Advice on loving myself/life?

[Aquarisun]

I have read that if you don't love yourself, no one else will like you. I also do believe but I did read that people will treat you based on how you feel about yourself. Problem is I don't know how to love myself or start. What if you feel you don't deserve to love yourself, you're angry at past things, hurt by old friendships, etc, scared of the future? Where do you start to heal, with affirmations and law of attraction? I certainly don't want to keep attracting negative but I am not sure where to start :/ I guess I do want to experiment the law of attraction to see if it works. I know there are books on amazon that is like a 30 day experiment kind of stuff but will loving yourself erase, doubt, fear, etc?

[TheWizard]

Very interesting question.

The first step is to forgive yourself of everything you've done, it's also just as important to forgive everyone else. We all make mistakes, but the mistakes we make cannot be changed, we can only change how we react to them and what we do next.

Self doubt also sounds like one of your major obstacles. 'I don't think I deserve love.' as you said. Thinking and believing you don't deserve it will stop you from attaining it.

Essentially you have to change much of your thinking; make a paradigm shift. Well thinking is just the first step, the real key is to believe it and feel it.

Our value of ourselves and others is based on our emotions. When you think about yourself your emotions spark with either a bad or a good vibe so to speak. The key is to trigger that emotion in a good way, feel good about yourself right down to your core.

These are just some beginning steps but another very important one is not judging ourselves and others. We are so much more then any standard we can put on ourselves and so are others. To base our value for others or ourselves on those standards only creates a sense of dissatisfaction.

Its not a easy process and takes work, but if you keep focusing on those kind of things and other good things you will eventually embody what you seek. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

Also I would like to point out that the law of attraction is greatly based on your emotions, when you feel good emotions you attract good feelings (and possibly good situations) to you. This seems to be the most significant law of karma as well. Since when you feel good your more adapt to treat people good and more adapt to be treated good by the reaction.

Well I'm sure theirs more but it's best to start small, one step at a time, as my grandpa always used to say.

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

I don't know how to love myself

Hello Aquarisun, Here’s a couple of ways to love yourself.
Mirror Work: Stand in front of the mirror for 15 mins every morning (3 months tops) looking into your own eyes and saying I LOVE YOU. I personally done this back in 2007 for 1 whole year after I got divorced. This one really turned my life around, big time! It still repeats in my head whenever I walk past a mirror. This was 8 years ago and it’s still motoring along in my head, I love it..

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

Where do you start to heal, with affirmations and law of attraction?

Ever tried Written Affirmations? The Power of Writing is stronger than verbal affirmations because there’s more of the senses involved. Get a lined note book and write

1 I Aquarisun love myself
2 You Aquarisun love yourself
3 She Aquarisun loves herself

Write this out ten times in the morning and ten times at night for 3 months tops. Remember to put your name in as this clearly tells your mind your talking about yourself.

See if you can do this within the first 30 minutes of waking up as the gates to your subconscious mind are still semi-opened.

Also write it out again at night time just before your head hits the pillow, remember whatever the last thoughts are on your mind before you go to sleep get magnified-larger through the night.
Tip: Do not watch the late night news before going to bed.

Always write in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd person, this clearly creates change because this is how you’ve learnt things since childhood.

One last thing, You'll never change a habit, belief or discipline until you change something you do daily. The secret to fast and effective life changes are found in your daily routine.

[axiomheroine]

Drink Whiskey. All bit a good one and talk to people you like.

Daily after work. :)

[axiomheroine]

Before you get me wrong, my message is start doing crazy things before you are too old like most of the people here and take life very seriously and end up dead.

You are not on a war or something with yourself. :)

lots of love and light to you.

[Aquarisun]

Originally Posted by TheWizard

Very interesting question.

The first step is to forgive yourself of everything you've done, it's also just as important to forgive everyone else. We all make mistakes, but the mistakes we make cannot be changed, we can only change how we react to them and what we do next.

Self doubt also sounds like one of your major obstacles. 'I don't think I deserve love.' as you said. Thinking and believing you don't deserve it will stop you from attaining it.

Essentially you have to change much of your thinking; make a paradigm shift. Well thinking is just the first step, the real key is to believe it and feel it.

Our value of ourselves and others is based on our emotions. When you think about yourself your emotions spark with either a bad or a good vibe so to speak. The key is to trigger that emotion in a good way, feel good about yourself right down to your core.

These are just some beginning steps but another very important one is not judging ourselves and others. We are so much more then any standard we can put on ourselves and so are others. To base our value for others or ourselves on those standards only creates a sense of dissatisfaction.

Its not a easy process and takes work, but if you keep focusing on those kind of things and other good things you will eventually embody what you seek. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

Also I would like to point out that the law of attraction is greatly based on your emotions, when you feel good emotions you attract good feelings (and possibly good situations) to you. This seems to be the most significant law of karma as well. Since when you feel good your more adapt to treat people good and more adapt to be treated good by the reaction.

Well I'm sure theirs more but it's best to start small, one step at a time, as my grandpa always used to say.

Yeah...I'm not exactly good at forgiving. I dunno I guess after several years of friends, family, people in general keep hurting you over and over, disappointing you it just gets old and I guess I make it all my fault :/ I wish I can attract loving caring people in my life that I can trust. :/

[Aquarisun]

Originally Posted by Jason72

Hello Aquarisun, Here’s a couple of ways to love yourself.
Mirror Work: Stand in front of the mirror for 15 mins every morning (3 months tops) looking into your own eyes and saying I LOVE YOU. I personally done this back in 2007 for 1 whole year after I got divorced. This one really turned my life around, big time! It still repeats in my head whenever I walk past a mirror. This was 8 years ago and it’s still motoring along in my head, I love it..

Ever tried Written Affirmations? The Power of Writing is stronger than verbal affirmations because there’s more of the senses involved. Get a lined note book and write

1 I Aquarisun love myself
2 You Aquarisun love yourself
3 She Aquarisun loves herself

Write this out ten times in the morning and ten times at night for 3 months tops. Remember to put your name in as this clearly tells your mind your talking about yourself.

See if you can do this within the first 30 minutes of waking up as the gates to your subconscious mind are still semi-opened.

Also write it out again at night time just before your head hits the pillow, remember whatever the last thoughts are on your mind before you go to sleep get magnified-larger through the night.
Tip: Do not watch the late night news before going to bed.

Always write in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd person, this clearly creates change because this is how you’ve learnt things since childhood.

One last thing, You'll never change a habit, belief or discipline until you change something you do daily. The secret to fast and effective life changes are found in your daily routine.

Yeah I hear about the mirror work. I just hope I can actually change my thinking :/ Plus I would like to think people do care and like me and I can attract that, because I honestly feel they don't or make me think they care but they don't.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

I have read that if you don't love yourself, no one else will like you. I also do believe but I did read that people will treat you based on how you feel about yourself. Problem is I don't know how to love myself or start. What if you feel you don't deserve to love yourself, you're angry at past things, hurt by old friendships, etc, scared of the future? Where do you start to heal, with affirmations and law of attraction? I certainly don't want to keep attracting negative but I am not sure where to start :/ I guess I do want to experiment the law of attraction to see if it works. I know there are books on amazon that is like a 30 day experiment kind of stuff but will loving yourself erase, doubt, fear, etc?

Hi,

That link in my signature directs you to a self love web site. Like everything else you need to apply any wisdom for it to be effective.

If you read every book and understood every concept, the intellect would still not know self love - period. It is not a logically understandable experience.

There is a old song I like with the title "You are nobody till somebody loves you". It has a lot of powerful energy and strikes a cord with me. The principal in the song is that some one can bring you an energy that will change everything about you. Which is in a way we all look for. Love from the outside to do what we have not done for self.

The energetic reality is that we need to motivate our self to feel this way about us. The one and only aspect of self that is best qualified for assisting us with this task is You as it is represented in Your Higher Self. I have been told that my web site is the most informative on the Internet. It is IF you put the principals presented into practice.

John

[athribiristan]

Originally Posted by Aquarisun

I have read that if you don't love yourself, no one else will like you. I also do believe but I did read that people will treat you based on how you feel about yourself. Problem is I don't know how to love myself or start. What if you feel you don't deserve to love yourself, you're angry at past things, hurt by old friendships, etc, scared of the future? Where do you start to heal, with affirmations and law of attraction? I certainly don't want to keep attracting negative but I am not sure where to start :/ I guess I do want to experiment the law of attraction to see if it works. I know there are books on amazon that is like a 30 day experiment kind of stuff but will loving yourself erase, doubt, fear, etc?

For me the ressurrection of Christ was a good beginning to address self love. Now I know that many believers will disagree with my interpretation of things......this message is not for you, it is for the original poster.

For me, Christ's death and rebirth symbolizes dying to one's sins and being reborn without sin. I think of sin as being any action or thought that comes between a person and their God. If we would follow him, if we would respect his sacrifice, then we must learn to die to sin. Not all at once cold turkey but moment by moment as best we can.

From there I moved on to judgement and love. I Consider them to be polar opposites. Love being the acceptance of a thing as it is and judgement being the lack of said acceptance. If we accept that God is perfect, and we acknowledge that he created everything that is and that he also created us then it must follow that one of two things are true: either the entirety of creation is perfect, or God is not.

Think about that.....God created you. Did he make a mistake? Did he somehow make you wrong? I think it's clear that he did not, that he in fact knew every flaw, every moment of weakness, every slight that you might visit upon another and he chose to change nothing. How can you be anything but perfect?

Now the hard part....seeing all of the lies that you have chosen to hold on to that suggest otherwise and letting them go.

[joyfirst]

As far as others hurting you, I would recommend you to do Katie Byron's Work. First fill out judge your neighbor worksheet, and then question each statement. Look up her working with people on youtube to get the feel of how it goes.
Nobody can hurt you, but you with your own thoughts about them and about you. Good luck!