It's too much

[Akira]

I was thinking today, after a decidedly testing holiday period and the realisation that this whole tf thing is just too much!!!!

Is the relationship really about being together?
Somewhere deep in my heart, I think maybe not. They pull every negative, trigger and place of not being of light out of you, to the forefront. To the place which has you falling on your knees and really saying ... I can't do this anymore.

Those who are together I salute you, this is the hardest, harshest experience, yes there is the light, however with that light comes the darkness and as the darkness rips the whole of you screaming into the next season, the next part. The whole of love...

The pain it erupts in your chest and for me and mine, he just can't do it. He wants me to be perfect. I am not perfect, I am just me. I would rather be in a soul mate relationship. I deserve to be loved without the drama, without the judgement of how bad I am. Jeez if I am so bad, what's with hanging round me all the time (I say this in a tongue in cheek, jest way)...

I will let go of all my expectations to open myself to whatever the universe is trying to tell me and give me right now. The bottom line is I love me and that is all there is to it, I am too important to feel as if I am drowning all the time.

Of course the truth is we are both not evolved enough, guess it will not be this life, it will be another and I accept this, I take this on board. I finally see it for what it is. If I stop boxing my ideas in then they will stop trapping me...

This is my ode to being free...

[HowardLover]

Twin flames don’t have to be together. Me and mine are and it is special but yes very very hard at times! It’s like I’m looking at myself

[ssdm1]

Ahhh sorry you're struggling.

I really don't think this is about being together romantically. When I got to the point where you are, where I was ready to say goodbye to it all, what I learned instead was acceptance. Once I stopped listening to other people's unsolicited opinions of what should be, once I stopped having expectations of him or of our connection, then things changed for the better.

Acceptance of what will be will be in these relationships is key.

He and I are in a good place. We're talking on the phone more and texting almost daily. He's making more effort to "make time" for me as I make more effort to not have expectations. I'm learning he does love me and that I really need to have faith in that and not "expect" outward signs of that love.

You may find as I did, that once you let go and ACCEPT that it does bring your twin more in line and back to you.

Hugs to you

[happyhaunts03]

My TF and I aren't together. And as much as I miss him in the 3d sometimes, it's just better this way. We love each other deeply, but with extreme happiness and joy also came extreme pain and insecurity. Apart, we can spiritually be together without as much drama and it's taught us a bit about what "unconditional love" really means. Good luck to you.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Akira

I was thinking today, after a decidedly testing holiday period and the realisation that this whole tf thing is just too much!!!!

Is the relationship really about being together?
Somewhere deep in my heart, I think maybe not. They pull every negative, trigger and place of not being of light out of you, to the forefront. To the place which has you falling on your knees and really saying ... I can't do this anymore.

Those who are together I salute you, this is the hardest, harshest experience, yes there is the light, however with that light comes the darkness and as the darkness rips the whole of you screaming into the next season, the next part. The whole of love...

The pain it erupts in your chest and for me and mine, he just can't do it. He wants me to be perfect. I am not perfect, I am just me. I would rather be in a soul mate relationship. I deserve to be loved without the drama, without the judgement of how bad I am. Jeez if I am so bad, what's with hanging round me all the time (I say this in a tongue in cheek, jest way)...

I will let go of all my expectations to open myself to whatever the universe is trying to tell me and give me right now. The bottom line is I love me and that is all there is to it, I am too important to feel as if I am drowning all the time.

Of course the truth is we are both not evolved enough, guess it will not be this life, it will be another and I accept this, I take this on board. I finally see it for what it is. If I stop boxing my ideas in then they will stop trapping me...

This is my ode to being free...

Oh sweetie!!!
Whether you're TFs or not, if you have to dim your light in order to get accepted it isn't healthy for you. Try to come to terms with that it's not meant to be, accept it. Doesn't mean you have to stop caring about him. It's letting go of him -and I think often mostly the hopes and dreams we built in our head & hearts- in and with love.
Yes it will freaking hurt, but you'll get through. And when you've had that time to heal you will have space for that Soul Mate.
Sometimes it can also be a relief in spite of the pain. Especially if you've had lots of stress and pain in the connection.
Sending you a big hug and Love!

[ThenextLew]

Originally Posted by Akira

I was thinking today, after a decidedly testing holiday period and the realisation that this whole tf thing is just too much!!!!

Is the relationship really about being together?
Somewhere deep in my heart, I think maybe not. They pull every negative, trigger and place of not being of light out of you, to the forefront. To the place which has you falling on your knees and really saying ... I can't do this anymore.

Those who are together I salute you, this is the hardest, harshest experience, yes there is the light, however with that light comes the darkness and as the darkness rips the whole of you screaming into the next season, the next part. The whole of love...

The pain it erupts in your chest and for me and mine, he just can't do it. He wants me to be perfect. I am not perfect, I am just me. I would rather be in a soul mate relationship. I deserve to be loved without the drama, without the judgement of how bad I am. Jeez if I am so bad, what's with hanging round me all the time (I say this in a tongue in cheek, jest way)...

I will let go of all my expectations to open myself to whatever the universe is trying to tell me and give me right now. The bottom line is I love me and that is all there is to it, I am too important to feel as if I am drowning all the time.

Of course the truth is we are both not evolved enough, guess it will not be this life, it will be another and I accept this, I take this on board. I finally see it for what it is. If I stop boxing my ideas in then they will stop trapping me...

This is my ode to being free...

Please dont say that
I dont know whats going on but if you feel being separate is what is best than please try your best to keep you guys energy pure by prayer and meditation

Dont let negative thoughts and feelings take over

[HannibalLovesYou]

Originally Posted by Akira

I was thinking today, after a decidedly testing holiday period and the realisation that this whole tf thing is just too much!!!!

Is the relationship really about being together?
Somewhere deep in my heart, I think maybe not. They pull every negative, trigger and place of not being of light out of you, to the forefront. To the place which has you falling on your knees and really saying ... I can't do this anymore.

Those who are together I salute you, this is the hardest, harshest experience, yes there is the light, however with that light comes the darkness and as the darkness rips the whole of you screaming into the next season, the next part. The whole of love...

The pain it erupts in your chest and for me and mine, he just can't do it. He wants me to be perfect. I am not perfect, I am just me. I would rather be in a soul mate relationship. I deserve to be loved without the drama, without the judgement of how bad I am. Jeez if I am so bad, what's with hanging round me all the time (I say this in a tongue in cheek, jest way)...

I will let go of all my expectations to open myself to whatever the universe is trying to tell me and give me right now. The bottom line is I love me and that is all there is to it, I am too important to feel as if I am drowning all the time.

Of course the truth is we are both not evolved enough, guess it will not be this life, it will be another and I accept this, I take this on board. I finally see it for what it is. If I stop boxing my ideas in then they will stop trapping me...

This is my ode to being free...

In my experience, the twin flame relationship isn't meant to cause you pain in and of itself, but rather to bring your deep, hidden pain to the surface so that you can deal with it.

The worst thing you can do is to ignore your pain for the sake of "positive vibes" and what not. You need to experience the pain fully so that you can understand where it's coming from (and in most cases this will be your childhood). You can't fully heal until you experience the pain to a degree whereby you understand it.

That being said, please understand the purpose of the twin flame relationship is growth and expansion. If the pain you're experiencing does NOTHING BUT bring you down and ruin your life, please reconsider whether this person is a True Twin Flame or a False Twin Flame (Karmic Tie).

Disclaimer: I've experienced the pain of a false twin flame before I met my actual twin flame. I'd like to make a full thread regarding this experience and what I've learnt, but for the sake of your thread I will make a brief summary of each (once again, this is from my own experience).

False Twin Flame: This kind of person has a similar energetic movement of the twin flame experience. You experience intense emotions with this individual, and despite the pain they cause you, you feel like you can still love them unconditionally. That being said, you experience so much pain in this relationship you feel as though this should be the twin flame relationship because of this. The difference however is that instead of bringing up old pain to the surface for the sake of dealing with it, they in a sense create pain for the sake of hurting you. You feel worthless, as if you depend on this person for worth. You struggle to go on with life because this connection is so energetically draining and eventually you feel like a shadow of your former self.

I must state however that is my experience, the positives to meeting a false twin flame is that it can be an indicator that you're true twin flame is about to come into your life once you rid yourself of the bondage from your false twin flame

True Twin Flame: This person in essence is a mirror of your self. They cause you pain because they bring up pain that you hold deep within for the sake of dealing with it. They bring out your flaws to your face. Meeting this person means that you can NO LONGER run away from yourself because you have, in fact, met the other piece of yourself. You don't feel like you're with someone who gets you, but you feel like you're essentially with yourself. Despite what may happen between you, the look in their eyes will always show you the love and recognition they experience with you, and you will feel the same in your own eyes. You can only ever heal them by healing yourself, and they bring out the hidden pain within you for this reason . Whether they're familiar with the twin flame concept or not, they will be able to see themselves in your (although you'll never be exactly the same due to different upbringings etc). You may feel pain at certain points, but this will only serve to better not only you, but your twin too. You can no longer run away from healing or deny it. You can put it off for some time, but it will always be staring you right in the face.

The biggest difference between my false twin flame and my true twin flame is the fact that I'm able to speak to my higher twin flame now, although this in essence is both our higher being. I picture his face when I speak to this being, but I know in my heart it's my higher self as well because we share a soul.

Please know that yes, your twin flame connection will cause you pain, but it will never ruin your life

[Akira]

Originally Posted by HowardLover

Twin flames don’t have to be together. Me and mine are and it is special but yes very very hard at times! It’s like I’m looking at myself

Thanks

[Akira]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

Ahhh sorry you're struggling.

I really don't think this is about being together romantically. When I got to the point where you are, where I was ready to say goodbye to it all, what I learned instead was acceptance. Once I stopped listening to other people's unsolicited opinions of what should be, once I stopped having expectations of him or of our connection, then things changed for the better.

Acceptance of what will be will be in these relationships is key.

He and I are in a good place. We're talking on the phone more and texting almost daily. He's making more effort to "make time" for me as I make more effort to not have expectations. I'm learning he does love me and that I really need to have faith in that and not "expect" outward signs of that love.

You may find as I did, that once you let go and ACCEPT that it does bring your twin more in line and back to you.

Hugs to you

Hi
A lot of what you say here makes sense, in essense I am the one that stands back in our relate, he chases. I am happy to fly away while he holds out for me. I get now that this is no good for him and we have come a long way in the last 5 or so years.

Will take your advice and accept - love this idea a lot.

[Akira]

Originally Posted by happyhaunts03

My TF and I aren't together. And as much as I miss him in the 3d sometimes, it's just better this way. We love each other deeply, but with extreme happiness and joy also came extreme pain and insecurity. Apart, we can spiritually be together without as much drama and it's taught us a bit about what "unconditional love" really means. Good luck to you.

Thank happyhaunts - we have made some inroads over the last few days. I am not all that sure what it all means yet, however I am sure that all will be well.