Beginning but lost and floundering

Aislynn · #1 01-03-2018, 11:46 AM

Hi everyone. I'm so glad to have found sf and each of you. When I was 17 I had my first 'dream'. It was unlike any dream I ever remembered having before that; it was so vibrant, real. It stayed with me for weeks. Then in my 20's I began having more of these types of dreams, they are so different from other dreams it would be impossible for me to confuse them. My family and close friends have come to know what I'm talking about when I say I had 'one of my dreams'. So, it began with dreams. Then I was able to tell a boyfriend all about a person we met, things I could have in no way known of. He of course said I was nuts. The next day he alone ran into this same person and they basically confirmed everything I had told him. He came home in a rush and basically accused me of spying on the person because there was no other way I could have known all those things. He wanted to know how I came about the personal information and when I tried to explain, all I could do was say that I 'just knew'. I don't know 'how' I knew, I just knew. He told me I was 'cracked', that there was something very wrong with me. I have lost friends and even a long term relationship with a man I loved very much over these abilities.

I have no way to control any of theses things, but have learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut. At any rate, since I was 17 I began with my 'dreams', some of which, including that very first one, was of a guy, now man, I know as John. I have seen John age, right along with me. I have always known John was a real, physical person but yet I do not physically know him outside of dreams.

Which brings me to the here and now. The past week, every time I sleep, John comes to me in my dreams. It was beginning to take its toll on me to be honest. The dreams are wonderful, actually it's being with him that's wonderful. And waking up, being torn away again and again so consecutively, THAT is what was taking its toll. So I turned to the internet as I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was honestly losing my mind. And that's when I learned of twin flames, which led me to awakenings, asscention, meditation, chakras, cleansings and so on.

I had the 'Ahaa' moment, and then started feeling like I was drowning. I now have some sort of understanding but way more confusion. And way more questions. I know where I need to go, but I'm not sure on how to get there. I'm not even sure where I'm at! If anyone can understand what I mean by that. This began when I was younger, but I'm only now beginning to understand what it's all about. So I'm not sure where in my journey others would say I'm at. I'm not sure what to do with all the information out here or where to go next with it all.

So I am here. Looking for any guidance you may be able to give, and to not feel so lost, alone and totally and completely overwhelmed.

Thank you for taking the time to read about some of my experiences. I know it's lengthy but I figured this was a place for others to get to know about me and my journey. So I thank each and every one of you.
May peace and light fill you abundantly.

~Ais

Ps... I have also had what I believe are past life dreams, and John was in them. So there is that as well, having a need to explore that. Just not sure where to begin.

SeekerOfKnowledge · #2 01-03-2018, 11:57 AM

Hello Aislynn,

welcome to Spiritual Forums. Your have come to the right place, there are people here with similar experiences.
Might you find what you need. Enjoy your stay.
Beautiful name, by the way.

Steven · #3 01-03-2018, 12:27 PM

How lucky you are to have such wonderful dreams!
I'm curious are you able to control these dreams in any way?
Can you proactively have a conversation with John regarding his own insights into your connection?

Personally, I've learned to not believe everything I hear, but John sounds genuine.
At the end of the day you have to go with your gut instinct (it's usually right).

PS.. I'm new here myself. Best of luck to all of us on our path :)

H:O:R:A:C:E · #4 01-03-2018, 12:44 PM

hi Aislynn.

hi Steven.

's

shoni7510 · #5 01-03-2018, 01:34 PM

Hello Aislynn and welcome to spiritual forums and I hope you will enjoy it here.

Aislynn · #6 01-03-2018, 03:45 PM

Thank you so much everyone for the warm welcome! Hello right back. :)

Hi Steven!
Nice to know I'm not the only newbie here. :)
To answer your questions, no I have no control over when I have them and have not reached a point where I have asked any questions of John. Although I DID at one point attempt to use crystals to try to control having them and assist me with more clarity and looking back that is not something I probably should have done. It was all too new of an awareness to me and I was totally and completely unprepared for the consequences. I was essentially bombarded with precognitive dreams that were so very intense and I became overwhelmed. I essentially freaked out and became almost terrified. I wrapped my crystals in cloth and stashed them as far away from me and my bedroom as I possibly could. I will discuss this more either in the dreams forum(?) or even privately if that's better for the forum?

But after that experience I basically shut down EVERYTHING (more on this somewhere else, lol). It was several years later before I had any further dreams, during this self imposed dry spell I didn't even dream of John.

I'd like to go into more detail under an appropriate forum heading but I'm not quite sure which. Do I post under dreams, past lives, twin flames? I'm so lost! Lol

I will say that John has encouraged me and comforted me. He almost always assures me that essentially, we are one. That I never will experience hurt from him, there will never be a need to feel insecure or to ever doubt him. The feeling of connectedness, love and peace is wonderful, it's like a tsunami that floods ever part of my being. So, yes, the dreams ARE wonderful and beautiful, but when I awake there is such a sense of loss that I ache from it. It's almost a physical pain and the sadness to be apart from him again is devastating. Which is why I have begun to search for guidance and found this wonderful space and all these wonderful, kindred spirits.

May you find what you are looking for and may light and peace be yours.

In light and friendship,
~Ais

Chrysalis · #7 01-03-2018, 05:17 PM

Greetings Aislynn and welcome to SF! Thank you for sharing your dreams about John. I suggest you begin with the dream forum.

Aislynn · #8 01-03-2018, 08:25 PM

Hello and thank you Chrysalis. I will head over to dreams shortly.

~Ais

Alita · #9 08-03-2018, 02:36 PM

I mean it when I say this. Have you tried looking for him on Facebook or other social media?
I have met the guy I have seen in my dreams and now He s gone. He might back but I can only hope. I know how it feels. At least you see him in your dreams now. Get the most you can out of these experiences with him in the most beneficial way.

Hugs.

Aislynn · #10 27-12-2018, 12:19 AM

Thank you Alita.

Actually I do on occasion. I try not to obsess over it though. The past year has been crazy between dreams and revelations. I actually just had another dream a few nights ago. Actually 2. They were both the same, just one a more extended version. Like the dream was interrupted by a noise in the house or something and was ‘re-booted’. Not sure how else to explain it.