The False Twin Flame

[HannibalLovesYou]

As much as we love to chat about twin flames as well as the twin flame experience, I would like to also talk about my experience with a false twin flame.

A little over two years ago I had the privilege of meeting my twin flame, and the lessons I've learnt from this experience are detailed in my previous thread titled "My BIGGEST Twin Flame Lesson so Far".

Before this however (almost a year before I met my twin flame) I had an encounter with a false twin flame which laster for about 5 months. While this may not seem too long, I wish to share my expeirience for the simple fact that I believe that sharing my story may help people who may be in false twin flame relationships without knowing it.

So basically I met my False Twin Flame (FTM) at a wedding. I felt this instant attraction to him and I became instantly obsessed with him. I had already known about the concept of twin flames and because of the intensity of my feelings, I thought to myself that "hell yeah, I met my twin flame".

We lived in different cities so I decided to look him up on facebook and we started chatting. We hit it off pretty well, until two weeks later he started ghosting me. I thought this was the classic runner/ chaser dynamic, so I started chasing. After giving up, he would start talking to me again, and the cycle continued on for a while.

I went on holiday that December to the city where he stayed as I have a lot of family there, and when he found out I was there he asked if I wanted to go out. We had a lot of fun, and we even kissed that night.

Later on however, he made it clear to me that he was unable to love (he told me so) and that we wouldn't work out.

After going back home, I'd tried to still contact him as I thought this was my destiny for one simple reason. I couldn't get over him. At that point in time, I had never loved anyone man as much as I had loved him (exes included). This feeling drained me of my emotional energy to the point where I even took up smoking for a period of time. I was doing my post graduate studies at this time and it was a pain to go to class everyday and concentrate. I was as obsessed with fixing this guy as much as I was obsessed with being with him. I believed he needed me to change him so we could live happily ever after.

He was running again, and this time it seemed like he wasn't coming back. Little did I know at the time, this was for the better. I didn't know it at the time but I had a toxic messiah complex and I was attracted to broken people because I felt like I was this God's gift to humanity and that I could fix this guy and be with him forever [b](this problem within me became apparent to me after meeting my real twin flame)[b].

Now, the most dangerous part of all of this is that many of these aspects mirror the true twin flame experience. There are however, through my experience, many important differences between Fasle Twin Flame relationships and Real Twin Flame relationships.

Please note that I will in due time write a post about my journey with my Real Twin Flame. For now, here's what I learnt about how to tell a False Twin Flame experience from The Real Thing:
[/list]
True Twin Flames: Don't cause us pain and misery in and of themselves. Rather, they show us how misrebale we are deep inside. They take the pain that we've buried deep down inside, and force us to look at it. After meeting you twin flame, it's nearly impossible to ever lie to yourself about your feelings. You can put the healing process off, but you can never hide from it again. Soonet or later, you will have to face your sh*t.

False Twin Flames: Cause you pain in and of themselves. The pain may feel similar to that experienced when not aligned with the true twin flame. The differnece here is that there's no reflection of your inner deep seated emotions. You cannot heal as a result of this relationship because it doesn't bring up pre-existing pain for healing. Rather, it adds to the pain, and it adds to it tremendously. All the pain you feel will be a direct result of this relationship, but there's nothing about it that can help you with your growth.


True Twin Flames: Forces expansion. The twin flame process brings out your inner pain for healing so that you can expand as a human being. There are moments in this relationship that feel unbearable, and it's absolutely normal to feel like you cannot do it at times. But when you do the work, you will alway feel like a better, stronger person when you work through it. Depsite the inevitability of romantic feelings for most twin flames, the main purpose is healing, growth and expansion, and the pain is only a by product of this process.

False Twin Flames: Create despair and stagnation. Unlike true twin flames, false twins don't aid in our expansion. Instead, they keep us stuck. Instead of being a byproduct of the healing and expansion process, the pain caused by false twin flames is only destructive. Nothing more. It drains us, breaks us and makes us feel worthless and undeserving of love in the long run. There's absolutely no major growth and/ or expansion that can happen in this relationship.



True Twin Flames: Show us the changes which need to be made in our lives. When I met my true twin flame, my best friend at the time was a complete narcissist, and while I was acutely aware of the impact he had on my life, the meeting with my twin flame brought up a desire to finally desolve this friendship, and though it didn't happen immediately, two months later an incident occured whereby the friendship was irrepareable, and in the llong run it was for the better.

False Twin Flames: False twin flames don't aid us in improving our lives whatsoever. At the time I met my false twin flame, I hadn't received the wakeup call to end this friendship. I was already misrable in this friendship, but this connection didn't serve me with regards to opening my eyes.


True Twin Flames: Can be felt in the 5D reality. In my experience, I was mentally aware of the 5D reality, but my awareness was limited to theory. After meeting my twin flame however, I became hypersensitive to energy flow (I was seeing a therapist that helped with my energies at the time) and I could actually feel the presence of the twin flame connection through my chakras (which I never felt before). I had also become aware of the shared higher self between me and my twin flame.

False Twin Flames: Cannot be felt in the 5D reality. You may think that the connection was written in the stars and that it's all destiny, but all of this will come from the ego. This connection is an illusion. There will be no presence of the higher twin flame (shared self), although the brain, out of our desire to believe that this person is our twin flame, may force us to believe that it is.


True Twin Flames: Are strengthened in their connection when expansion and healing take place.

False Twin Flames: Start to feel the connection dissepate when the persono the giving end starts to move forward in the expansion and healing process.


True Twin Flames: Can become an addiction when the connection is not handled properly, or when we revert back to ego. Due to the nature of the connection however, the universe will always find away to make us focus on the healing process when this happens, and at times it may be kind in it's approach, and at other times it won't be. This will always however, be out of love

False Twin Flames:Are NOTHING BUT AN ADDICTION. This relationship serves us in the same way that other unhealthy addictions serve us. It drains you, it breaks you, it becomes the only thing you care about, but the naturenof this connection won't shine a light on these unhealthy behaviours, because it's nothing more than a drug. It creates misery because it strips us of the ability to create happiness for ourselves.


And last but not least (I'd actually say this is the most important indicator), when trying to tell the differnece between a False Twin Flame and the Real Twin Flame, chances are that deep down inside, you just know whether this is the real thing or not. And by this I mean you will know it in your intuition, not your ego.

Despite the simplicity of this statement, for many of us, due to the damage caused by our socialisation, it's really hard to tell the difference between our ego and our intuition. Perhaps when I get a better grasp on this experience myself, I will be able to put it in words in another thread.
[/list]

Simply put the Twin Flame connection, although daunting, can never be severed no matter what because the point of this connection is to grow both individually as well as together through our shared energy flow.

False twin flames however do not share this purpose, and when one begins healing and expanding, the connection to the false twin will dissepate and become a mere life lesson.

[HannibalLovesYou]

As much as we love to chat about twin flames as well as the twin flame experience, I would like to also talk about my experience with a false twin flame.

A little over two years ago I had the privilege of meeting my twin flame, and the lessons I've learnt from this experience are detailed in my previous thread titled "My BIGGEST Twin Flame Lesson so Far".

Before this however (almost a year before I met my twin flame) I had an encounter with a false twin flame which laster for about 5 months. While this may not seem too long, I wish to share my expeirience for the simple fact that I believe that sharing my story may help people who may be in false twin flame relationships without knowing it.

So basically I met my False Twin Flame (FTM) at a wedding. I felt this instant attraction to him and I became instantly obsessed with him. I had already known about the concept of twin flames and because of the intensity of my feelings, I thought to myself that "hell yeah, I met my twin flame".

We lived in different cities so I decided to look him up on facebook and we started chatting. We hit it off pretty well, until two weeks later he started ghosting me. I thought this was the classic runner/ chaser dynamic, so I started chasing. After giving up, he would start talking to me again, and the cycle continued on for a while.

I went on holiday that December to the city where he stayed as I have a lot of family there, and when he found out I was there he asked if I wanted to go out. We had a lot of fun, and we even kissed that night.

Later on however, he made it clear to me that he was unable to love (he told me so) and that we wouldn't work out.

After going back home, I'd tried to still contact him as I thought this was my destiny for one simple reason. I couldn't get over him. At that point in time, I had never loved anyone man as much as I had loved him (exes included). This feeling drained me of my emotional energy to the point where I even took up smoking for a period of time. I was doing my post graduate studies at this time and it was a pain to go to class everyday and concentrate. I was as obsessed with fixing this guy as much as I was obsessed with being with him. I believed he needed me to change him so we could live happily ever after.

He was running again, and this time it seemed like he wasn't coming back. Little did I know at the time, this was for the better. I didn't know it at the time but I had a toxic messiah complex and I was attracted to broken people because I felt like I was this God's gift to humanity and that I could fix this guy and be with him forever [b](this problem within me became apparent to me after meeting my real twin flame)[b].

Now, the most dangerous part of all of this is that many of these aspects mirror the true twin flame experience. There are however, through my experience, many important differences between Fasle Twin Flame relationships and Real Twin Flame relationships.

Please note that I will in due time write a post about my journey with my Real Twin Flame. For now, here's what I learnt about how to tell a False Twin Flame experience from The Real Thing:
[/list]
True Twin Flames: Don't cause us pain and misery in and of themselves. Rather, they show us how misrebale we are deep inside. They take the pain that we've buried deep down inside, and force us to look at it. After meeting you twin flame, it's nearly impossible to ever lie to yourself about your feelings. You can put the healing process off, but you can never hide from it again. Soonet or later, you will have to face your sh*t.

False Twin Flames: Cause you pain in and of themselves. The pain may feel similar to that experienced when not aligned with the true twin flame. The differnece here is that there's no reflection of your inner deep seated emotions. You cannot heal as a result of this relationship because it doesn't bring up pre-existing pain for healing. Rather, it adds to the pain, and it adds to it tremendously. All the pain you feel will be a direct result of this relationship, but there's nothing about it that can help you with your growth.


True Twin Flames: Forces expansion. The twin flame process brings out your inner pain for healing so that you can expand as a human being. There are moments in this relationship that feel unbearable, and it's absolutely normal to feel like you cannot do it at times. But when you do the work, you will alway feel like a better, stronger person when you work through it. Depsite the inevitability of romantic feelings for most twin flames, the main purpose is healing, growth and expansion, and the pain is only a by product of this process.

False Twin Flames: Create despair and stagnation. Unlike true twin flames, false twins don't aid in our expansion. Instead, they keep us stuck. Instead of being a byproduct of the healing and expansion process, the pain caused by false twin flames is only destructive. Nothing more. It drains us, breaks us and makes us feel worthless and undeserving of love in the long run. There's absolutely no major growth and/ or expansion that can happen in this relationship.



True Twin Flames: Show us the changes which need to be made in our lives. When I met my true twin flame, my best friend at the time was a complete narcissist, and while I was acutely aware of the impact he had on my life, the meeting with my twin flame brought up a desire to finally desolve this friendship, and though it didn't happen immediately, two months later an incident occured whereby the friendship was irrepareable, and in the llong run it was for the better.

False Twin Flames: False twin flames don't aid us in improving our lives whatsoever. At the time I met my false twin flame, I hadn't received the wakeup call to end this friendship. I was already misrable in this friendship, but this connection didn't serve me with regards to opening my eyes.


True Twin Flames: Can be felt in the 5D reality. In my experience, I was mentally aware of the 5D reality, but my awareness was limited to theory. After meeting my twin flame however, I became hypersensitive to energy flow (I was seeing a therapist that helped with my energies at the time) and I could actually feel the presence of the twin flame connection through my chakras (which I never felt before). I had also become aware of the shared higher self between me and my twin flame.

False Twin Flames: Cannot be felt in the 5D reality. You may think that the connection was written in the stars and that it's all destiny, but all of this will come from the ego. This connection is an illusion. There will be no presence of the higher twin flame (shared self), although the brain, out of our desire to believe that this person is our twin flame, may force us to believe that it is.


True Twin Flames: Are strengthened in their connection when expansion and healing take place.

False Twin Flames: Start to feel the connection dissepate when the persono the giving end starts to move forward in the expansion and healing process.


True Twin Flames: Can become an addiction when the connection is not handled properly, or when we revert back to ego. Due to the nature of the connection however, the universe will always find away to make us focus on the healing process when this happens, and at times it may be kind in it's approach, and at other times it won't be. This will always however, be out of love

False Twin Flames:Are NOTHING BUT AN ADDICTION. This relationship serves us in the same way that other unhealthy addictions serve us. It drains you, it breaks you, it becomes the only thing you care about, but the naturenof this connection won't shine a light on these unhealthy behaviours, because it's nothing more than a drug. It creates misery because it strips us of the ability to create happiness for ourselves.


And last but not least (I'd actually say this is the most important indicator), when trying to tell the differnece between a False Twin Flame and the Real Twin Flame, chances are that deep down inside, you just know whether this is the real thing or not. And by this I mean you will know it in your intuition, not your ego.

Despite the simplicity of this statement, for many of us, due to the damage caused by our socialisation, it's really hard to tell the difference between our ego and our intuition. Perhaps when I get a better grasp on this experience myself, I will be able to put it in words in another thread.
[/list]

Simply put the Twin Flame connection, although daunting, can never be severed no matter what because the point of this connection is to grow both individually as well as together through our shared energy flow.

False twin flames however do not share this purpose, and when one begins healing and expanding, the connection to the false twin will dissepate and become a mere life lesson.

[M.Tesla]

Thank you I needed to read this. This seems what I'm dealing with (a false twin flame)

[Inika]

i confused a soul connection as a twin flame. you know what hurt....the expectations I had. not him. he did not hurt me or go out of his way to be sure i was hurt. I hurt myself constantly by ignoring common sense and and devaluing my self worth by beliving i deserved to feel that way for chasing someone who would never see my worth. Thats what hurt the most. letting my own self down by accepting so little and saying 'sorry inika, its all you get'

false twin or not. we allow it. we hurt our self by ignoring our self. we knew, we just wanted to pretend our self was lying to us. we ignored it and put it down to 'negative thinking' stay positive thinking about them so they can be in union .....you know how that song goes ^

but really. we knew. they were never going to be the one or choose you as their one.

once i realised that and brought healing and self love to myself. The whole game changed.

[Anala]

HannibalLovesYou,

Thank you for the clarity on the subject. It helps clarify a very confusing subject.

[SierraNevadaStar]

Thanks for this, "HannibalLovesYou." Your post could not have come at a more providential time. I'd been thinking something, suspecting something, for a long time in regards to my real twin and the type of connection he's married into - but even more so recently. When you know, you know.