the words 'you're p.ssing Stephen off'

This was one of those occasions where I felt something wasn't quite right here and I'd watched that initial documentary about Jesus that night before going to bed. Last night I didn't meditate, I waited until I was relaxed and said to no-one in particular....'I get words coming to me that are sometimes swear words and the odd word that feels derogatory but I haven't been sure if I've taken it out of context and given it the benefit of the doubt, but now I'm asking if any of the information I've been given has come through you from Creator in the name of Jesus of Nazareth, son of Creator and who died on the cross and rose 3 days later.'

So, this morning I've had these words, almost as a back and forth communication which made me realise, I've been made to believe that I was unable to communicate unless I meditated first and it had to be in the form of dreams or on waking. I've thought about that before in that I felt I should be able to communicate like that with myself all the time surely....anyway, this is what I received:

Lottery
Mountain
Neil Diamond


I asked for clarification on why I'd had the words 'you're p.ssing Stephen off' and in reply got;

Baby Girl
White Bunny
Faith


At this point I thought, somethings not right here, I saw that white rabbit out of the blue again yesterday after not seeing it for days and then immediately after thinking it I received the words;

P.ss off Eric
Planted Finger
Wanted Suicide


I then saw an image of a herd of horses with people riding them and got more words;

Rainbow
Presidency Took Over


I saw an image of a gold ring lying in dirt, then more words;

Nicks Spoils

At this point I said....'I don't believe you' and these are the words I got in return;

How does it feel
Too thick too notice
Choice
You are diminished
Death will come crawling at your door


So.....I've got up thinking, ok, at least I now know. Perhaps I'm an easy target, I live alone, I removed all my family and friends as they weren't serving me anymore with this new 'awareness' so I've essentially isolated myself which is what someone with depression will do. Withdraw. I've always enjoyed my own company and liked doing things on my own but still enjoyed others company.

I couldn't understand how I've manifested some of the great things I have since May this year feeling like I haven't done anything to manifest them myself because after moving in, not even a month after I was starting to feel 'bored' and 'low' out of the blue. I can see why I would have inner turmoil and think I was depressed from nowhere when I actually haven't been.

There's been a pattern of what seems like being built up for a few weeks to crash down to being built up again, to crash down and I'm in the process of trying to look back at when that started.

I don't know what 'had hold of me' I won't let it carry on I know that. I just feel a little lost and disappointed and don't know where to go from here. I don't know if some things were right and somethings sneakily slipped in or if it was all from the same thing. I feel wary as synchronicities have continued all day. I feel like I've been taken advantage of and wonder just how long this has been going on, whether it was going on before I became 'aware' and started this spiritual journey

I apologise to everyone who's been helping me decoding my dreams and the words. I don't know what were my dreams or if any of them have been. Sigh.
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  #2  
Old 11-09-2018, 12:01 AM
Shivani Devi Shivani Devi is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 10,861
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It sounds like the Djinn are having a nice time giving you cryptic messages that mean absolutely nothing - they are past masters at this, trust me.

I have a P-SB7 Spirit Box...a modified radio which skips through radio stations at such an astonishing rate, there is no time for a single word to get through...and yet, I'll still get half sentences, cryptic words and phrases...in much the same vein as all of those messages and words you are getting...after a while, one doesn't need the box and can hear them with their own ears.

Basically, I choose to disregard all of this with a 'tell me what you mean by this or else pi$$ off yourself!" and I have found that works.

When I see orbs...I go "unless you are prepared to give me a full-body apparition, I don't want to look, so go away".

The Djinn love to infiltrate dreams with their nonsense as well..."death will come knocking at your door"....heck it knocks at everybody's door...are you going to be more specific or just keep stating the obvious? etc

Honestly, they are more annoying than flies around a picnic, my friend.
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  #3  
Old 11-09-2018, 10:37 AM
Michelle11 Michelle11 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,689
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I, of course, cannot say with certainty that your impressions of what is going on are not correct. We do have to follow our gut on things as that is our truth center but I am still inclined to feel that these messages are meant to help not hurt you. I have the same thing happen to me. It started out as song lyrics popping up in my head now I am getting groups of phrases that pop up out of the blue that don't feel like they come from my thinking brain. Some of them can be very odd. I don't always figure them out but some of the ones I have had, have been really interesting. the other day I got the phrases, Pig Galaxy and then Flying Debris. Very odd phrases that seem like complete nonsense. Not soon after that I fell to sleep on the couch and woke up a couple of hours later to find my dog chewing on a medicine bottle. I wondered where she got it, took it away and she then immediately bolted upstairs. I went up there to find that she had gotten into a toiletries bag and tore through it with little bits of chew up contents strewn all over the floor. Needless to say some of it was medicine pill packs so we had to take her to the vet but it was a warning. I don't know I could have sorted it out but I do take it as it was meant to be a heads up.

So with that I feel like we can look at what you have been receiving as a message as well. I tend to like to look at things from a symbolic perspective. This includes names. Each name means something and so I usually will look it up for clues. I have also noticed, as I have been working through some depression, that we have many sides to us. Different aspects and personality traits that don't always work in balance. And even parts of us that work against us. I have found that usually those parts that work against us are born from misguided ideas and beliefs we picked up along the way from possibly well meaning but misguided humans we have encountered regardless if it is parents, friends or the media.

So looking at your messages I know the one about making Stephen angry was a bit unnerving to you because you were inclined to think you were upsetting Jesus since Stephen means crowned one. That may be possibly but in my view, Jesus is unconditional love and so he would never get angry at anyone. He has immense compassion for all humans so much so he died for them all. So if it isn’t Jesus the name could have been pointing towards something else. Crowned one could mean the ruling one. The one who governs over the kingdom. So the part of you that is in charge of the rules you live by.

We all create rules we live by whether they are conscious or subconscious. Ideas about how we think life should be and how we should perform or behave. Sometimes these rules are unrealistic but we buy into them because our parents or friends bought into them and we think that is how life is supposed to be. It isn’t necessarily the truth. Why I think this is the case with your messages is that you again got another name, Eric that is angry. Eric as well means Noble ruler. This suggests to me that there is a part of you that feels you must be noble and follow some sort of code to the letter or else. Or else what is hidden in the other phrases. Nick spoils specifically. Nick means victorious people and he is spoiling things, or spoiling the party which could mean that there is some idea in your head that if you aren’t victorious that may mean you are a loser. If you fail at something, don’t do well, aren’t perfect, act poorly, or any number of things that you feel you should live up to you may start to point a finger at yourself, accuse yourself of all sort of wrong doing and believe you should suicide. Or the upset that comes of being hyper critical of yourself may lead you to feel suicidal. I am not suggesting that you are suicidal but I know from experience that it can come in subtle ways without our really being conscious of it. A feeling of wanting to run away from life, a feeling of wanting to escape may be a subtle red flag that our subconscious is a bit stuck on how to sort itself out and is looking to escape life.

So we look to the first phrase and see the possible crux of it all. Neil means champion, diamonds are highly valuable so the gamble for you (lottery) that is your challenge in life (mountain) is to break past the idea that your worth (diamond) is tied into being a champion (neil). When we look at life this way our ruler side can get pretty upset and angry if we aren’t living up to that expectation which is usually too high. Instead, spirit is asking that you have faith in yourself, see yourself as innocent and worthy of love. The rest I believe points towards you trying to become more conscious of your emotions, (rainbow) because that is when our ruler side takes over and can lead us down dark paths that can spiral into feeling suicidal because we feel diminished (unworthy) as a person. Many people aren’t taught to work with their emotions but they really are there to help give us a heads up to pay attention to our thinking. The negative ones especially can help us uncover our limiting beliefs that keep us stuck in repeating defeating and even destructive patterns. So overall, I see the messages as a sign that you need to give yourself a break, see yourself in an innocent light and shift away from the thinking style that says there are winners and losers in life. There aren’t. No one is better because they got first place and no one is less worthy because they came in last. That is a man made idea that was born from a desire to have high aspirations but when it is misused it can be very damaging to our self image. It is definitely a common belief system but one that doesn’t serve our higher good. So if any of this resonates with you just try and find new ways to define who you are and where your worth lies. It will liberate you.
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  #4  
Old 11-09-2018, 09:33 PM
FallingLeaves FallingLeaves is offline
Master
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,383
 
it is rough, finding nice things happening and then having to question the motive for which they happened and having to mistrust and think that was the most important thing.

OTOH getting lost in nice things happening 'magically' can be a real problem. If what you need for example is to learn to rely on yourself more?

Unless you never ever get nice things happening anyway anyway in which case it can be a real gem when it does appear. But then getting past the mistrust is where the next problem lies.

OTOH I feel like you were given an opportunity to learn something here. Whether it would have been of interest to you I don't know. I do know you said at one point that some of the hidden knowledge seemed interesting though... personally, if I could have just been fed some of the stuff I know instead of having to scrounge around in the spiritual equivalent of trash heaps and other unlikeable places to find hidden manna, AND trusted that it would actually work out that I did that, I would have been in seventh heaven! But that is just me. I realize others may desire a different path.

there is no magic bullet, the choice you made has some pluses and some minuses. I don't know enough about you to know where your heart really lies... maybe michelle11 was able to get closer to that
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  #5  
Old 12-09-2018, 12:56 PM
Lolly Lolly is offline
Guide
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 547
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shivani Devi
It sounds like the Djinn are having a nice time giving you cryptic messages that mean absolutely nothing - they are past masters at this, trust me.

I have a P-SB7 Spirit Box...a modified radio which skips through radio stations at such an astonishing rate, there is no time for a single word to get through...and yet, I'll still get half sentences, cryptic words and phrases...in much the same vein as all of those messages and words you are getting...after a while, one doesn't need the box and can hear them with their own ears.

Basically, I choose to disregard all of this with a 'tell me what you mean by this or else pi$$ off yourself!" and I have found that works.

When I see orbs...I go "unless you are prepared to give me a full-body apparition, I don't want to look, so go away".

The Djinn love to infiltrate dreams with their nonsense as well..."death will come knocking at your door"....heck it knocks at everybody's door...are you going to be more specific or just keep stating the obvious? etc

Honestly, they are more annoying than flies around a picnic, my friend.

This has been my response to it, that everybody dies anyway and when I got the words 'too thick to notice' I thought, but I have noticed derrrr! I like your feistiness Shivani Devi
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  #6  
Old 12-09-2018, 02:00 PM
Lolly Lolly is offline
Guide
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 547
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle11
I, of course, cannot say with certainty that your impressions of what is going on are not correct. We do have to follow our gut on things as that is our truth center but I am still inclined to feel that these messages are meant to help not hurt you. I have the same thing happen to me. It started out as song lyrics popping up in my head now I am getting groups of phrases that pop up out of the blue that don't feel like they come from my thinking brain. Some of them can be very odd. I don't always figure them out but some of the ones I have had, have been really interesting. the other day I got the phrases, Pig Galaxy and then Flying Debris. Very odd phrases that seem like complete nonsense. Not soon after that I fell to sleep on the couch and woke up a couple of hours later to find my dog chewing on a medicine bottle. I wondered where she got it, took it away and she then immediately bolted upstairs. I went up there to find that she had gotten into a toiletries bag and tore through it with little bits of chew up contents strewn all over the floor. Needless to say some of it was medicine pill packs so we had to take her to the vet but it was a warning. I don't know I could have sorted it out but I do take it as it was meant to be a heads up.

So with that I feel like we can look at what you have been receiving as a message as well. I tend to like to look at things from a symbolic perspective. This includes names. Each name means something and so I usually will look it up for clues. I have also noticed, as I have been working through some depression, that we have many sides to us. Different aspects and personality traits that don't always work in balance. And even parts of us that work against us. I have found that usually those parts that work against us are born from misguided ideas and beliefs we picked up along the way from possibly well meaning but misguided humans we have encountered regardless if it is parents, friends or the media.

So looking at your messages I know the one about making Stephen angry was a bit unnerving to you because you were inclined to think you were upsetting Jesus since Stephen means crowned one. That may be possibly but in my view, Jesus is unconditional love and so he would never get angry at anyone. He has immense compassion for all humans so much so he died for them all. So if it isn’t Jesus the name could have been pointing towards something else. Crowned one could mean the ruling one. The one who governs over the kingdom. So the part of you that is in charge of the rules you live by.

We all create rules we live by whether they are conscious or subconscious. Ideas about how we think life should be and how we should perform or behave. Sometimes these rules are unrealistic but we buy into them because our parents or friends bought into them and we think that is how life is supposed to be. It isn’t necessarily the truth. Why I think this is the case with your messages is that you again got another name, Eric that is angry. Eric as well means Noble ruler. This suggests to me that there is a part of you that feels you must be noble and follow some sort of code to the letter or else. Or else what is hidden in the other phrases. Nick spoils specifically. Nick means victorious people and he is spoiling things, or spoiling the party which could mean that there is some idea in your head that if you aren’t victorious that may mean you are a loser. If you fail at something, don’t do well, aren’t perfect, act poorly, or any number of things that you feel you should live up to you may start to point a finger at yourself, accuse yourself of all sort of wrong doing and believe you should suicide. Or the upset that comes of being hyper critical of yourself may lead you to feel suicidal. I am not suggesting that you are suicidal but I know from experience that it can come in subtle ways without our really being conscious of it. A feeling of wanting to run away from life, a feeling of wanting to escape may be a subtle red flag that our subconscious is a bit stuck on how to sort itself out and is looking to escape life.

So we look to the first phrase and see the possible crux of it all. Neil means champion, diamonds are highly valuable so the gamble for you (lottery) that is your challenge in life (mountain) is to break past the idea that your worth (diamond) is tied into being a champion (neil). When we look at life this way our ruler side can get pretty upset and angry if we aren’t living up to that expectation which is usually too high. Instead, spirit is asking that you have faith in yourself, see yourself as innocent and worthy of love. The rest I believe points towards you trying to become more conscious of your emotions, (rainbow) because that is when our ruler side takes over and can lead us down dark paths that can spiral into feeling suicidal because we feel diminished (unworthy) as a person. Many people aren’t taught to work with their emotions but they really are there to help give us a heads up to pay attention to our thinking. The negative ones especially can help us uncover our limiting beliefs that keep us stuck in repeating defeating and even destructive patterns. So overall, I see the messages as a sign that you need to give yourself a break, see yourself in an innocent light and shift away from the thinking style that says there are winners and losers in life. There aren’t. No one is better because they got first place and no one is less worthy because they came in last. That is a man made idea that was born from a desire to have high aspirations but when it is misused it can be very damaging to our self image. It is definitely a common belief system but one that doesn’t serve our higher good. So if any of this resonates with you just try and find new ways to define who you are and where your worth lies. It will liberate you.

May I PM you Michelle11?
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  #7  
Old 12-09-2018, 02:06 PM
Michelle11 Michelle11 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,689
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Yes, of course you can.
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  #8  
Old 12-09-2018, 03:08 PM
Lolly Lolly is offline
Guide
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 547
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallingLeaves
it is rough, finding nice things happening and then having to question the motive for which they happened and having to mistrust and think that was the most important thing.

OTOH getting lost in nice things happening 'magically' can be a real problem. If what you need for example is to learn to rely on yourself more?

Unless you never ever get nice things happening anyway anyway in which case it can be a real gem when it does appear. But then getting past the mistrust is where the next problem lies.

OTOH I feel like you were given an opportunity to learn something here. Whether it would have been of interest to you I don't know. I do know you said at one point that some of the hidden knowledge seemed interesting though... personally, if I could have just been fed some of the stuff I know instead of having to scrounge around in the spiritual equivalent of trash heaps and other unlikeable places to find hidden manna, AND trusted that it would actually work out that I did that, I would have been in seventh heaven! But that is just me. I realize others may desire a different path.

there is no magic bullet, the choice you made has some pluses and some minuses. I don't know enough about you to know where your heart really lies... maybe michelle11 was able to get closer to that

For the basics, I'm just trying to live my life understanding who I am, where I'm from and what I am. I meditate and I dream and I wanted to go within and reach my 'true self' and 'creator' for knowledge and wisdom. I'm ok, I'm just looking at why I feel I need to question some of the information I've been getting.

Ultimately, my heart lies where 'love' is for what its worth
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